Bevin & Brian's Totally Knitting Universe

Brian on the Economy

2008-10-22T18:16:00.003-05:00

It's no secret I think Brian is one of the smartest people I know.

That said, I totally did a FemmeCast Minisode about the economic crisis, starring Brian. Clickie here and go to episodes, it's 4.5.

I totally said I'd blog when I had Brian on the show. So here it is.

In terms of fiber related items, I have been knitting hats for my neicephew. There's another bunny face hat but I forgot to photograph it.

Missing my MoJo

2008-07-30T11:36:00.004-05:00

It's true, I've been missing. So has Brian.

I am not sure the status of Brian and knitting, but his Wii is going strong and he has this game called Link's Crossbow Training. Which does not have a crossbow but has some sort of attachment for the wiimote that looks like a white plastic crossbow handle. He and his BF Boomer had a friend over and her partner ended up being a total racist and was really crazy on that game, using racial epithets to describe the characters he was shooting. Needless to say, he has not been welcomed back Chez Sooner and Boomer, but he left many high scores on the Link's Crossbow Game. I have made it my stated intention to defeat all of his high scores. So far so good.

I miss knitting. I barely pick up the needles anymore. While my social life has picked up in ways that prevent me from ever watching television (I've gotten through 9 episodes of this season's L Word since February and that's all the tv I've watched) I have plenty of time to knit while waiting for certified checks for work or on subways. But for some reason my ability to get together a small project for traveling like that has left me. It's so bizarre that something I was so passionate about isn't at my fingertips anymore and I'm not sure what that's about.

I miss the sense of accomplishment. The peacefulness and sense of purpose in the downtime. I don't know where it went. I've been working halfheartedly on a modified scarf from the Knitting New Scarves book (the cover project) in the gorgeous Angora I bought at Rhinebeck last year. It's soft and perfect but moving along only a small inch at a time.

Two of my old, good friends are expecting a baby in February. This will be the first baby of any of my good friends, the first who is going to call me Aunt. And I am thrilled beyond belief. I've decided to knit it a wardrobe of hats. Easy, small projects, good stash busters and useful. I'll make lots of sizes so it can grow into them. I also have a blanket I'll finish for it, since I've had 2 on the needles since 2005 that need to get done.

I've had this craving to knit lately. Every time I pass my table and chairs behind my apartment building, where I used to knit all the time at my old apartment with my scoundrel fiance, I think about getting a cup of coffee and enjoying the morning shade with my knitting. But I don't do it because I'm always in such a rush.

And I'll even bring my knitting with me places and then never pull it out. I don't understand what happened to my mojo and why I don't feel as compelled to knit anymore. Do I need a new hobby? Do I need to knit other things?

Anyway, I am in the process of re prioritizing my life and trying to figure out my passions and excitements and fitting them in and making it work. I am really happy, by and large now. And when I am stressed or overwhelmed (which is a lot now, too) I am even still happy because it's good stress, and good busy. I feel really productive, like I am making a difference in the world and becoming more of the woman I want to be.

I can definitely knit while I work on the podcast (which does take about 30-40 hours per episode to produce). I'm not making some grand sweeping gesture that I will absolutely change or anything, I am just taking stock of how I prioritize my time and how to better use it in order to add (even) more joy. I just need to figure out projects that add joy to me and don't feel like something I need to finish, you know?

Brian is featured in Episode 2, talking all about his break-up strategies. And Episode 3 is about self-esteem. Forthcoming Episode 4 is on Health at Every Size (it's all done on my end, my technical editor, Anna, is off in the woods). I am joining her in the woods for Michigan again. Part of packing is, of course, figuring out what to knit in the dirt. I hope I do it.

Wavy Gravy Scarf and My Podcast

2008-04-27T10:06:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been pretty monogamous. With my knitting. Mostly I am working on this wavy scarf from Knitting New Scarves. (Called New Wave and the yarn is Artful Yarns Shakespeare merino.) It's pretty sexy and I will share an enumerated list of the reasons why it is sexy.

Number one, because when you're knitting it, you're working in the round on two sizes of double points so it looks really complicated. It does require the use of my ears to hold the extra needles. In that way I feel like I am really doing this in honor of people who do not have ears with which to hold their extra knitting needles.

Number two, it is really sexy because essentially it creates a wavy stockinette tube which is joined together every few rows. This is ideal for the yarn I am using because it shows off the variegation without getting too boring to knit.

My cat, ALF, agreed to step in as a model for this project because Macy, the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe (TM), was being uncharacteristically prissy.

Number three, once you figure out the instructions, the repeats are easily memorized and it makes a great subway knit for that reason.

Number four this yarn breaks a lot if you tug even a little too hard. But since you're knitting a tube, you can tuck the ends in there and they disappear. Genius!! I didn't figure this out until about halfway through but I have saved a lot of end weaving even still.

Number five? Bring this project to a group of knitters and everyone wants to know all about it because it is so weird and different yet made of awesome. I busted it out at a muggle party and all of the knitters in the room flocked to the project.

In other news my podcast just dropped!!! I am so thrilled. There's not even a lick of mention of fiber arts in the first episode. Brian is going to be featured in episode 2.

If you're interested in fat fashion, queer culture, good music, sex, you know. That kind of stuff. You should totally listen, subscribe, tell all of your friends.

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Franklin and the 1,000 Knitters

2008-04-20T19:13:00.005-05:00

Ever since Brian moved to Central Jersey, we like to have an elaborate adventure now and again. Sure, sometimes I just go visit him and his BF* Boomer to play wii on their 122" television screen, but we tend to have the most fun when we go out and make mischief.

Knowing that Franklin was coming within 2 hours of us to shoot for his 1,000 Knitters project, I thought this was the ideal road trip. We love to have brushes with knitting celebs, like our time on the Yarn Bus with Vickie Howell. Plus, I noticed a decided lack of cleavage in the 1,000 Knitters previews Franklin has posted. Seriously, it's a waist-up portrait mostly of women! I know for a FACT that there are a ton of not-so-prudish knitters out there.

I opted to wear my new ruffly spring fling dress with little army planes on it. I got it as a gift from Re/Dress NYC, a new plus-sized vintage store, for modeling for them.

We arrived in Kennett Square, PA and were charmed by the quaint street that Wool Gathering calls home. We were also promptly chased down the street by the Obama supporters since the primary is on Tuesday.

Wool Gathering had everything together for the shoot. Complete with a sitting area outside, a numbered system not unlike a deli counter, a raffle and a 10% off coupon. I would like to think that it was fate that enabled me to be knitter number 69 for the day.

Brian and I spent our time waiting on the sidewalk, got some delightful french toast flavored coffee from the chicken cafe next door, and met up with some interesting knitters hanging outside the shop.

We met Catherine and Joyce from the Philly Burbs SNB. Joyce was selling beaded stitch markers from a sheep purse. So cute. Brian and I both bought stitch markers.

The main event was, of course, our time in front of the lens. Franklin immediately recognized my name when I introduced myself and asked if I was Bevin as in Bevin and Sooner and I pointed to Brian and said, "He's right there!"**

Franklin was so nice and fun. He was wearing sheep earrings, which was totally cute. I wonder if he wears bull earrings when he goes to the gay rodeo? Or if his thematic jewelry is exclusively to the fiber enthusiast crowd?

The scarf is ultra long already and Franklin has plans for a gallery show and a book. My vision for the gallery opening is for Franklin to make his entrance mummified in the scarf and then have a bunch of people dressed as sheep do a sort of maypole dance undressing him.

We also met the Knitting Curmudgeon, who was knitting on a chair behind Franklin's studio set up. She was also very nice and delightful.

I thought I saw a naked ball of sock yarn hiding under her feet but I couldn't be sure. I definitely didn't meet a chain smoking Romney Ewe, which was disappointing. But Franklin more than made up for it. He liked the planes on my dress and my vision of more cleavage for the 1,000 Knitters project.

Things you may not know about the 1,000 Knitters project: The scarf is not actually all garter stitch. Though I chose to knit my row in garter, there were stretches of stockinette, a couple of fugged up stitches here and there, and, of course, the Lucy Neatby memorial hole. Also, Franklin does the entire shoot on his knees. As a girl who has spent a good bit of time on her knees*** I know that is no easy feat.

Brian and I are both really excited about Franklin's project and can't wait for its release.

And, by way of announcement, I am starting a podcast!! It's called FemmeCast: The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Life and will feature Brian as a regular contributor to the Cast (he is my Big Gay Agenda correspondent).

While the knitting content is likely sporadic, it will definitely have a lot of queer content, fat girl fashion and series of mine and Brian's letters to various people, including a reading of our Tyra Banks piece from Gayety, the Queer Comedy Cabaret Brian occasionally joins me for.

The first episode launches this week hopefully, so stay tuned to the site for more info! I'll post an announcement here when we do fiber related features. There may be an expose about how we feel that crochet is bullshit.

*Boyfriend
**Franklin said our blog was one of the first he was reading before he even started his own! That was awesome and will probably jog us to blog more.
***Get your mind out of the gutter, I was raised Catholic.

Quite Unexpectedly

2008-02-25T21:19:00.003-05:00

Unexpectedly, I had the intended recipient of the lizard ridge scarf come into town 2 days after I posted my blog entry about it and when the scarf was already bundled up in a package to head down south. I was so happy I had this project finished because I could welcome her with cuddly warmth to off set the otherwise really awful circumstances that brought her here.

That scarf is perfect and Frankie loved it.

Over the weekend, Frankie saw a hank of Blue Sky Alpaca's Bulky Naturals sitting next to my computer. She picked it up and read the price tag "Thirteen dollars!?!"

"Yeah," I answered. "Yarn ain't cheap. That scarf I gave you was really expensive." She shook her head. I don't think she realized even that the hank she was holding was only 45 yards of yarn and that won't even make a hat! Every time I bring a new Muggle into my life the process of indoctrinating them into the knitting fold is like seeing knitting anew.

You know the best thing at a party? Meeting another knitter. I met this great girl at a cupcake roomwarming yesterday. When she confessed to being a knitter Frankie grabbed the scarf I made her and showed it off. There is no better pride for a knitter I think than having other people brag about your handknitted goods.

The girl from the cupcake warming knew immediately that the scarf sported by my friend was made of Noro. I told her the story about the Blue Sky Alpaca and she laughed and said, "Yeah, that scarf wasn't cheap!!"

Other people at the party brought me a gift set. It was a Posh Pooches gift set. A book of dog sweater patterns and a set of #8 needles with dogs on the tops. Super cute. I am going to do a doggie argyle sweater for a chihuahua next.

The O Pile!

2008-02-17T16:38:00.003-05:00

I have a new knitting term, y'all. I decided, as I was unpacking my Yarn Room, that almost everything in my pile of "UFOs" is really finished except for the finishing.

I've decided this constitutes my O Pile, which is Finished Objects that haven't been finished yet. There's a baby blanket where all the squares are done, it just needs to be assembled and bordered. There's another baby blanket that needs a border. There is a dog sweater that is knitted, all the pieces are stitched together, it just needs some decoration.

Well, here's the story of my wavy scarf, which was just rustled up and is, right now, blocking. I hate blocking and I am totally doing it to get down my O pile.

I took the pattern from the Lizard Ridge afghan pattern on Knitty. Basically, the afghan is done up in strips–I just did one strip, added a border pattern from Nicky Epstein’s Knitting Over the Edge and voila! A scarf.

The pattern is easy to memorize and really fun.

This is the scarf pre-blocking.

This was my first Noro project. At first I loved the colorway, then I hated it, and then I just focused on one color that every time it repeated it pissed me off. Seriously. I wasn’t sure what to do with the scarf so, for the longest time, it languished in my O pile, all knitted up with no place to go.

Then I met a girl who I was really sweet on. She was visiting me from out of town but only brought one scarf with her to combat the cold NYC climate. Every time she put on her scarf I got sort of pissed at it. I couldn’t pinpoint the reason. But I realized later, after she flew back home, what I was so pissed at about the scarf was the colorway. It was a commercial scarf with a lot of the same colors as this one. But totally different and not homemade with love or whatever.

I knew, right then, I had to pull this beast out of the O pile, weave in the ends and get to blocking.

She’s going to love it.

And you know, I am going to sound all hippie woo woo for a second, but even though I didn't make it for her, as I was pinning it out to block it, I totally saw so much of her in the piece. It even prompted me to write a poetic accompaniment to the gift.

I will see her soon, at that time you'll get a modeling shot.

PS to Last One Skeining. Thank you for the prompt to post something in my blog. Even though you're in Australia, I am totally updating in your honor.

Checking in!

2007-11-21T17:37:00.000-05:00

Here's the one great thing about being in a knitting group. No matter how crazy your life is, you have a scheduled time to go sit and knit. My life has changed so dramatically in the last 2 months. I moved, suddenly, and as of an email received November 1 I am no longer engaged or partnered. Glad I never started that engagement sweater!

The good news is, I still have a yarn room! I somehow got a unicorn place within 2 miles of Manhattan where I have a great railroad style apartment, one room of which is for yarn and crafting! I am excited to get that in order, but of course it is last priority after the living spaces. Seems a little odd, as knitting usually centers me in times of strife, but I have been exercising and distracting myself by going out with friends a lot.

So the great progress I have made during my Tuesday knitting dates is on the Tulip sweater. I used the for real kit and I must say the Dream in Color yarn is totally divine. The colorways are just slightly variegated and so pretty and soft.

I went to WEBS on a visit to Northampton a couple of weeks ago. I bought a cable needle. That's it! I really am only looking for yarn I love and specifically want yarn for that darn Emerald sweater! The pattern calls for yarn that would retail at over $200!! So I am on the hunt for a reasonably priced but gorgeous bulky yarn in a subtly variegated colorway. My dream yarn? The bulky version of the Dream in Color light blue/cloud looking "Some Summer Sky". Not subtly variegated but totally delish. However, that would retail something like $300 for 1500 yards. HA!

Knitting group serves to bring more hilarity. Last One Skeining taught herself to crochet. As though she wasn't already a knitting savant! She actually said, "Crochet makes me feel powerful." Wow.

Beth kindly brings her swift and ball winder to group when she is asked. I wound up my bunny yarn from Rhinebeck and just need to find a nice pattern to go with it. Maybe one from Knitting New Scarves?

I'll post pictures of my pink yarn room soon.

Triumphant Return

2007-10-23T11:59:00.000-05:00

This is Brian reporting in.

I know. It's been a while since I contributed to this blog. Shameful. I mean it has my name on it and everything.

In all fairness I took a year off. Oh, I still picked up my needles now and again, but I found myself occupying my hands with the new (well, new since I last blogged) boyfriend and my awesome Wii. And I found my new (well new since I last blogged) job occupied more of my time than the old one did.

But I can see the fall colors out of my window even if global climate change is keeping me from feeling crisp autum air and the fiber bug bit me in the ass again and now here I am. I have a number of projects OTN* and even a few recent FOs to report about, and I'll give a full update soon, but I really wanted to talk about a new book, Knitting New Scarves by Lynn Barr.

Some of my correspondence with Bevin about this title can be read in an earlier post of Bevin's here.

The book is exceptional and has been really inspirational for me. Just reading through it is encouraging me to begin thinking of knitting in 3 dimensions, more so than I had before anyway, and I'm anxious to start some of the more unusual projects. There's practically nothing in the book that I don't want to at least swatch if for no other purpose than to just try the unconventional techniques routinely employed by these challenging patterns.

I dove right in and grabbed some Lion Brand WoolEase I'd long ago stashed for some long forgotten project and cast on. I chose "Stacked Wedges" because I liked the effect of the short row shaping from the photograph in the book and I was looking for an easy knit to mindlessly work on while I watched Heroes on the sofa with Boomer. In less than a week I've managed about half a scarf.

Here's photo of my progress.

This scarf features some simple short row shaping to create a really interesting geometric design. It zigs and zags as it comes off the needles. The color changes keep it interesting and the pattern can be easily memorized.

One thing to be aware of. The photographs in the book show a scarf with a clear right and wrong side. In those photographs, the join between colors is only visible on the back, while the wedges stack cleanly on the right side. However, following the pattern as written will produce a scarf with visible joins on both sides.

Because I discovered this well after I'd begun I've decided to continue on with alternating joins. It's very small and doesn't bother me too much, plus it makes the scarf truly reversable. But if I ever knit a scarf from this pattern again I would correct this problem by knitting 7 full rows of the old color after the second short row pattern on the left wedges instead of 6 and then 4 full rows of the new color before beginning the short row pattern again instead of 5. This easy alteration on every other wedge will put all joins on the same side.

This is a really fun knit and at this rate I'll be able to show off a new FO next week. But that's not binding. You know. Just in case I fall behind schedule.

I'm trying to decide what to try next. I'll keep you posted. I swear.

*on the needles

Rhinebeck Redux

2007-10-23T10:47:00.000-05:00

My knitting group friend Babs got sick so she couldn't go to Rhinebeck. However, my very good friend and non-knitter, professional comedian Kelli Dunham, agreed to go on a half-day jaunt to the NY Sheep and Wool Festival.

Kelli asked if she was going to be the only butch dyke there, and honestly I think we only spotted a couple of others. People watching was the best part of the event and I loved how many men in utilikilts we saw. If I ever get her to come to the festival again (doubtful) she'll have to wear her utilikilt. Something butch dykes and male sheep and wool festigoers have in common.

It is always interesting bringing a Muggle into the fold of the Knitting world. You tend to look at the whole spectacle from a new set of eyes. We had a lovely drive up that ended with a bunch of traffic to get into a Sheep and Wool festival. One would not anticipate traffic for this sort of thing, but traffic there was. And tour buses, many tour buses.

Kelli was definitely not prepared for how many people would be at this event. And I don't think it was just the quantity of souls pouring into the gates of the Dutchess County Fair Grounds that astounded her, it was also the palpable enthusiasm of the fairgoers. People were all smiles and bravely wearing knitwear despite the 75 degree weather.

I have wanted Angora bunny yarn for quite some time. This angora rabbit cost less than the Angora yarn I ended up getting:

$40 on sale from a vendor in one of the stalls. I saw several other rabbits with sold signs on their cages.

I saw a lot of animals that look like my cats. Sheep, goats and Alpacas who are very similar to a Himalayan or a Persian kitty. Only their poop was a lot bigger.

Angora goats!

In a rare moment of shyness I was feeling a bit too out of my element to ask the sheepherders/farmers questions about the flocks. I remain very curious about the sheep to shawl process and intend to take some workshops next time I go.

The sheep pelts next to the live sheep freaked me out. Message to the sheep--"Behave or this is what shall come of you!"

The Lamb Chili also freaked me out (as a former vegetarian I still get skeeved out about eating baby animals) but I ate it and it was tasty. Kelli said it was tender and not gamey as lamb usually is. I think this is the first time I have eaten lamb in about 10 years, so I don't know.

We watched the Leaping Llamas competition. It is not really much fun for the Llamas since leaping isn't really something they tend to be interested in. There are a lot of photos at my flickr, but here's one. Basically the whole competition looks like this:

It was peak foliage weekend in the NY tri-state area.

I left Kelli by the food for awhile and went shopping. In all I hit maybe 4 of the buildings, and saw a lot of yarn but felt like it was picked over. Definitely no one had enough bulky to make the sweater I was looking for. I even thought I might go home with no purchases (shock, since Rhinebeck is the equivalent of a mall of nothing but yarn stores) but I found some last minute Angora yarn I loved, enough to make a scarf, definitely pricey but soft. I really didn't want to buy just to buy and wanted to be excited about it.

Overall, it was fun but overwhelming and even though we had only been through about 1/3 of the place, we were ready to go after 2 hours. Kelli was a trooper and supportive. Next time I want to go with someone well versed in animal husbandry and/or a huge knitter posse so that I can shop vicariously through others.

Coming tomorrow--video of the Leaping Llamas competition (Alpacas included).

More at The Flickr Album

I promised Kelli she could blog about it afterward, which she has done here.

I'm Going To Rhinebeck

2007-10-19T13:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I am about 90% sure I am going to Rhinebeck. I am moving on Saturday, but since I have a crew of 4 coming to help unpack and set up my digs I think leaving at 8 AM Sunday, returning by 4 PM Sunday should be do-able, still have my life reset in time to function Monday and run over to my old place to scrub it down to get my deposit back.

Last One Skeining suggested I go with a project in mind. My project is going to be Emerald. It looks like a cozy knit and I really want a nice fluffy cardigan right now.

I read this on the Rhinebeck boards on Ravelry:

It wouldn't be Rhinebeck without the 4H clubs lamb chili. It's my first stop. That's right, chili for breakfast.

Brian and I once made 7 meat chili for the super bowl. This lamb chili fits right in with that theme and I will eat this chili, look at cute sheep and send text messages to Brian (who will be watching a preview of Cirque du Soleil on Sunday).

So if you see a fat girl with ginger spice hair ogling sheep and taking lots of pictures, say hi!

Excerpts

2007-10-17T15:11:00.000-05:00

Rather abruptly, I find myself moving for the second time in the year 2007. This is a year that will go down in infamy for myself and several of my closest girlfriends (*knock on wood* hopefully not for Brian) as a year of total BS*. We are planning a type of Burning Man / Guy Fawke's Day style new year's eve party to burn the year 2007 in effigy and hopefully start the next year fresh and ready to fulfill our dreams or at least maybe 2008 won't be such a downer.

The delightful part of my new apartment is that I am maintaining enough space so that I will still have a bedroom, office and a yarn room. I lose a backyard, gain a parking space and a view of the Manhattan skyline.

In lieu of a veritable entry, I present for your enjoyment excerpts of a recent fiber discussion I had with Brian.

TO: Bevin
FROM: Brian
RE: OMG

Bevin,

I bought this book Knitting New Scarves based entirely on my love of scarf knitting, the interesting cover art, and a review I read online. Yesterday my box from Amazon arrived and while it is completely different, Knitting New Scarves is every bit the equal of Scarf Style.

I never knew garter stitch could be so beautiful.

And do you remember the matching skeins of navy and taupe I bought at that barn sale? I've already decided that they must become "Zig Zag," a sort of interlocking intarsia scarf the author describes as "an optical illusion." It doesn't look very difficult, but it looks totally unique and fun to knit.

Of course, my favorite design in the book, "Wandering Pleats," she describes as the most difficult and the one that requires your "undivided attention." It's construction involves the use of 5 double pointed needles 2 single pointed needles, a third single pointed needle of a smaller size, and a j shaped cable needle all in use at the same time without any cabling or working in the round.

And there's a great design that I thought would appeal to you immediately called, "Black Pearls." It's a scarf that looks like a string of oversized, knitted beads. The beads are actually stuffed with batting. She said that people were constantly asking to touch the scarf when it was coming off her needles. The photographed model is in black, but she suggested white or multicolored beads would also be very nice.

I'm actually thinking about ripping out the progress I've made on my Noro scarf and using the yarn for one of the more intricate 3d designs in this book instead. That's an ongoing debate in my head.

You have to look at this book.

Link

The above link has a book review of the book including a photo of the black pearls scarf. The photo is deceptive, the scarf is almost 6 feet long.

Brian

************

TO: Brian
FROM: Bevin
RE: OMG

Brian I am very excited to see your new book. And you are right, the beaded type scarf is totally up my alley. Recall my Stalled Work In Progress on that off the shoulder Vogue Knitting sweater with the crochet beaded border thingy? Does it count as a stalled work in progress if I have abandoned it after 2 rows?

How much of your Noro scarf have you finished? I think if it is less than a foot you could rip it. Otherwise maybe your investment is too great to go back now?

I also noticed when I clickied on the Amazon link there is a new book out.

FOLK STYLE

Folk Style, Brian. It is like knitting a putamayo album cover in the shape of different garments over and over again.

************

FROM BRIAN:

Bevin,

The MQW** seems to be the ruffles of the Folk Style KAL***.

http://folkstylekal.blogspot.com/

************

FROM BEVIN:

Am I wrong or is the MQW just a series of mitered squares? What is so special about it? You are right, it is the Ruffles--although I only see one other project being cast on from that book in the whole first 20 entries of the KAL. The publisher sponsored KALs seem a little contrived but I must admit to getting a little amped about Bag Style by reading the KAL. Interweave apparently leaked a pattern for a bobble bag. http://bagstylekal.blogspot.com/

I still really wish the KAL for the Weekend Knitting book took off because there are so many great projects in there I will never get to but want to see. Oh, wait, bitches have Ravelry now!! What number are you?

************

FROM BRIAN:

Bevin I broke into 4 digits over the weekend. There are 8862 people in front of me. It could be any time now.

Yes, the MQW is just a series of mitered squares, but I beleive as with all the Style books, it was very beautifully photographed and so is getting a great deal of attention. I'm sorry to say it looks really boring to me. The FO would be nice to have, but the process of getting there would be so painful.

I'm reserving judgment on folk style. I was dubious about Poncho Style until I saw it. Now I'm even comfortable calling it Wrap Style. Amazing how perceptions can change.

************

FROM BEVIN: Brian have you read the book Cold Comfort Farm?

************

FROM BRIAN: no. I've not read Cold Comfort Farm.

************

FROM BEVIN: So far it seems really good and it came highly recommended by the knitting podcast I listen to, Cast-on. I will pass it along when I'm done.

************

BRIAN: Check out this really interesting use of self striping yarn and short rows for socks on Mag Knits.

*If you don't know what that stands for you shouldn't read this blog.
** Modern Quilt Wrap
*** Knit Along

This Just In: From an Endcap at Michaels

2007-09-21T23:50:00.001-05:00

Brian needed size 11s so he could start a pure Manos* version of My So Called Scarf.

We naturally stopped at Michaels so that he could get said size 11s.

We saw this on an endcap.

I say, it only figures Vanna White is a crocheter.

She has a whole line of "Vanna's Choice" yarns from lion brand. Dude.

The celebrity endorsed yarn was cutesy when Vickie Howell did it. Vickie is a real live knitting celebrity and designer. But honestly the Vanna yarn is just dumb.

Also, P.S. Though we didn't buy any yarn, I bought a copy of Big Girl Knits. I couldn't help myself.

*It is worth mentioning that the Manos Del Uruguay (in colorway Meadowland or something like that) Brian bought was from the Flying Fingers website. Recall our recent disappointment at the hands of their unadvertised vacation. Despite all of that, enclosed with the order was a personal note to Brian on a sexy sheep postcard and a sheep gauge counter dealy. Kevin and Elise, how you taunt us.

Barn Yarn Sale

2007-09-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

As advertised (see my previous post) Brian, Knitting Group Sue and I embarked for the Barn Yarn Sale Saturday morning. A former Local Yarn Shoppe owner was destashing from her basement. Brian remarked that it might not be so bad to have had a yarn store and go out of business because you end up with the greatest stash of all time. Arguably, this woman totally had it and then some. And destashed for charity! All of her proceeds went to help build a school for children with autism.

We drove into the far reaches of New Jersey, sweating the whole way as we realized all of the good bargains might be gone by the time we got there. At 10:30 we finally pulled into the parking lot of a spectacularly green farm. Just magnificent, really.

Brian's excitement was so great he had to keep his eyes closed.

There were many cars parked, which led us to believe the great bargains were already gone.

However, the real magic was not outside on the tables, but inside the house. So, really it wasn't a Barn Yarn Sale at all, it was actually a dining room yarn sale. Go figure.

Look at all of that Koigu!

It was really difficult to choose from the great things for sale. A lot of cashmere, fancy merino blends, etc...

And, to be honest, the true magic wasn't just in the deals it was the sheer variety and quantity of Out of Business LYS things available. The volume of things for sale was astronomical!

Novelty yarns coming every which way!

A mega ton of sock yarn.

Mini skeins of Koigu that totally delighted me, though I could find no practical use.

There was knitting paraphanalia everyhwhere you looked.

And an entire dresser full of knitting magazines from the last five years.

I developed a serious crush on this French Angora on the cone.

It was $200 for the cone. I decided to adopt an Angora Rabbit sometime in my life instead.

She even had partially knit kits available!

And, for the seriously lazy knitters, some FO*s!!!

Buttons!

Ultimately, I got some great deals but came out mostly unscathed. Like yarn, I also have a thing for collecting totebags and got a super cute one for $2 and a super cute picture for my chicken themed kitchen.

My favorite bargain is something I never would have been able to get for such a deal anywhere else. You know that glittery type of string you can thread along your knitting to give it an extra bit of glitz? This is just up my alley, and yes, I already have a skein of it at home. Well, I got a whole freaking bag of those skeins and for the sum total of $10!!!!

The pink is my favorite.

I got two skeins of blue koigu for socks and a random skein of Cascade something or other that was too sumptuous to pass up.

Brian scored some nice merinos and a bag of Rowan tweed.

This is only the second time in our friendship I have spent less on yarn than Brian has. Technically I spent more at Knitting Nation two weeks ago, but half of what I spent was on Brian's birthday present.

However, the greatest moment of the day was when all of Sue's wheeling and dealing paid off and she got 52 skeins of great wool for felting for $3 a skein! It is single ply and bulky so it felts up really well. I jokingly asked the woman if she would throw in the storage bin and she did!

Ironically enough, Sue began our trip by telling us she didn't have a stash... What a way to start!!!!

*Finished Objects

Best Knitting Treats Ever!

2007-09-13T16:38:00.000-05:00

Holy crap!

These are truly the most wonderful cupcakes ever!

Click here for the full entry. She even includes a tutorial!!

I am allergic to wheat so I can't have regular cupcakes. But give me a little flourless chocolate cupcake action and four hours to spend knitting individual cupcake toppings and I am all over it!!

Maybe I really will make these cupcakes for our Wild Jersey City knitting group!

[ETA: Ellen totally beat me to the discovery, though I didn't read her post until now...]
*****

Today I received the following email:

Subject: [jerseycityknitting] Big yarn sale in NJ this weekend
To: jerseycityknitting @ yahoogroups . com

A friend of mine who lives in Princeton asked me to pass this along:

I got a call yesterday from Lee who used to own the Glenmarl
Woolworks in Princeton. She's got more yarn than she knows what to
do with and is having a giant sale out at her farm - details below.
Feel free to pass it on to anyone you think might be interested.

GIANT YARN (yard & barn) SALE
Saturday & Sunday
September 15 & 16 (Rain or Shine)
9am to 3pm (no early birds please)
139 Route 604 - East Amwell, NJ
(between Ringoes and Sergeantsville)

fine yarn, knitting needles, books, notions, patterns, coned yarn,
spinning wheels including antique walking wheel, spinning fibers,
looms, equipment, handpainted needlepoint canvases & completed
needlepoint pillows, coned yarn, cashmere & novelty yarns...Koigu,
Rowan and lots more... including saddles, harness, computers, office
furniture & IKEA shelving...

Listen, I know I just went on a yarn binge two weeks ago, but the turmoil in my life continues, so I am doing more yarn retail therapy. Plus, how often do you get an invite to a YARN YARD SALE??? With Koigu and not just a bunch of late 70s acrylic leftovers from someone's Nana's attic?

I am picking Brian up at 9 AM Saturday.

Pictures forthcoming.

I certainly hope there is a sheep to go along with the barn.

When Crochet is Cute

2007-09-11T13:23:00.001-05:00

Both myself and Brian constantly criticize crochet as an "inferior fiber art" and "just a whole bunch of flat knots". It's true, our derision of crochet is all over this blog.

However, I am here to tell you the universe is conspiring to change our minds about crochet.

ITEM THE FIRST:

Go look at her star afghan! Go look right now! That truly makes me want to learn to crochet it is so cool. Honestly, I have no idea with what witchcraft she is able to make that star happen but it is truly truly cute beyond words.

Edit to Add: I just got Spindelicious to give me the pattern for it. It is located here clickie but I am not sure if the pattern is written in english? I mean, what is the deal with crochet patterns I just don't understand. dc=ch 3? Huh? I feel like I am trying to read bytes in a series of 1s and 0s and it just isn't coming to the fore. I think I am going to have to get a real crocheter to help me learn how to read a pattern before I have any hope of star afghans in my life.

Also, Spindelicious totally spins amazing yarns located at her etsy shop. My favorite is Parisian Candy.

ITEM THE SECOND:

Angie from my knitting group showed up crocheting. Once we all got over the shock, we realized her crochet basket weave pattern looked very much like knitted basketweave and she went very quickly along on her blanket. I think the gauge had a lot to do with it (thin, maybe DK weight yarn and small hook) but still, it was just as good as knitted basketweave and clearly more efficient.

I don't know if I will ever quite get over the Traumatic Event from our trip to AC Moore when we were first learning to knit. There were crocheters there who knew we were knitters and they talked derisively about knitting while we stood just one aisle over. Oh, I can't stand knitting! Those needles clacking together? It just GRATES my nerves! Right? I mean, our first introduction to crochet was marred by this. Also, that woman had crocheted a cozy for a toilet paper roll. I can think of a million other things that need warming in a household before toilet paper.

Anyway, I am starting to change my mind.

Brian's Birthday Yarn Binge

2007-09-07T16:11:00.000-05:00

Though Brian's birthday isn't until September 13, I thought it would be fun to go on a yarn shopping trip. We hadn't been yarn shopping together in quite some time and also I owed him from some ebay destashing I helped with when he moved a year ago. Brian took an hour and a half train ride up to Jersey City from Princeton (it usually doesn't take that long but it was a holiday weekend) and we had a lovely brunch at a French restaurant I LOVE.

After breakfast of lamb sausage crepes, we proceeded on the hour and a half car journey up to Tarrytown, NY.

View Larger Map

We went through New Jersey to try to avoid the traffic in the city on Saturdays. We failed and hit traffic anyway.

Once over the Tappan Zee Bridge and onto our destination, we cruised Main Street in Tarrytown and remarked that the new location for our favorite LYS* looks just like the old location for our favorite LYS. However, as we went down the street looking for Flying Fingers, we had a hard time finding Wooly Wooly, the Fiber Glass Yarn Ball Sheep that is so ubiquitous of Flying Fingers. We thought for certain she would be in the front window.

All we found, however, was the following:

Yes, it appears that they are decorating in craft paper and with no warning from the Flying Fingers website, everyone related to the yarn store is on vacation and we are stuck in Tarrytown with no yarn to drop bills on.

We felt like this:

However, I am a travelling attorney and I have done my share of closings in the Greater New York City area (and beyond) and my legal assistants know to hook me up with directions to the closest LYS to my far flung closings. This once led me to a barn in the middle of nowhere, but I digress.

I have had the pleasure of visiting Knitting Nation twice previously, and it is located just over the Tappan Zee bridge (from whence we came) in Nyak, NY. I went to this store once right after they opened and bought materials for my first socks and once again a little over a year ago. I was always impressed by the yarn and the book selection.

This time, however, they really outdid themselves. The store was full to bursting with yarn, sample projects and the bookshelves were overflowing. We were giddy and spent at least 2 hours in there poring over potential purchases and giggling over new yarn content since the last time we had any sort of yarn binge.

We both bought sock yarn with Chitin content. Tofutsies had a ton of colorways and it was really difficult to decide which one. Brian got a great beige colorway that I convinced him to get because how often do you really find sock yarn in a great muted colorway like that? Mine was a pretty outrageous color.

I grabbed a stack of books I wanted to look through. Not only did they have virtually all of the Elizabeth Zimmerman tomes, they had Barbara Walker, too. Some LYSs just have a few pattern booklets and the major "new guard" knitting books. I had been reading a lot of blog posts about the new guard versus the old guard and I wanted to see for myself. Obviously, I have only been doing this for about three years and have enjoyed immersing myself in the new knitster culture, but I also want to know where we come from and get a feel for it myself.

Nicky Epsteins Knitting on the Edge series reminds me a great deal of the Barbara Walker treasury I looked through, but I don't think I have found anything contemporary that reminds me if the Elizabeth Zimmerman series. I would really like to read her work in depth because the mathematical concepts are so intriguing. If only I could get my mother (a math teacher with a pHd) to read knitting books though she does not knit.

Brian scored some Noro Silk Garden (not on sale) as his birthday present from me in a fantastic colorway, both masculine and colorful, we both got some Classic Elite Miracle on sale, the aforementioned crab sock yarn, he got a couple of other yarns on sale, I bought some magical pink fuzzy yarns that looked so good I almost don't want to knit them and instead put them in a vase. For $20 on sale I was really excited to get all this pink yarn.

The anniversary sale is totally the best time to "stumble in" to Knitting Nation, even though the proprietess does not wind yarn on the ball winder when you buy stuff on sale.

Anyway, our day was not a total bust even though we are still sort of pouty about Flying Fingers not even putting a note on the website that they are closed for Labor Day Weekend.

Check out our whole Yarn Day Adventure at this flickr set!!

*Local Yarn Shoppe

Bunny Hat!

2007-09-05T08:26:00.001-05:00

I have an FO*!

I knit up this hat a couple of months ago when I first purchased the book "Itty Bitty Hats". It is the Bunny Tail pattern. It knit up very quickly, I believe I was finished in about 3 days of off and on knitting, and all it required was a circular size 7 needle** and some 7 double points. I even used STASH YARN. The yarn is Plymouth Encore DK colorspun in a grey and pink and white colorway. Brian and I both bought some on one of our Smiley's yarn riot binges (where you buy yarn quite literally by the garbage bag full). I note that there is a yarn riot next week and I am so not going.

I believe I initially intended this yarn for socks. I double stranded the yarn which resulted in a really pleasant subtle color change. It took less than 2 skeins and I am pretty sure I still have more of this in the stash, so it may still end up being socks.

I was looking all over for the hat, since I had knit it with my cousin's baby Pahtoot in mind and she recently mentioned Pahtoot has outgrown most of her hats. I finally found it this weekend and wanted to add a face, so I made a couple of bobbles out of stash yarn for eyes (embroidered pupils) and a couple of bobbles for the nose and then a short three stitch i cord folded in half for the teeth. I hope I secured them well enough so that 14 month old Pahtoot can't rip off the bobbles.

Rusty was a reluctant knitwear model.

This is Pahtoot at 6 months in the arms of her momma, my cousin. She is sooooooo cute.

I bought a Tulip Cardigan kit and will be knitting it up for her.

In other news, I was extoling the virtues of Ravelry to Brian this weekend and he is now on the waiting list!!
Found you!

* You signed up on Yesterday
* You are #30899 on the list.
* 19406 people are ahead of you in line.
* 202 people are behind you in line.
* 36% of the list has been invited so far

*Finished Object
**At the time most of my Denise circulars were in use so I actually bought the required 7 circular (worth investing in because virtually all of the patterns in the book require that needle and I intend to knit many of those cute hats).

Wild Jersey City Girls

2007-09-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

The first thing that comes to mind when the subject of "wild and crazy times" surfaces is not likely your knitting group. This would change were you to move to Jersey City and knit with these wild ladies.

For example, we went to the Hoboken event for Worldwide Knit in Public Day in June. Hoboken is the next town north of Jersey City and a quick Light Rail trip away. Everyone had blankets and chairs and it was a grand ol' time.

I brought Macy because she is a dog that enjoys fiber arts.

We met a woman who is pictured here using a nitty noddy.

Apparently she spins fiber while on her commute to work. Something about using a drop spindle while she walks to the PATH station, standing on the PATH using a drop spindle and walking to the office from the PATH. I imagine this is not a rainy day activity. You can see video here of using a drop spindle and I am still trying to imagine being coordinated enough to do that while walking and, say, avoiding being hit by a car.

The darkening skies did not scare us off, but they did break up the rest of the crowd. We simply decided to proceed on a yarn crawl and go check out Patricia's Yarn's new digs. One of her store workers gave out 10% off coupons which was definitely an incentive.

Macy approved of the new store and selection of yarn at shih tzu level.

Sue and Babs discussing which yarn to stash.

Barbara, aka Babs, suggested we get lunch and after knitting in public, she ate naked in public. This is a photo of her just after finishing the naked portion of her afternoon.

Sue and Kim just had regular burritos.

Our knitting group doesn't just go for the public nudity, we also do crazy stuff in the restaurant we call our home base. Though the group has existed since January, 2005 (there is another group that has been meeting in Jersey City longer but when we started no one could find anything out about them online) we have only been at Beechwood for about a year. The service is atrocious and usually their pastries are a few days old, but they serve dinner and usually have plenty of space for us. Plus, they don't mind when we do crazy stuff like convince Beth to bring her swift and ball winder and go to town.

We are usually an every other week group, but lately have been going on our "off weeks", too (right, we're getting totally unpredictable). What is funny is we see Beth on our "off weeks" at other groups. Once she was with her moms who knit group and she was with her book group (and about 8 bottles of wine) a couple of weeks ago. I can't wait to surprise her on a Wednesday and see her with her motorcycle affinity group or something.

And I'd like to leave off with a shout out to Spanky, Last One Skeining's betrothed, who totally bought LOS the beautiful knitting bag she is modeling in my below post. She deserves the awesomest boring brown stockinette stitch sweater ever.

Shawl Pin

2007-08-25T21:47:00.000-05:00

Normally I sort of turn my nose up to kitschy add ons to knitting. I mean, I don't know how much accessorizing knitting needs. Ribbons and extraneous buttons are often a turn-off in designs to me. The errant right ribbon and button can totally work. These are rare occasions.

However, I did stumble across this shawl pin (a heretofore previously eye rolling accessory in my book) made especially for the MS3 shawl. Recall that the shawl is in the theme of Swan Lake.

You can find it at the Rosemary Go Round blog. $45 for the sterling silver is a bit steep but it truly does make the perfect accessory for the Mystery Stole. I am showing it here in copper because it sets off a bit better in the photo. It is stunning.

Also, the ball of yarn earrings (scroll down in her post) are ultra cute, too. I think I need to print out her blog and leave it around my house for my muggles to find it.

Mytery Stole 4 Word on the Street

2007-08-24T10:45:00.000-05:00

Check out how beautiful this stole is. It was designed by the mother of Pink Lemon Twist (Melanie, who is totally not a satan worshipper despite rumors to the contrary) who is going to be the guest designer of Mystery Stole 4.

I am totally digging how gorgeous that sample stole is (again, this isn't the design for MS4, obviously, but is her most recent creation). It even has little beaded trees. Definitely not something I would knit to wear, I would knit it for the back of a couch or to frame above something, but I do admit to having a small crush on it.

Vogue Knitting and Trellis Scarf

2007-08-22T11:25:00.000-05:00

last one skeining: Review Monday

(I am experimenting with trackbacks)

I was intrigued by LOS's post about the Vogue Knitting Anniversary Edition. So intrigued that I sent her a sketchy text message asking her to bring it with her to Knitting that night. I foolishly believed she had my phone number in her phone so it was way creepier than I intended my text message to be, by the way. Imagine receiving a vague text message telling you your blog post was "intriguing".

Anyway, she brought it with her and I flipped through and really fell in love with Nicky Epstein's cover project, the floral scarf. She is my favorite designer, and in the last three years I truly do believe the best published pattern in VK has been her floral trellis bag. Even though mine is sitting at home needing to be reblocked, it still pleases me. Though the editors' "update" of that pattern in the anniversary edition was foolish. All they did was change the colors.

So I bought the Vogue Knitting Anniversary Edition, with a special dark silver shadow cast over everything they have ever published. Apparently Target is now selling knitting magazines in Jersey City.

I set to work adding new Nicky Epstein flowers to my Floral Trellis scarf from Scarf Style. I really liked the idea of that pattern (a crochet trellis with roses climbing it) but I hate chenille, and that is the original design, and the cabbage ruffle roses in the pattern were a little too plain for me. Thus, I will create a sort of garden trellis scarf with many different kinds of flowers, mostly by Nicky Epstein as I also have her Knitted Flowers book.

This is my work in progress, modeled by Bear, my surly Himalayan cat.

So surly he won't even look at the camera for me.

I plan to go to the magic trimmings stores on 6th ave in NYC for some interesting stamens and beads.

Mystery Stole

I know you are all curious about where I am with the Mystery Stole. Well, I am still just where I was three weeks ago, which is tinking row 99 so that I can redo it correctly. I feel slightly better about it since the Yarn Harlot recently confessed her lifestyle doesn't agree with MS3 knitting either.

Since they released the last clue on Friday, I am feeling a bit like a fat girl running the Boston Marathon. Everyone is crossing the finish line and I am at mile marker 4.

Never fear, Stephanie, you are not "desperately behind". There's still a knitter (or 16 according to Ravelry) who are still trying to catch up to Clue 1.

Last One Skeining is really First One Doing Everything Else

2007-08-21T22:55:00.000-05:00

This is my friend Last One Skeining. We met through our knitting group 2.5 years ago.

The photo above features us shopping at our LYS, Patricia's Yarns. I believe that bag was expensive.

LOS has her fingers on the pulse of the knitting community and is, perhaps, the coolest knitter I know.

Example the first:

I am all "Hey, I really wanted that pattern booklet about knitting robots that came out 2 years ago."

LOS: "Oh, I totally have that!"

I still don't understand how LOS managed to get it since practically the day the designer was published on Knitty I got on her wait list and then she never published again.

Example the second:

She has been on Ravelry since May 31, 2007, mere days after the launch of the site and 2 months to the day prior to when I got on. I joined the wait list once she joined and testified at the coolness.

Example the third:

She is knitting her way to a knitting masters degree. Okay, not quite, but she is doing the Knitter's Guild Master Knitter Level One which I think is perhaps the coolest knitting thing ever. Okay, maybe that is because I am one of those people who loves learning/craves advanced degrees and the combination with knitting is just a geek knitter's paradise.

I have also decided to adopt her accomplishment as my own. For example, I am already practicing the phrase "Well, my friend is a Knitting Guild Master Knitter Level One and so..." to gain knitting cred. Dude. It will work.

Example the fourth:

Tonight at Knitting I say: "I was stalking around Ravelry last night looking for a men's sweater pattern for Dan and I found Brenda Dayne had knit a really amazing sweater for her son called and Urban Aran sweater..."

LOS: "I totally have that pattern booklet."

Now, COME ON. How is it that everything cool in the knitting world, LOS knows about already and has beat virtually everyone to it? I am thinking that she's keeping a hidden source from me. Like an editor at Vogue Knitting she lunches with or something. Seriously, who knew about Ravelry in May?

Regardless of her secrets, she is totally MY pipeline into the newest and geekiest stuff in the knitting world and I am grateful for it. I believe tonight she was telling me about a knitting podcast about a woman with seven kids. I also cannot wait until she reveals to the world her secret intarsia project. Stay tuned.

Mystery Stole 3

2007-08-03T07:52:00.001-05:00

Recent discoveries:

I am stuck on row 99 of the Mystery Stole (halfway through tinking that row because I ended up with too few stitches because I screwed up on the beginning of that row).

I am also discovering I have little time to knit lace in solitude with my current lifestyle.

For the same reason it takes me awhile to get through books, since HP7 has taken me over a week to read and I am on page 500.

Thusfar I have been really forgiving of myself about the slow progress on the Mystery Stole. Yes, I am on the last row of Clue 1. It has taken me a month to get through Clue 1. Four other clues have been released while I finish Clue 1. I attribute this both to my slow knitting ways and the lack of solitude and focus neccessary to master this art. The knitting itself goes quickly, it is the screwing up that eats up most of my time.

Anyway, Clue 5 and the theme of the stole were announced today and even though I am totally forgiving myself for the whole Clue 1 slowness, I am SO ANNOYED I am not on Clue 5 already! The theme of the Stole is Swan Lake and she is having us knit a freaking wing into our stoles! How cool is that?

I love short row shaping. WHY AM I NOT ON CLUE 5 YET?

Oh well. I am going away on Sunday and probably won't pick up MS3 for 2 weeks. The whole pattern will be released by the time I even get to the wing.

I did decide what I am going to probably knit in the dirt. The answer is robots.

Made it!

2007-07-31T08:02:00.000-05:00

I got invited to Ravelry yesterday! They are definitely plugging through the waiting list (about 1200 per week). I already found another knitter that employs a Shih Tzu knitwear model and am really impressed at how easy it was to plug in my projects (I have yet to enter a yarn they don't already have in their database, which makes it really easy to not have to hunt for ball bands). I am the only one on their knitting the Building Blocks blankie. And one of hundreds knitting the mystery shawl!

I uploaded some older projects into Flickr and can't wait to clickie some more through other people's FOs and WIPs.

Woo!

What to knit in the dirt

2007-07-27T15:45:00.000-05:00

As of 4:44 pm today, 191 people in front of me on Ravelry.

I am going back to Michfest this year. The last time I went, in 2005, I knitted eight womb dolls in pink and blue and used them to barter in the Barter Mart.

They were a big hit and it has been requested that I make some more. I only have green and black in the correct weight of yarn, so unless I do an emergency yarn mission, I am going to just have to go with those colors. I might make one or two.

I am unsure of what other mindless projects to bring with me. Last summer, my beach project was making baby bibs. Beaches have similar conditions to this trip--lots of sitting near dirt or
on dirt when the knitting takes place. Needs to be lightweight and portable and needs to be mindless.

I have plenty of kitchen cotton, but for some reason the idea of making a bunch of dishcloths isn't as interesting. I might flip through my copy of One Skein and see if I can rustle up an easy project in a washable yarn. I have a whole box of "one skeins".

When on longer trips, I have a tendency to bring a "car project" and a "there project". The "car project" (lately the lego blankie) tends to be bigger and more involved--thus more interesting for the drive. The "there project" is usually small and easy to whip out and knit on when having company. Since space in the car is at a premium I am thinking about just bringing socks. But ever since my "socks fit for a giant" fiasco I have been sort of resentful of sock knitting.

Startitis is rearing its ugly head, I think.

Ravelry

2007-07-26T21:02:00.001-05:00

Okay, I am totally drooling over Ravelry. I am staring at my yarn stash while I work out on the elliptical machine (which faces the stash) and thinking "I can't wait to organize all this stuff on the internet" and also "what am I going to do with that funky colorway of dk weight I bought on a whim, I bet I can find that on Ravelry."

Right? I can't be alone in this.

I have actually thought of going over to Last One Skeining's apartment to peek at her Ravelry account and see how cool it really is.

Anyway, so Ravelry ponied up with the best feature EVER.

As per their website:

July 14, 2007 We have been buried in 'where am I on the list?' emails! You can now look up your position yourself.

And then you clickie clickie and you enter your email and poof!

Found you!

You signed up on June 5, 2007
You are #7063 on the list.
261 people are ahead of you in line.
13583 people are behind you in line.
32% of the list has been invited so far

Yesterday I had 411 people in front of me. I am thinking this bodes well. If the site is as delightful as this little feature, I will be in social networking heaven.

Also, this is my Alien cat watching over row 85 of my mystery stole. I had to frog. It was like doing open heart surgery and I just don't want to talk about it anymore.

I love this so very much

2007-07-25T15:52:00.001-05:00

MUST. KNIT. THIS. CREATURE.

gesundheit

Rumor and Inuendo Abound!

2007-07-23T21:19:00.000-05:00

I received the following Special Notice from the Mystery Stole 3* yahoo group (I am not signed up for the emails--there are hundreds per day!)

There is a theme guess that was posted on Ravelry** this afternoon
regarding the theme of MS3 as being related to Dante's Inferno and
tying in with some apocolyptic and Satanic symbols. I just wanted
everyone to know that this is purely a guess and not at all correct.

For those who are concerned about this, please don't worry, this stole
and design are completely appropriate for just about any situation
(Christine has pointed out that monster truck rallies, mud wrestling,
and water slides might not be appropriate) . Not all brides will want
to wear it, but that reason will be revealed when I reveal the theme,
and some won't be bothered by the theme.

I just wanted to reassure everyone because I know some people are on
digest and won't get these messages for a while and some of you who are
on Special Notice might see the original post in Ravelry.

Don't Panic, Melanie

I suppose if I were the designer of a mystery being knit by over 4,000 people I would want to squash any slander I came across but honestly, who is going to believe that someone is leading that many people on a blind path into satan worship? Being fairly new to the lace knitting game, I was looking at this more as a learning experience and less of a true "mystery" in terms of deducing her theme. I have also read some of the theme ideas on the yahoo group and they are as hysterical as they are diverse.

Now, Melanie did give fair warning in the pre-project show notes that the shawl would not be appropriate for a bride. It never once occurred to me that the ultimate design, other than being pretty, might result in something out of a horror movie. Though, if I were leading the blind and this kind of rumor popped out, I might make a quick chart alteration for the next clue (clue five is due out a week from Friday) and make some letters that spell out something more mischievous. "Go Fug Yourself" might make a nice surprise.

*I am on row 85 and did not bring it along this weekend for our road trip. However, at some point tonight I managed to add an extra stitch. I sense some quality time with the shawl coming soon to "read my knitting" and repair it. This is the most tedious thing about lace knitting--fixing errors!

**I have been on the waiting list for Ravelry for 2 months and still haven't received my membership. I am dying to get on there!!

Too hot to be outside

2007-07-16T12:54:00.000-05:00

When the summer heat bears down I am disinclined to leave my house for anything other than going to the beach.

On Sunday I actually bailed on plans with my friend/blogging partner Kelli because it was really far too hot to do anything but sit inside. It was a blogger meet-up at a bar in Brooklyn and I know the Cattyshack was not going to be air conditioned (or at least not well-air conditioned). She was understanding and I went back into the world of working on my Mystery Stole.

I am still not done with Clue 1, despite the fact that I got about 50 rows done this weekend.

I learned that, when knitting lace, I require a table at standard table height so that I can read the chart (as opposed to coffee table height) and I need something heavy enough to hold down two sheets of paper taped together and keep my place on the chart. Right now I am using a CD case but I am hoping to find something longer but not obnoxious, like a legal sized notebook. As a lawyer, I think casting about in my office should yield something.

After some trial and error, I set myself up in a corner of the living room and brought down a table from the yarn room upstairs. I would knit up there (and might relocate eventually) but there is no sound system and it needs better lighting. Baby steps.

Check out my sexy new knitting bag.

I did install my first lifeline (at row 50) and solved two major stitch issues, so all of that progress, while not the major speed with which some of the knitalongers are doing on the yahoo group, still makes me very proud of my MS3 stole progress.

Since I felt bad for snapping at Dan or demanding complete silence in the living room, when he wanted to watch the Singing Bee I consented and switched to my baby blanket. It is coming along really quickly and I hope to have it finished before the end of the summer.

I just found out this morning my great aunt's funeral is in Maine. Dan and I will take a road trip up there on Friday. With all the time in the car, will I be able to knit lace? I am very compelled to keep working.

Speaking of my car, Jack Knife Winston just got a new accessory:

The lighting is crappy, but it is a pink yarn ball and needles from Lisa Knit! It arrived in record time and she charges actual shipping costs. Not bad for $6.97. I really hope no one steals it.

Bandwagon

2007-07-13T15:55:00.000-05:00

I am jumping on the Mystery Stole 3 Bandwagon. Or, more accurately, I am already on the back of the cart, rain colored yarn in hand dangling my feet off and clutching my circs to my chest everytime the wagon hits a bump.

I haven't photographed my (slow) progress yet but I am totally digging it in full knitster geek way.

It has been awhile since I've embarked on something truly new and challenging*. While I have knit lace before (an entire blanket in lace pieces and the Perfect Pie Shawl from Weekend Knitting) and I just worked something very simple in laceweight mohair, I have never knit a complicated lace project on laceweight mohair. So I thought I would take on the challenge.

I cannot say enough about how awesome the support of over 4,000 knitters working on the same project at (relatively) the same pace is. I went to Patricia's Yarns in Hoboken to get some laceweight for the project and she suggested Rowan Kidsilk Haze. Or, rather, dangled it in front of me like a snake charmer and I was powerless to its influence despite the hefty pricetag.

To the right is a photo of Macy, the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe at Patricia's Yarns. They were very hospitable to yarn loving Shih Tzus who keep their paws off the merch. Macy helped another customer pick a color of yarn the last time I took her over there.

Then I brought it home and started feeling really insecure about the yarn choice. First of all, I have never had a lace project that did not specify the needle size. The ball band and the pattern gave a range of needle sizes, so I didn't even know where to start. Plus, I picked a color other than the recommended black, white or shades thereof. When I start getting insecure it eats at me and definitely puts a damper on the excitement of beginning something new.

So I did a quick search of the messages in the Yahoo group and lo and behold, not only had this question been asked by someone "Omigod I am using Rowan Kidsilk Haze and I don't know what needle size to use! OMG help!" but it had been answered! By list members and the pattern designer, who suggested size 7 needles and assured that it would work.

What a relief!

In addition to that, I am completely loving the resource links! Someone posted a video tutorial on how to do the crochet hook bead adding technique. So much easier than I thought!

Someone posted a link to a description of how to add a lifeline!

Someone posted a link to how to correct a lost yarnover!

And even though I haven't yet needed to add a new ball, I learned about the Russian Join technique.

Clearly I love to learn new things. For the mystery stole, however, I do need to remember not to bring it to my knitting group. My first missed yarn over on Tuesday night requires a bit of surgery.

*As lawyers, when Brian and I first began peeking under the skirt of the great monster that is the knitting universe, we wanted to learn as much as possible and mount our knitting challenges in quick succession. Now that the initial fires have cooled a bit, I had to scale back my thirst for extremely challenging knitting because it is hard to not screw up hard knitting when you don't devote huge chunks of time to it.

Knitting Worry

2007-06-27T20:11:00.000-05:00

My fiance and I headed to the Thousand Islands region on the St. Lawrence River (along the boundary between Upstate New York and Canada). It was meant to be a quick, relaxing jaunt to visit my mom's BFF and her husband at their summer home. Maybe with some sightseeing via boat and some fishing.

We left Friday morning and Dan had a sore throat and a slight cough. By our evening hike around the island he was feeling really poopy. And after a night of coughing fits and not being able to breathe very well in the morning, we decided to go to the emergency room. My nurse friend Kelli suggested that the quick decline might be pneumonia and she was right! After being admitted to River Hospital emergency room very quickly, we sat and waited for breathing treatments, steroids, benadryl, 2 "big dog" antibiotics and robitussin with codeine to start working. By 4:00 PM they decided since Dan was on 4 Liters of O2, he was going to be admitted.

I am very good in a crisis. My real melt down didn't happen until we were all done with the hospital two days later. Since Dan was finally able to get some rest and was sleeping in the Emergency Room, I sat by his side and instead of actively worrying, I knit. I concentrated on my child's cardigan in Lion Brand Cotton Ease (the newly relaunched Cotton Ease). It was a nice easy garter and stockinette striped pattern and very good worry knitting. Especially good for stopping on a moment's notice waiting for updates. (Pattern was a free Lion Brand flyer next to the new display of the relaunched Cotton Ease. I will admit that the baby girl on the pattern flyer--not the same kid as on the internet pattern--was too cute to avoid wanting to knit the cardigan.)

I added inches and inches to this sweater meant for no one in particular, the colors just spoke to me and the size was sort of determined by what I got out of the gauge of the needles I had on hand when I started it.

When we found out Dan was not going to go home Sunday like we thought, I spent the entire day in the hospital keeping him company. And I knit my current "epic project", the building blocks baby blanket from Vogue Knitting on the Go I. I am using Red Heart Super Soft something or other I got for $3 a ball when I started the project two years ago. I got quite a bit done on the intarsia house block while trying to concentrate on Dan and not on the fact that I was terrified that when I had to leave for the night he might have a catastrophe and, well, all of the things you knit instead of worry about.

The blanket is knit in squares--the filler squares are meant to look like lego blocks and the intarsia is meant to look like the images are made of lego blocks. The blanket is worked in great strips and will eventually get a garter stitch border.

Luckily, Monday he was finally able to breathe room air. With six prescriptions, we headed home. I continuing to work on the building blocks blanket and the cardigan now that I've caught the bug (but am breathing deeply and coughing in order to avoid developing pneumonia). Macy, The Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe, is doing her best to nurse me with sweetness.

Knitting Progress!

2007-06-10T18:19:00.000-05:00

It has been about a decade since we last updated, but Brian and I are still knitting and making yarn mischief. It is simply interspersed with other things.

Brian's BF* Boomer totally bought him a Wii for Christmas. I go to their house to play Wii a lot, which is very fun, especially since their TV is 110" and also they sometimes put up a screen outside to accommodate the projector. Imagine playing Wii on a 220" TV. Boomer's hobby is buying and doing awesome things with gadgetry.

Right, so back to the knitting content.

In March I accidentally made a sock for a giant. I discovered the error in my gauge while I was on a trip to Philadelphia and someone mentioned how enormous it looked. I had already turned the heel and tried it on, careful of my DPNs and... well, they were right. I don't know what happened with the gauge when I changed from 2x2 ribbing but it was horrific. I just wanted it to be stockinette on the feet because I don't like ribbing around the foot.

The yarn is gorgeous Trekking XXL in Color 39, light greens and browns. I am either going to rip it out entirely or rip it back before the gusset decreases but basically the sock is in purgatory in my yarn room closet until it thinks about what it has done and I get over the shock of a sock gone terribly wrong.

So what did I do while I was in Philadelphia on a Sunday and my only traveling knitting project was traumatic and could not be relied on for joyful companionship on the 1.5 hour drive back to Jersey City? I made my fiance and my friend Zoe stop by an LYS** so that I could get a new project. Nothing soothes the wounds of a knitting project betrayal like new yarn. And some addi turbos, just to see what all the hype is about.

We stopped into Loop, which thankfully maintains reasonable hours on Sundays and I bought one of their sample projects, a bright pink ruffled shawl that was a surprisingly easy pattern. I was drawn to the shawl immediately because of how vibrant, girly and fun it was. It reminded me of something I would have died to have found in a dress up bin when I was a little girl. And, let's be honest, shawls like this are the evening wear equivalent of a feather boa. I wear those on stage and I wish I could wear them every time I dress up. (See the dress-up appeal of the shawl modeled by my friend Anne.)

The yarn is Alchemy: Yarns of Transformation in color "Promise--Evening Pink". It was $34 for 423 yards. The shawl is knit on size 13 needles and I did the bigger size shawl--60 stitches at the widest point of the triangle, with a five row repeat ruffle border. I don't think I can attest to the transformative nature of the yarn, but it was a pretty quick, straightforward knit. I did a great deal of the project while on jury duty, which meant I replaced the addi turbos with my Denise circulars to pass the muster through the x-ray machine. I still have some yarn leftover, and I am thinking I might add another ruffle to it just because I can. I mean, it is already bright pink, I don't know if being too showy is even a consideration.

I wore it with an evening gown I had sitting around in my closet to a benefit for NoLose, "My Big Fat Queer Prom" in Asbury Park, NJ. And I had yet another brush with fame. My knitting was totally featured in the Village Voi ce.

Since it isn't the greatest shot of the FO*** (though it is a great one of me singing "Before He Cheats" to Zoe), to the right is another one of that night, with me and my friend Sarah.

I think we can all agree my shawl should have another ruffle.

We recently moved because my fiance decided he was tired of yarn falling on him from every crevice in our old one bedroom apartment. He said that I can have a "Yarn Room" as long as yarn isn't in any other room in the house. I packed everything in a hurry so I have bags of WIPs*** and UFOs***** as well as garbage bags full of my stash. It is really horrendous.

I am trying to organize it all and, in the meantime, I've gotten through some of my old WIPs. I will post some more FO pictures later, but suffice it to say that after 2 years sometimes you just have to finish something. I have this real knitterly ADD****** and I am not a very fast knitter, so it makes me tend to have way too many objects on the needles. I think at one point I had fifteen. I am not exaggerating. When I first started knitting, I was whipping out FOs far quicker than I have time for now, so I think that might have justified the stash and project piles a little better.

Brian is also knitting. His BF really likes alien motifs, so he made him a Rockin' Alien Illusion scarf from Stitch n' Bitch. His BF manages an apartment complex and actually took that WIP and showed it to a resident and claimed to be able to knit and "lookie and the illusion where an alien pops out of nowhere"! I believe this managed to endear the woman to Boomer in a way that simply being his charming self could not. And believe it or not, this is not the first person I have known who lied about being able to knit. I sincerely do not know why one would do that when it really is as easy as logging onto www.knittinghelp.com, but whatever floats your boat.

Brian is now making Boomer some alien socks from Knitty.com. This is his progress OTN*******. I found some glow in the dark yarn the other day and I believe he will duplicate stitch some decorations onto it when the pair is complete. He is using Lang Jawoll and the 2 circular needles method. I think he has bent his needles and am not sure if it is due to needle quality or the effort of fair isle sock knitting. Or perhaps he just doesn't know his own strength.

*Boyfriend
**Local Yarn Shoppe
***Finished Object
***Works in Progress
*****Unfinished Objects
******Attention Deficit Disorder
*******On The Needles

Knitting Rockstars and Yarn Bus Tornado Tragedy 2006

2006-10-09T16:47:00.000-05:00

Last December, Brian and myself took a trip on the Yarn Bus (the vehicle of choice of the Offical LYS* of the Totally Knitting Universe) that we haven't blogged about yet.

We met Vickie Howell, host of DIY Network's Knitty Gritty. She was taking the Yarn Bus up to Flying Fingers to sign copies of her new book. Kevin and Elise, the proprietors of the shop, had advertised her trip so it wasn't like we were googlestalking or anything.

We boarded the yarn bus at 9 AM, myself sleep-deprived from a night of debauchery an hour and a half south in Philadelphia, Brian a bit bedraggled from lack of coffee. Vickie had spent the night previous partying it up with the cast of Saturday Night Live (at the after party and at the after after party). Vickie Howell, you understand, is truly a knitting rockstar.

Brian and I are big fans of Vickie's show, mostly because we love knitting and with a DVR, you can choose which episodes to watch. It's nice to learn a new technique from the TV instead of a book, as I am a more visual learner.

I immediately asked Vickie when we could start asking questions. She confessed to her previous night's activities and said as long as I didn't mind a sleepy response. We asked why on her show they pronounce it "Knit Oh Meter" instead of "knitahmeter" like it is spelled. We asked who does her styling since Brian and I often wondered aloud where she might have obtained a certain shirt or flashy pants. She answered all of our questions with a sense of humor.

We were the only Vickie fans on the bus, the rest of the passengers were just happenstance riders who either didn't have cable or had never watched the DIY network.

After spending the day with us at the store and on the ride home, I think she appreciated our sense of humor and even agreed that we could be knitsters on the show next time they tape. We were also enamored of her publicist.

Brian bought both of us copies of her book, New Knits on the Block, as I was about to turn 27. I don't think either of us has knit anything out of it, but our intentions are there. It's a fantastic book if you have kids to knit for. Lots of great knitted costumes, and the mermaid costume would make a great scarf stitch pattern.

The photo above is myself and Brian with Vickie, modeling some of the samples of the work in her book.

This weekend, Brian and I are planning a return trip to Flying Fingers. Imagine our disappointment to learn that we cannot ride the Yarn Bus because of a freak tornado incident in Westchester County!! We don't get a lot of tornados in the New York Metro area.

Instead we're bringing Macy (my Shih Tzu and Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe) and our significant others. Brian sent this email to Kevin, Elise or both in anticipation of our arrival:

Dear Kevin, or Elise, or Webmaster, or Any Combination Thereof,

Hello. This is a communication from Brian, the boy knitter of the knitlist. You may recallm e from such times as that time my best knitting pal Bevin and I rode the yarn bus with knitting superstar Vicki Howell, or that time when Bevin and I rode the Yarn Bus with a reporter from the New Yorker, who rocketed our names to international stardom with her piece on the Yarn Bus that featured quotes from Bevin and me.

As always I come to you with very specific knitting needs. Kevin, Elise, Webmaster, or Any Combination Thereof, I proclaim here publicly that my sock fetish is not yet sated. And I find myself in need of some very specific sock yarn for a very special project.

You see, Bevin recently found a pattern for argile socks that feature a skull and crossbones. Here is a picture.

As you might imagine, Kevin, or Elise, or the Webmaster, or Any Combination Thereof, I MUST MAKE THESE SOCKS WITH ALL DELIBERATE HASTE! Recall, if you will, my penchant for alterna-cute and my disdain for Cutsie-pie. I therefore come to you. I need 5 skeins/or hanks of solid colored sock yarn to make this project sing. 2 black, 1 white, 1 undecided color that won't get lost in the black, and 1 other undecided color that won't get lost in the black and won't look silly next to the first undecided color that won't get lost in the black. I'd like to buy this yarn from you. Two more parameters to throw into the mix, I'd prefer the yarn I buy be machine washable and probably sport weight or lighter. Do you have something available for purchase from your website that would be suitable?

I found some wildfoote, which I adore, but it's not solid colored and therefore best for other projects. I've not been able to locate anything else that might be good for feet.

In the alternative, do you have anything in your store that might be perfect? Bevin and I have been talking about paying your store a visit soon, we want to see the new digs, and are positively in mourning over the Yarn Bus Tornado Tragedy of 2006. Don't worry, we'll just drive this time if you don't have anything mail order. Oh, Kevin, or Elise, or the Webmaster, or Any Combination Thereof! Can you help me?

Love, Brian

It was Brian's birthday on September 13 and I promised to pick up the tab for some luxury fibers as a present. Additionally, he moved in with his BF**, Boomer, and destashed. I sold a bunch of his yarn on ebay and we split the profits. Our $34 each is rolling into fiber purchases.

As a post script, Brian and I have been neglecting this blog for a lot of reasons, mostly because he got a boyfriend and changed his lifestyle, and I got a happy relationship and changed my lifestyle. We both still knit, but not as obsessively as we once did. Which is, at once, a good thing for both of us, and also sad. We miss our nights delightfully yarn shopping or watching reality television and ignoring the increasing piles of clutter and mess growing in both of our apartments.

I discovered Flylady to help me keep my house in order. So I am no longer creating amazing FOs*** every 2 days, but my house looks much better.

*Local Yarn Shoppe
**Boyfriend
***Finished Objects

Bitch and Bitch and Knitting

2006-03-08T11:54:00.000-05:00

I just got another email from Yahoo Groups about the Jersey City Knitting group's description.

When I started the group, I listed it on www.stichnbitch.org and called it a stitch n bitch. Because, you know, that's what it was.

When all of this copyright/trademark infringement stuff happened (good background on the Brenda Dayne podcast, Episode 10 and also Free to Stitch, Free to Bitch) and I was initially notified by Yahoo Groups about their cease and desist, I changed our description to st*tch n b*tch. Right? I mean, the message is clear but the trademark is not infringed upon.

Anyway, apparently that's not good enough for the bastards at sew fast sew easy, so I've been demanded to cease and desist. So now we are a bitch and bitch and knitting group.

Since I am totally on a self-imposed yarn diet because I bought two garbage bags full of yarn at back to back Smiley's Yarns Yarn Riots, and my stash is eating me slowly but surely, I decided to spend some of my yarn budget supporting anti-sew fast sew easy establishments. I bought an embroidery kit and some patterns from Sublime Stitching. I am making a "More Cowbell" tea towel for my good friend. She used to MC with me in our drag troupe and three years ago we had a group of drag kings act out the "More Cowbell" skit from SNL. It was a miracle. Anyway, she and the other founder of the troupe moved back to Columbus and she's turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I thought an embroidered gift would be really nice.

I have been having a hard time getting it together to knit lately. I've been working on a pair of socks on size ones for 6 weeks monogamously, but only three or four times a week, rather than my customary every possible moment knitting. I am a totally polyamorous knitter, with about 12 projects going at once because sometimes you're in the mood for different things. But socks are both mindless and challenging, small enough to take anywhere and the yarn is so gorgeous I can't help myself. Plus, I intend to wear them before it gets warm outside.

But for some reason whenever I pick up my knitting I feel guilty that I'm not doing other things around my house or brushing my two new persians or playing with Macy.

ALF, so named because he looks like an alien life form.

Bear, so named because he's enormous with fur. I might spin his fur, which is weird but it's so soft and there's so freaking much of it.

And, Macy, for good measure. Still my number one girl.

Anyone else feel "Knitter's Guilt"?

Uncle Brian hasn't been knitting because he has a new boyfriend.

Several Knitting Sudden Intuitive Leaps of Understanding

2005-12-02T15:22:00.000-05:00

Things around the old Totally Knitting Universe have been a little slow. Brian hasn't picked up his entrelocks in awhile, and instead is plugging along at a new scarf style project with his blue bamboo yarn and he completed a test knitting project for Annie Modesitt of a hat and scarf that were the bane of his existence because of his desire for them to be 100% perfect. His nephew Xander was born and so we have to do some sort of ticker at the bottom. I may start a ticker for my dear friends Holly and Lois, who are inseminating this week.

I finished the triangle scarf from "Hand Knit Holidays". Because it was so glamorous (and didn't take so much time to make) I donated it to a charity raffle but didn't get a good FO pic of it. I also did a knitted womb for my friend CMolieri, who recently lost her right fallopian tube in emergency surgery. That womb was modeled after her own organ, without the right fallopian tube. She loved it.

In these meditative times of mine, I've become very addicted to knitting "Cross Lane Cables" from Scarf Style. It's on Peruvian Tweed, which I got from Flying Fingers that time we took the Yarn Bus and were featured in the New Yorker. It is a really soft, amazing yarn and looks awesome in the cross lane cables pattern. It's a 7 row repeat, reversible cable pattern and was quick to memorize and is so relaxing and fun to do. Being a DK weight yarn on size 5 needles I anticipate finishing sometime in May, but I really love doing it so who cares?

I've been trying to get around to starting my holiday sweater for Macy, which I will enter in the Knitting Curmudgeon's Christmas Crap-A-Long competition. I have the design done, complete with obnoxious knitted border designed from Nicky Epstein's Knitting Over the Edge. That book has some really great borders but if not used with an intention to be classy you can go really over the top. It is my hope to really work that to my advantage. The prize for the Crap-A-Long is four friggin' skeins of Koigu!

Luckily, Macy is only 11 pounds so sweaters for her are less than a week's project.

As mentioned in a previous post, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me two months ago. I have had the requisite "Oh please, I want to take you back, I regret breaking up with you" plea from her (only after I went on a date with someone else) and have reacted with the Sudden Intuitive Leap of Understanding "We weren't right for each other, anyway. Please move your shit out of my apartment and take your cats."

The break-up has lead me to several knitting Sudden Intuitive Leaps of Understanding.

KNITTING Sudden Intuitive Leap of Understanding ONE

Knitting, for me, is a huge stress releiver. Brian found some study that said knitting is as stress relieving, minute for minute, as yoga. It is also sort of an escapism thing. So for the last few months, when I was in an unhappy relationship, I was knitting all the time at my house. If I wasn't going about the business of getting ready for work, cooking or taking care of the dog I was knitting. Which meant that I wasn't cleaning my house. I let the clutter and bullshit pile up to really outrageous levels. Now, ladies, I was never filthy. My dishes got done regularly and I am fastidious about the bathroom. But clothes and knitting bags and camping equipment from August... The friends that came over always got some excuse about the state of my apartment, but it was what it was and it was ridiculous.

About a month out of the relationship I realized what I had been doing and spend six solid nights straightening, sorting and cleaning out my apartment. No knitting was done, unless on my lunch hour at work. It was hard to forego the knitting but it was important and I am so much happier at my house without the mess. I also sorted through all of my yarn (bags from various yarn binges all over the place) and probably have about $100 worth of sugar and cream. One can only have those moments of "OOOOH! I don't have THAT color yet," so many times. I mean, I have enough balls for about 70 baby bibs or dishcloths. I am insane.

Life is so much easier with all of my SWIPES* and UFOs** in one place, and knowing what yarn is in my stash.

KNITTING Sudden Intuitive Leap of Understanding TWO

Knitting gifts on a deadline is pointless and takes the fun out of it. I have decided to adopt the mantra that I never knit on a deadline unless there's a monetary reward. Crap-A-Long is a constructively monetary reward, see above re: 4 friggin' skeins of expensive yarn. I successfully finished two gifts for Christmas last year, one to my ex's mom and one to her neice. I was literally finishing them on Christmas Eve and that is lame. I want to knit for fun and if I give it to someone, they should be grateful and joyful and I'm not going to add stress to something that should be as awseome for me as for the recipient.

KNITTING Sudden Intuitive Leap of Understanding THREE

Break-ups make SWIPES. When that girl broke up with me, I was literally, at that momemnt, knitting Leroy (her dog, the little white chihuahua) a dinosaur sweater. I had to finish it, it was too adorable not to. Plus, I loved that dog and it was the first week after we broke up, I was still in love and wanted her back.

However, at the same time I had been working on a Christmas stocking for her 3 year old nephew. I was (still am) about halfway done. It is a miracle in fair isle. One section of it (trains, he really likes trains) even has four colors stranded at once. I was thinking originally I was going to finish it and send it to his family, along with one I planned to do for his sister, the 18 month old neice I adored. But I just can't do it. Again, there is the knitting on a deadline thing and also it's just sort of weird now. It is really too bad I already knitted her nephew's name into it in fair isle. Otherwise I'd finish it and gift it to someone else or donate it to charity.

Another SWIPE that will always be a SWIPE is this dress I was making for her neice. This was a SWIPE mostly because it was a dress knitted in DK weight yarn done in seed stitch. I realized about halfway through one side and already done with the intarsia mouse that I really. hate. seed stitch. Don't know what to do with the yarn, it's a really pretty blue cotton. I may finish the dress one day when I manage to learn contininental style knitting, as I hear it makes ribbing and seed stitch a breeze, but until then my english knitting ass is only using seed stitch in borders and accents.

After the Sudden Intuitive Leaps of Understanding

In addition to cleaning, organizing my stash and my life, and having knitting Sudden Intuitive Leaps of Understanding, I have taught two friends to knit. One is my coworker Eldy who is totally getting as obsessed with knitting as Brian and me are. And the above-referenced CMolieri is working on her first scarf. It took both me and Brian to get her going, but she's chugging along.

Brian and I went to Smiley's Yarns Manhattan YARN RIOT. Yes, it was called a Yarn Riot. It was okay. I liked our first Smiley's haul better, back in February when we went to the sale they had at their Queens store. We left with garbage bags of yarn both times, but at their Queens store they sell yarn by the ball and we were able to get a lot of colors and various projects prepared. I had wanted to get cheap felting wools (I have a Nicky Epstein project with 12 colors I want to start) but instead wound up having to buy yarn by the bag at the Manhattan sale. Don't get me wrong, we spent $175 between us and ended up with a big stash enhancement and garbage bags. But mostly I got some camel, burgundy and cream colored skeins of Lion Brand "Kool Wool" for making more masculine scarves ($6 per three ball bag), we split a bag of blue worsted that is a really pretty cornflower color ($10 for 10 skeins), we split a bag of white 100% cashmere ($60 for about 600 yards in four hanks), I got a bag of a chunky pink wool for making a gorgeous '40s style wrap from Wrap Style and girly scarves ($25 for 10 skeins), Brian got an afghan's worth of Lion Brand Cotton Ease, three bags of red and one of yellow ($10 a bag?). And we each bough a bag of six skeins of Jamie yarn, one in baby blue one in lavender for the babies forthcoming in our lives ($6 per bag). Brian was outraged that there were only three options for sock yarn. We felt like Santas leaving that yarn riot with garbage bags over our shoulders.

Not many people were smiling, even though the place is called "Smileys". And there were moments we were scared of the rioters. One time Brian poked a finger into a bag to feel the yarn inside and it turned out that the bag belonged to a woman who was standing with her back to us. She was good natured about it, though you could tell there was a glint in her eye about how outrageous it was that her merchandise was poked by another shopper.

Hopefully our next update will have photos and some FOs. It's time.

*Stalled Works In Progress
**Unifnished Objects

Progress Report

2005-10-31T13:39:00.000-05:00

As has recently been reported here at the Totally Knitting Universe, I am making Entrelocks from a pattern found at Men Knit. The pattern calls for 6 different colors that go nicely together. 6 balls of sock yarn, for the record, is about enough to make 6 socks, so I convinced Bevin that we should go in on this endeavor together, that we could split the materials and the cost and still have plenty left over in the end.

Oh, what a plan!

I was impatient and started mine right away. Here's a progress pic.

I mentioned to Rose that I'm sort of glad my first piece of entrelac is in the round because it has the modest advantage of not requiring the construction of left or right triangles. Just three shapes instead of five. Since this photo was taken I've progressed a little further to the point where I'm ready to start the heel flap.

Which I will do as soon as my super speed emergency project is complete.

Ladies, let's talk about Lion Brand Homespun.

Now, I hate it. It is difficult to work with, sheds great fistfuls of fiber, the boucle bunches up on the working yarn as you knit and it pills the instant you bind off. Think I'm exaggerating? Just try it yourself.

I don't buy it.

This does not mean that I don't have garbage bags full of it in my home, however. A friend who moved recently gave me great heaps of it so she wouldn't have to move it. I tried to decline, but my friend, well she's insistent. Bevin and I have been puzzling over what to do with all this stuff that I now own but don't want to use. She's in favor of me putting it on ebay and auctioning it off. Other ideas have been to get giant needles and use it to make that mythical afghan that uses like ten strands of yarn at once so we can donate it to Katrina victims who need something to snuggle with and don't care if it pills because winter is coming and all they have is a damn tent and would be happy to have a crappy blanket to cover their naked bodies as they try to stave off death for just one more day.

Well, in the midst of that conversation I landed a great new job and gave notice at my current position and I have been recieving cards and little tokens from my co-workers as I pack up and prepare to move on. One of these co-workers, the sweetest and most wonderful woman ever, presented me with a card and a nicely wrapped package containing three skeins of Lion Brand Homespun.

It is bad form to throw away gifts, and none of my knitting friends would have accepted it as a re-gift, so I decided that I absolutely must turn some portion of this into a scarf to give back to her. I could consider what ever was left over as waste, or as the 11th strand of that afghan I mentioned and which is spoken of so frequently on the purile Knitlist. I also decided that I had to have it done before I leave this job two days from now on Wednesday.

I recently came into a little miracle called Handknit Holidays which features a very interesting and very easy scarf design for heavier weight yarn. The pattern, Snowy Triangles," is a series of garter stitch triangles up the length of the scarf done with increases at the start of each right side row and a decrease at the border between triangles. Simple, and very effective.

I cast on for this scarf in Homespun and am racing along, trying to finish in the next two nights. I'll let you know how it goes. In the mean time, here's a progress pic on this project as well.

Yes, the image is upside down, which is not my preference. But Bevin is hosting the image and I have to prevail upon her to fix it. In the photograph the triangles are difficult to see, but not in person. I hope that I will be able to get a few more shots that highlight the design better before I give it away. And this Homespun business will all go away soon. Since this photo was taken the scarf has doubled it's length. I continue to barrel toward completion.

Bevin cast on the same scarf in some yarn from her stash. You can see the stitch definintion more clearly here because hers is not a boucle. The second triangle is just starting to form on the right side. You get the idea.

Of course, hers is far more glamorous.

Happy Howloween

2005-10-26T23:08:00.000-05:00

Darlings:

I saw a sweater in a picture ages ago online and said "I MUST make this for Leroy". I could never find the pattern. Until one day I happened upon the pattern book in a random yarn store in Nyak, NY. I snatched it up and cast on Leroy's sweater. This was right before my girlfriend broke up with me, but I decided to continue knitting it because Leroy's been my step dog for almost three years and he didn't break up with me.

Plus, look at how f*ing cute he is:

I'm not sure if my exGF has plans with Leroy for halloween but I feel like this dino sweater can be year-round. It is versatile.

The pattern book, for those playing at home, is Patons "Another Dog's Life" and it's one of those mini pattern booklets. It calls for worsted weight yarn. Basically, you knit a turtleneck sweater in one color to your dog's size and use duplicate stitch (which is basically sewing, which is great if you're a quilter but I prefer knitting and using intarsia) for the polka dots and knit up the ridge as a garter stitch type triangle thing that you sew on. It was pretty easy. Fits him perfectly in the Petite size.

I bought Macy two costumes this year for halloween, both of which were labeled "Small", one was too big (from Old Navy) one was too small (from Target). So, feeling inspired by the dino sweater and emboldened to try to actualize a vision, I made the following sweater from my own design.

I added the waddle at the last minute, which is why it's only in one photo.

Tomorrow I plan to give her a bath and a trim and take more pictures. I really want to do her justice.

I hope to use this sweater as a prototype and submit it somewhere for publication. It was really fun but time consuming to put everything together.

Up next, sweaters for Dewey and Johnny's new dog, Zoey and Erica and Amy's new SHIH TZU, Pluto. And a gaudy holiday masterpiece for Macy.

FO*s for Feet

2005-10-24T21:10:00.000-05:00

As you may have read in the New Yorker, February was Sock Month.

We totally failed to make socks in February, but that doesn't mean that we failed to make socks.

Behold!

As modeled by the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe (TM), Macy, we have completed socks!

I started first, with some Koigu premium suchandsucha sock yarn at $11.50 per skein, so a $22 per pair of socks plus NY State sales tax. I loved the colorway and wanted a real sock yarn to start off with. Brian had bought the book "Knit Socks!" in February for Sock Month and I borrowed it and went with Starter Stockinette as the basic sock pattern. I was in and out of those socks, even with an 8" leg in under two weeks. Totally fun and easy to understand pattern, this book (along with some Knitty Gritty basics Brian retained) really helped me through the new techniques. Even this trick with twisting knit stitches when you pick up the gusset. Brian failed to mention this until after I had knit the gusset on one of the socks. I have holes at the gusset on one sock but not the other. My left foot is eternally grateful to Brian.

Brian saw me do those socks and was all hella jealous so he grabbed his Lion Brand Magic Stripes (one skein = 2 socks at $4.50 on sale at AC Moore in NJ, no sales tax) and whipped up his own Starter Stockinettes. His legs are shorter on his socks but I have to say it makes more sense the way he did it. He went with 5" instead of the pattern prescribed 8".

Brian is very pleased with his socks and thinks they are comfy and warm. Unfortunately there was a little laddering around decreases for both the gusset and the toe. This is something Brian intends to work on in future sock projects. Brian's socks are totally cheaper but still completely snuggly and still cheaper (Brian keeps making me type cheaper).

I liked knitting with my expensive and nice sock yarn better, though. The debate rages on.

The coolest part about the pattern in "Knit Socks!" was that the heel flap is worked with a slip stitch that makes the varriagated yarn look woven and marvelous and provides extra cushioning and wear for the heel.

Brian has already cast on a second pair of starter stockinettes in more Magic Stripes (the bitch bought, like 5 balls at the same time--he totally gave me one when I begged for it, this free ball of Magic Stripes will totally offset the $22 plus NY State sales tax pair I'm wearing this very minute) and worked all weekend on the Entrelac Socks from the recent issue of Men Knit Magazine. I saw this magazine first and knew, instantly, Brian would be drawn to those socks. Progress pics shortly.

Brian has completed almost the whole leg and it looks super cool. Brian is truly a master sock knitter/entrelacker (entrelacer? entrelocker?). Brian is also super gay, because he chose (with my urging, since I agreed to pay for half of the six skeins of sock yarn neccessary so that I could also make entrelocks) rainbow colors for our sock yarn.

If you want to knit socks you totally should. Easy enough to fly by, hard enough to keep your interest. They rule.

*Finished Object

Shih Tzu Style

2005-10-11T12:27:00.000-05:00

I recently bought Wrap Style. There are only like 3 ponchos in the whole thing and the wonderful capelets make up for those awful and ugly afghans for wearing. I especially bought it for this wrap.

I am thinking about making a book called Shih Tzu Style and soliciting "Innovative and Inspiring" designs from top designers, all to be modeled by various Shih Tzus, including my Gorgeous Macy Poo Pie. Isn't she sweet?

While I was at the AC Moore in Seacaucus the other day, I found that they have not only expanded their yarn selection but also included some knitting magainzes and LYS* quality knitting books. Totally awesome. I came across Creative Knitting November edition. It had some mediocre designs inside, but what caught my eye was that the cover had a Shih Tzu modeling knitwear.

That Shih Tzu is WEARING A PONCHO. For crying out loud!

Such a waste of a shih tzu modeling opportunity.

******

What follows is some correspondence regarding our next trip to THE OFFICIAL LYS* OF THE TOTALLY KNITTING UNIVERSE. You can see why, other than their passion for and quality of yarn we totally heart Kevin, Elise and their Yarn Shoppe. Even if they discriminate against pets who aren't celebrities.

Dear Kevin and Elise or Both:

Hello to you! This is Bevin, of Bevin and Brian. You may remember us from such times as we rode the yarn bus with a reporter from the New Yorker magazine and were featured in the Talk of the Town section. I actually just got a Friendster message from a guy I was a Resident Advisor with at UC Davis who I haven't heard from since 1998 who totally recognized my name when he read a back issue of the New Yorker his mom sent him since he's working in Amsterdam for Mattell. Small world, right?

Anyway, Brian and I mentioned in the New Yorker article how February was totally going to be sock month. Well. We didn't quite make it. I cast on my first socks in August and loved loved loved the process so much Brian was right on my heels. We are about to post the products of our joyful labor on our blog ( totallyknitting.blogspot.com).

As you may be aware, sock knitting is a bit of a cultish type activity because it is so fun. I knitted my first pair out of koigu sock yarn and loved the colors they had to offer. We want to know if you offer that at FF just for our own edification. I'm sure you have lots of other great sock yarns available (I seem to recall Cherry Tree Hill being in stock last time we came up). We are ready to purchase more sock yarn (even though Brian went a little nuts with the Magic Stripes from AC Moore, but I'm trying to get him into real sock fibers). Brian and I are also a little liberal with the monies for such fine sock yarn, since he just got a new job offer from a big firm almost doubling his salary as a librarian and my girlfriend of three years just broke up with me and I need to console myself with consumerism, including knitting to distract myself.

Tell me, Kevin or Elise or Both, do you have room on the Yarn Bus (early shift) for two avid sock knitters on Saturday, October 22, 2005, returning on either afternoon return trip busses, preferably the earlier. We are also free on Sunday, October 23, 2005 but prefer Saturday so that Sunday can be Sock Day. You see what I'm saying.

Hope you are all doing well and work on the new storefront is progressing smoothly so that you can expand your yarn offerings even more. We are waiting with baited breath for the Grand Opening.

Love,

Bevin (and Brian, via proxy)

P.S. We got your email about the Martha feature of the Yarn Bus too late to DVR it. Do you have a tape of the episode available along with a tv and vcr at the shop so we can watch it when we get there, or, as an alternative, do you know when it will be rebroadcast?

Dear Bevin,

Ah, yes, I do vaguely remember you...
Oh, no, right, Bevin of Brian and Bevin--you got me all confused with the order there :)

Actually, I remember you as Bevin of totally knitting universe where so many people have been turned on to Flying Fingers Yarn Shop--thank you very much.

Of course, we have room for you two on the Oct 22 bus. Are we picking up in the usual not Union Sq almost Chelsea location?

All the prospects for wonton consumer spending are as thrilling for me as they are for you!

Hey, I thought of Brian the other day thinking of crocheted skull motifs (not sure how well you can see the photo):
[included in original]

Waiting to see you again with an.........................ticipation,

-Kevin! "Feel the Yarn!"

[an additional email as an addendum]

I believe I'd prefer "wanton spending" not "wonton spending" since we don't accept food as legal tender. Geez!

Dear Kevin:

I am so glad that you received our request and can accommodate us on the Yarn Bus. I did, of course, mean the almost Union Square but mostly Chelsea stop (and still plug that there be a 33rd street stop near the PATH station).

I am disappointed about the wonton spending. I was hoping to knit up some wontons using knitty's pattern (http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring03/PATTdimsum.html ). Do you and Elise have a cat?

Also, speaking of patterns. This may be a long shot but I was wondering if an 11 pound Shih Tzu would ever be invited into the hallowed halls of Flying Fingers and on the Yarn Bus? She does not eat yarn and doesn't pee inside. Not this time around but some other time I want to film my audition tape for the Martha Stewart Apprentice show and am thinking about trying out in tandem with my dog. Oprah is the highest powered woman in the whole world and brings her cocker spaniels everywhere she goes. Plus I think Macy would really dig Irvington on Hudson.

I am also glad to see that people are patronizing the Official LYS of the Totally Knitting Universe. They know good taste.

And the skull crochet was hard to see. Perhaps you have this item in person that you could show us when we get there? I can pass the pattern to my friend Jackie and demand she crochet it for me.

xoxoxoxo,

Bevin

That's a tough one. We do occasionally allow dogs in the shop--when it's not too busy and with the caveat they must leave if any human complains--people have allergies, fear (justified or not), kids, their own dog that doesn't want to get along, etc. However, its tough to kick a pet and their owner off the bus, so we have to say no. Sorry. (Yes, we would allow Oprah's and it's not fair...) Thanks for understanding (hopefully).
-Kevin

*Local Yarn Shoppe

Emergency Knitting!

2005-10-06T09:40:00.000-05:00

I went to Columbus last weekend to go to a housewarming party at The Crocheter and her partner's new home. They used to live in Philadelphia and now it's a 10 hour drive.

Anyway. I learned to knit on size 15 needles using fun fur type yarns. It hid my mistakes and knit up really quickly (though was super expensive). Once I started really knitting I would use smaller yarn and smaller needles and it would take me SO long to finish something. Anyway, I have this really warped sense of timing with knitting projects.

Recently I found this interesting furry style yarn, Bliss by Carons, for $2 a skein from a super mega Rag Shop sale. Since I needed a cute and furry scarf to begin the winter with, I decided to do the Snuggly Neck Warmer from Knit Scarves! This is basically a garter stitch scarf with a hole in the middle to slide your scarf through. Forgetting how quickly garter stitch fun fur scarves knit up, I managed to finish my scarf by the time my ride got to Columbus.

This was devastating, knowing that I was going to have to endure an 8 hour return trip with no knitting. I made a big stink with people asking if I could go to a yarn store sometime. Those plans fell through and I was thoroughly depressed about it, especially since I had been told about a new store that had recently opened called "Wholly Craft!" during their party. I just like saying the name. No one could confirm whether they had yarn but I thought it was worth a shot when I saw it, literally as we were driving out of town. Turns out it is a store that sells some handmade crafts and also THRIFT STORE CRAFT SUPPLIES. Including a few baskets of old acrylic yarn probably from estate sales and pre-balled. Oh, the sexiness of $3.00 for 5 balls of yarn! Oh the joy of $1.50 size 9 needles! Oh the miracle of a knitting book from the 70s for $2!

Needless to say, I had an interesting and occupying project for my 8 hours. I did this vertical striped hat shaped in short rows. I will post progress photos, right now it looks like half a hallowig.

Brian was really enthusiastic about the pattern book. There are some crazy AWFUL poncho designs and also a pair of socks with knitted on shoes. Seriously.

**********

I love the Knitting Curmudgeon! She is fantastic. Not only snarky but good knits and you can't beat that.

The best blog thing I've read recently, though, has to be the bitchy comments about Crochet in a recent post, with defensive comments by the designer. Holy shit.

"Crochet that isn't too tacky. A novel idea, but impossible."

FOs* MO FOS!

2005-09-29T08:46:00.000-05:00

Oh, fellow knitting bitches, I've got some fos* to show you.

First up, Mandarin Moonlight. You will recall the following from previous posts.

Many of you may recognize this as a scarf modeled on the pattern entitled Midwest Moonlight [from Pam Allen's Scarf Style]. My scarf is called Mandarin Moonlight because it is being knit from Southwest Trading Company's Bamboo in firey red. This yarn is actually made from bamboo, which as you know is native to China and a healthy snack for pandas. Also the Chinese are totally red communists. The name change seems inevitable when these facts are considered. I'm sure you all agree.

Here are some photos of the finished scarf being modeled by Macy, the official spokes dog of the Totally Knitting Universe.

This was a lot of fun to knit and I really enjoyed working with the Bamboo. I bought more bamboo, this time in electric blue, but haven't yet decided how to use it. The scarf became a gift to a dear friend who moved away. Of course, I had the distinct impression that if I hadn't graciously gifted it, said friend would have stolen it. Had I not continually reassured her that the scarf would be hers I'm certain she would have mugged me for it in a dark alley.

Next up, a baby blanket I made for my soon to be born nephew, Xander. I call it the Stained Glass Sampler. It is also being modeled by Macy, the official spokes dog of the Totally Knitting Universe.

This blanket is based on a sampler found in Vogue Knitting On The Go's Baby Blankets II. The design has the blanket done in a single color, but I wanted something more vibrant. This was knit in Lion Brand Baby Soft, because expensive fibers should never get so close to spitup. It features a lace border and I'm very proud of myself for enduring all the crochet necessary for the seaming.

I effin' crocheted that bad boy together!

Currently OTN** Building Blocks Baby Blanket (again for Xander) from Vogue Knitting on the Go's Baby Blankets.

Stockinette Starters from Knit Socks! in Lion Brand Magic Stripes, denim color way. Hella cool.

*Finished objects

**On the needles

Peth Tagged Us

2005-09-23T12:14:00.000-05:00

I am only doing this because Peth tagged us. And she is sexy so I do what she says.

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

The article is not technically about us, but we are none the less featured extensively.

Totally referring to our New Yorker announcement.

I tag anyone reading this.

Possum Yarn?

2005-09-05T13:59:00.000-05:00

Possum Yarn?

I find possums creepy. They have rat-like tails. And are not even cuddly-looking. There are some in my neighborhood and one time I saw one sitting in my neighbor's window bars, right next to his front door. If I walked out of my door and saw a Possum sitting in my window bars I would scream very loudly. I vow to you that even if I am eccentric enough to seriously consider adopting 2 chickens as pets, I would never ever knit with Possum yarn.

*********

As there are a few babies being birthed into my life, and last summer after giving birth to her second child, Ava, my GF* Haywood's sister in law told me they don't really need clothes for their kids but they always need bibs. Since babies vomit and drool a lot, I can see how that is true. I imagine it's sort of like how when you have to do your laundry at a laundromat, you have to have a lot of underwear to meet the demand.

Since I enjoy the Knitting and since I discovered how incredibly long it takes to knit a baby blanket, I thought that knitting bibs would be a good idea for making fast and easy gifts for friends. Cotton yarn is totally cheap, too. I got a pattern online for a basketweave baby bib, made it fast but was unhappy with how they had the strap designed (crochet, ugh) so I modified it a bit for my own means. I have since embarked on a journey to create a fabulous and well-designed line of punk rock baby bibs.

While I'm working out the kinks, though, Ava will be the recipient and test subject of these bibs. Her parents were delighted with my first attempt, pictured below.

Ava (13 months old) with my GF modeling the finished product.

Close up of design.

I didn't plan this out well enough because I was trying to figure out how big to make it, get the row and stitch dimensions, etc... And since I don't belive in frogging or starting over or whatever on something where the yarn cost $1.50, I just kept going and learned for next time to make the chart bigger and not to screw up the spacing between letters or whatever. But the straps rule and that's what I was really trying to work out. Haywood offered "constructive" criticism, that I might just use a longer piece of the fuzzy part of the velcro (I sewed on velcro to attach it) and that way the size is adjustable and can grow with the baby.

I think this is a good first attempt and will, of course, continue to update with my progress.

*GirlFriend

Yarn Art

2005-08-29T14:58:00.000-05:00

The new LYS* is called "Yarn Art". Brian just emailed me this update:

While passing by on the bus this morning I saved Yarn Art's phone number to my phone. I intended to call them to ask when the grand opening would be and to suggest a grand opening sale with deep discount prices in case they hadn't already thought that one up.

Unfortunately, at this time the phone number is not being answered by other than a machine whose recording does not indicate the grand opening date nor the plan to offer deep discount prices upon opening.

I will keep you updated on this matter as time passes.

Brian

P.S. The subtitle on their sign is as follows. "Home of Fine and Novelty Knitting Yarns." The complete snub of those crochet bitches has heartened me muchly, Bevin. Muchly.

*Local Yarn Shoppe

Totally Incredible News!

2005-08-28T17:10:00.000-05:00

There is a new LYS* opening up right near Brian's house either this week or next week! I hope they are open late one evening each week and not "late" like 7 PM, either, so working people who aren't bartenders or teachers can't ever actually make it there.

*************

Wrap Style is out soon, which is yet another affront to our anti-poncho sensibilities. First Debbie Stoller trying to glamorize crochet and "make it sexy" and now Pam Allen trying to make FUCKING PONCHOS "stylish". I am dubious about this one but will still look to see if there is a miracle within all of those afghans with squares in the middle in that book.

While I was at Michigan, I went into the crafts area (basically a shopping mall of mostly faaaabulous crafts and some other crap) and wandered into a booth selling cute crinolin skirts and asked if they had one in my size (a 24). The woman in the booth said "No, but I do have THIS!" and she whips off a rack with a flourish a FUCKING PONCHO.

My friend Megan started laughing OUT LOUD. I said, "You are trying to sell me a PONCHO for $100!!"

"Oh, but NO! This is so much MORE than a PONCHO. It has this! It's a CAPE!" She drew her hand across the slit in the front with a flourish.

It is a FUCKING PONCHO WITH A SLIT. Which makes it a wrap, which can be cute in some instances that are entirely isolated and never ever worth $100. It's a PIECE OF FABRIC.

Anyway. They had a different styled cape/jacket thingy that was on display for $1100.00. US Dollars. It had a lot of bead work on it, though, and individual strips of ruffly fabric between the beading. It was quite beautiful and looked intricate and I noticed someone had purchased it by the end of the week. This was far more than a piece of fabric.

*************

In other, knitting related, news, I finished "My Constant Companion" in March and felted it at my mom's house. So it's long overdue for a post but whatever.

This was the first bag I ever felted. I used Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride in (insert fancy name for) red and (insert fancy name for) black.

The purchase of the pattern was reasonable and fast and it came in a nice plastic covered sheet thing so my (pattern destroying paper eating) cat wouldn't eat it. And I learned a lot about I Cord finishing and made my first I Cord for the strap (though I recommend doing 2 or making a wider strap because it is a really heavy bag. I followed the pattern but mine is way bigger than the ones in the photos so maybe next time I should make the sides shorter.

It took forever to knit (months) but it was a great project to have around the house as the 18 inches you simply knit in the round was a perfect brainless knitting circle/being at a meeting project to keep along where distractions don't really matter.

The pattern does not give the design for the pocket they used, so being the punk rock knitting girl I am and wanting a tough knitting bag, I ganked a skull chart I'd liked on the internet and used that, cutting off the top part of the head.

Since the pocket was fair isle I had to felt it longer than the cords or the bag, but it all worked out and how cute and marvelous is my knitting bag??

The pets often sleep on it, too. Which I guess is a testament to the cuddliness of Nebraskan Sheep.

*Local Yarn Shoppe

The Latest Outrage

2005-08-16T09:27:00.000-05:00

Go Ahead and Click Me.

I can't believe this. This is bullshit, people. Bullshit.

Which Womb?

2005-08-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

For those of you who do not know, every year during the second week of August, there is a womyn's music festival in Michigan. Yes, womyn with a "y". Normally I do not spell women this way but referring to the Festival, I defer to their spelling. It is a week long event of concerts, workshops, super tasty food, camping and about 6-10,000 womyn. Mostly lesbians. It is a totally different experience going from being a minority in a male cuture to an entirely female culture and being the majority. I view the whole week as girl scout camp for grown-ups.

Anyway, a cool part about MichFest (one of the many) is that many traditions exist created by the womyn who attend the festival every year. Not officially scheduled/programmed events are sustained year to year by the attendies. One of them is the Barter Mart, where womyn bring crafts, books, clothes, anything that they wish to barter with other womyn. I decided that this was the perfect place to bring Womb Dolls. They only take about a night to make and are really cute and cuddly. And a womyn's festival is all about the girlparts, really.

I made 8 of them, in the pattern specified yarn (Cascade 128) in both pink and blue. Blue for those who are of the more masculine presenting or perhaps people whose wombs make them blue, even just for a couple days per month. Everytime I think of my Blue Wombs I sing "Blue Womb, you saw me standing alone..." to myself.

In conjunction with my pile o' wombs, Knitty is having a contest. They want pictures of an item produced of a Knitty pattern in an unusual situation. What is more magical than a pile o' wombs with a shih tzu in the middle of it?

I have decided to submit one of the following photos of Macy, the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe (TM).

Choice #1

Choice #2

Choice #3

I need to make this decision by Saturday night, so I need y'all to comment NOW on which one you think should go to the Knitty Editorial Staff.

sweetjesusIHATEponchos

2005-07-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

clicktoseeforyourself

"This photo shows me wearing a poncho adapted from the Lion Brand Homespun free pattern listed on your website and my pet rat Nibbler wearing a crocheted cape I made for her. It's basically a granny square with a tie in the front to hold it on. The amazing thing is that she likes to wear it. I often crochet her little blankets for her cage from the scraps I have left over from bigger projects. Lion Brand yarns must taste great, because she doesn't just nibble on her cage bars, she nibbles on the blankets!"

JesuschristIcan'tevenstandit! That'saneffingRATPONCHO! FORFUCKSAKE!

An Open Letter to Taco

2005-07-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

Below please find the following review that Brian and I consulted, via Yahoo! Movies, prior to viewing the film Batman Begins.

Disapointing by taco10407@sbcglobal.net (movies profile) Jun 16, 2005 82 of 1235 people found this review helpful

First of all I reserved these tickets for about ten people and was exited to see this new movie. But it was so boring, slow and long. And the action, what action? there wasnt any except like in a chase scene and at the end on a train, but thats it and the movie is about two and a half hours long. The effects were really good too, well since there wasnt much action there wasnt much effects to fill out. Second I didnt get it, the story kept going from one persons view to another. And the villains, theres like three but they dont even do anything, and the most popular villain in the movie is the scarecrow and he is only a henchman. The acting was pretty good Christian Bale and Katie Holmes werent bad. But what really ticked me off was that the characters kept talking and talking and no action was done. It just carried on too much you dont know how much until you see the movie. Oh and another thing when Bruce/Christian wears the Batman suit his voice changes it sounds kind of like Clint Eastwoods voice which made it even cheesier. So much hype but it just failed to deliver. "Man" such a dissapointment wait for War of the Worlds of Fantastic Four.

Here follows our open letter to Taco regarding his review.

Dear Taco10407:

Hello to you!! We are writing in response to your Yahoo! Movies review entitled “Disapointing [sic]” dated June 16, 2005 and regarding the film Batman Begins.

I am Bevin, you may recall me from such antics as that time I bought yarn from LadyOfyre on ebay or my appearance in the New Yorker magazine when I totally rode the Yarn Bus and reached national fame. This letter is being jointly written with Brian, who you may recall as the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist or the other person on the Yarn Bus with Bevin that time when the New Yorker profiled them and they reached national fame.

It is difficult to absorb the complexity of a review as intricate as “Disapointing [sic]”. However, noting your dismay regarding the “lack of action” in Batman Begins, Brian and I saw the movie and counted the number of action scenes. Taco, we must say, we were surprised to note, especially after your review stating that there were only two action scenes (“except like in a chase scene and at the end on a train”) that there were no fewer than 22 action scenes in Batman Begins. This is, of course, assuming you count the time when Katie Holmes (aka Joey from Dawson’s) totally slapped that boy—twice—in the car for being a mofo. That was actiony in that it totally involved contact and violence, but no special effects. Also, it was the closest to sex we got in the movie. Purists may say this was not an action scene, in which case there are still 21 action scenes.

Some action sequences that may have slipped your mind when drafting “Disapointing [sic]” were that time Bruce Wayne got into a fight with 12 prisoners in the Asian Prison. Which, by the way, we feel is a sign of a good movie these days, please see Bridget Jones 2 for example, where she is totally in Asian Prison. Or that time when Bruce Wayne blew up the dojo in the Himalayas and almost fell off of a mountain. Or the time when he did that thing to that guy and then did the spotlight and then we had a bat signal. And there’s also that one time he is dangling that guy off the roof and yelling “swear to me” and stuff. There were many more, and that slap scene if you buy it as action, which we do.

Also, regarding special effects. There were a great deal of special effects shots, though some may have been seamless to your discerning eye. One may say the hallmark of a good special effect is that it does not seem like a special effect and becomes expendable to the viewer as the reality of the film’s shoot. For example, didn’t it hella look like it was a real train system going into that tower, every time they showed it and not just the time when Batman [editing this so as not to spoil the film for potential viewers, but let me assure you this is no doubt the second action sequence you refer to in your review].

And how about those maggots on the Scarecrow’s mask? Those weren’t actiony but, come on Taco, did you really think that cute boy would let so many maggots near his pristine visage and especially his mouth?

Taco, we theorize that you either did not see the same movie we did, or that you might have been high while viewing it. The fact that the movie kept changing from one actor to another indicates that the point of view was omniscient and not first person and that they were telling a story instead of playing a video game. This is called a plot and is a very useful tool when one is trying to move along a movie and make the actiony elements even slightly believable.

The one thing we totally agree with you about, Taco, is that Christian Bale channels Clint Eastwood as his Batman voice. We both would have gone with something more Darth Vadery but that’s us.

We certainly hope your other nine friends thought this was a fantastic action flick and enjoyed the fact that it was plot-driven.

Perhaps next summer Vin Diesel will make a movie without a plot and only action just for you.

See you at the movies?

Bevin & Brian
http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com

Old FOs and a Problem

2005-07-09T21:20:00.000-05:00

First, a couple of FO**** pictures I found in my stash:

I finally finished Haywood's* valentine's day wristband. Here it is modeled by Leroy, the brother of the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe, Macy, who was in the backseat during this photo shoot.

The wristbands are in Debbie Bliss Cashmerino. (I bought the Debbie Bliss before I knew that the namesake made the mother of the proprietrix of the Official LYS** of the Totally Knitting Universe cry.) There is going to be another one, using black as the background. I used the pattern from this woman's blog, but modified it a little bit. Three false starts on this one. I used the first try, a wristband that was literally three inches too small, to make a cell phone cozy for myself. I also tried it on DPNs*** and completely failed. I made a knot, not unlike crochet. Anyway, I used size one needles, which is a size up from her pattern, and used dk weight yarn and she used fingering. There was a whole thing with getting the right gauge. Either her husband's wrists are super super skinny, or she knits way looser than I do.

Second FO is the CA Dishcloth I made for my mom so that she remembers the state she is in every time she does dishes. You can't really see CA in it, but it's there.

My problem FO is the rose trellis bag I made from Nicky Epstein's pattern in Vogue Knitting Winter '05. See the knitalong here. This is my finished bag. (Not too long to knit but a shit load of sewing.)

It looks funny. Like when it dried it didn't dry well formed or something. Brian thinks I should get it wet with really hot water and stretch it into shape over something (like a trash can) and let it dry that way. I'm sure there's a better solution. Any ideas?

*My GF.

**Local Yarn Shoppe

***Double Pointed Needles

****Finished Object

It's a flat knot shaped like a bag

2005-07-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

When I let my mom know I was knitting she immediately put in requests/demands for many things. Things that will take me years to complete. She actually said "I would like 10 or so knitted grocery bags."

10. Bags. I have knitted two bags, both to be felted, and both took me about three months to make.

I began the cotton knitted bag from Knitty and got about five nights into it and realized it would take me about 6 solid weeks of work. The pattern is tough, the stitch isn't easy to do, especially with cotton, and I just knew I didn't want to put the kind of time into a cotton bag that this pattern called for.

I then decided to succumb to the crochet, because it is fast (relatively) and allegedly easy. I have only done one crochet project, a chain stitch trellis scarf I haven't finished the flowers for yet. I only had to decipher one term in that pattern, though. So I did some online research, got a few bag patterns that would work for groceries, sat down and completely didn't understand the first line of the pattern. I didn't have internet access and didn't bother looking anything up, I just tried to figure it out based on a couple of cursory crochet explanations in one of my pattern books.

Needless to say, I am free forming a bag based on some chain stitches with a double crochet (much help from this site which has video explanations, the photos and illustrations in books did not help me) loop around where the bottom meets the sides. Currently it is big enough that it would make an awesome/ridiculous garden hat for one of my drag characters.

Brian has given me endless shit about this, so, it remains the position of the Totally Knitting Universe that Crochet is an Inferior Fiber Art (TM). But mom will have a belated birthday gift with installment one of ten crochet grocery bags. (I really want to try to make an onion grocery bag next.) She thinks she's getting an afghan she has to piece together herself. In the bag I will put some goodies, like the several dishclothes I've knitted her (another request), which include the states of New Jersey, California and Texas. As well I will put a travel coffee mug with a picture of her favorite cat in it.

Anyway. I am not a fan of the crochet as a form to make something pretty or marvelous, except in rare instances. But for ease of use and quickness, it makes a good side project with the hateful Anny Blatt maus jumper thing I'm knitting. (See below entry.)

Also, this girl makes awesome crochet monsters which are the rare instance when crochet is cute.

Anny Blatt is Expensive, Therefore Hateful

2005-06-18T15:16:00.000-05:00

There is breaking news here at The Totally Knitting Universe. Brian's sister, aka the Incubator of the Official Fetus of the Totally Knitting Universe (TM), has been informed of the gender of the newest member of their family. It is a boy!

Brian and I know the name already, but I do not think that this is public knowledge yet. We are calling him "X" and have planned several knitted items with this letter incorporated.

Now that we know this crucial information, we can make color appropriate choices regarding X's knitwear. While in Oklahoma recently, visiting X and his Incubator, Brian picked up an Anny Blatt book of patterns for tots (I cannot find it online, or there would be a helpful link). Everything in there is a miracle. We are very excited to knit a whole series of cow incorporated fashions. As some of you may know, I enjoy farm animals and have a fondness for chickens. Cows are a good second.

One of the patterns, a little pink jumper with mice on the pockets, is going to be the knitted birthday present for Ava, my GF's neice. As some may recall, I knitted her a set of booties and a hat, photos of Ava modeling this knitwear available in the FO gallery.

Today, since this is the first lazy Saturday in a long long long time (weddings, weddings, drag shows, weddings, trip to Toronto, weddings), I did some numbers crunching online to determine which totally washable and totally not expensive yarns I plan to use for Ava's jumper and X's various cow clothing. I have a newfound crush on LionBrand Microspun and sort of want to use it for this jumper, but I'm not sure if it's too shiny or slippery. It is quite soft.

In a completely unrelated note, I've been annoyed at my lack of ability to find grown-up colors (i.e. not pastels) in DK weight acrylic yarns.

Long Weekend

2005-05-31T11:13:00.000-05:00

Someone put the long weekend to good use. That someone totally has two new FOs*. Details and photos to follow.

*Finished Objects

Stained Glass Sampler

2005-05-16T14:03:00.000-05:00

Hello to you!

I have been very busy with my Sex Library project, but I wanted you all to know that I am still here and still knitting. Bevin has been all tied up with her boss who has lost some of his charm when a few of his secrets were revealed. This has been the source of much rage and gnashing of teeth.

Regardless since it has been a couple of weeks I wanted to give you some progress report photos of the project that has taken my full attention over the past 7 or 8 weeks. As you may recall, I have a niecephew on the way. I am very excited by this. I want very much to be that uncle who drops in with a live bunny and then leaves. Or a drum set. You get the idea. I want to be the most loved uncle ever and damn the consequences to the parents.

Anyway, there is totally a fetus out there that is related to me so I wanted to make it a blanket. A special magical blanket of joy and sherbert colors. I opted for a sampler from one of the Vogue Knitting On The Go Baby Blanket books. It's not with me here at work right now or I would provide specific details regarding publication and designer. I promise to leave a comment tomorrow with that information.

I note here that I have been so excited about the pending arrival of the OFOTTKU* that for the first time in my knitting life I have allowed all my other projects to become SWIPes** and I have worked on this virtually nonstop for almost two months. The only exceptions have been the construction of three wombs.

The patern called for the sampler to be done entirely in one color, an exercise in texture and lace. Bevin has also begun the same sampler and she has opted for the single color method. Hers is being done in a very lovely lavender. I may have done the same, but I wanted to make the blanket RIGHT AWAY and I didn't have crucial information like the sex of the baby, the colors of the nursery, the preference of the parents. So I decided to make it from many colors that seemed pleasing to me, which is code for not pastel. I have finished all the panels of the samlper and this past week I finished crocheting (I know) them together. This blanket is done entirely in Lion Brand Baby Soft.

I was very lucky to find the yarn used for the crochet (I know) border around each square and to crochet (I know) the squares together as it is primarily white but contains flecks of the same colors used in the blocks. It matches very well. Also I like that the color way has been named "Carnival".

I am currently about two feet into the 11 foot lace border I will put around the whole blanket. The border is also in Carnival. The border and crochet (I know) make the blanket look very much like a window with many panes so I am calling this blanket the Stained Glass Sampler. I promise more pictures once the border is attached and the ends are woven in.

Perhaps this week I will post something randy to the knitlist? I wouldn't want the knitflamers to forget me.

*Official Fetus of the Totally Knitting Universe
**Stalled Work in Progress

Blogging Philosophy and Recent Correspondence

2005-04-25T13:17:00.000-05:00

(Skip to the bottom for OKC*)

Hello to you!

It has been a while since I updated TK.BS** and I've missed you terribly. But I haven't been ignoring you, certainly not. There've been a number of Bevin posts to keep you interested and who could have believed that the West Coast Editions of TK.BS** would be as magical as they were prior to feasting ones eyes on them? Mostly, I've been waiting for something of note to happen. Something worth blogging about.

Bevin has recently taken me to task for my patience. It went down something like this.

Brian, you really need to updated TK.BS**. It's been like three weeks.

I don't have anything to report. No FOs***, Knitflame isn't talking about me even though I am their superstar, I've not asked any cutsie pie questions on the knitlist. And besides, my campaign for Pope has been taking up all my free time.

Brian, as you know, I support your bid for pontiff in all ways throughout the known universe in perpetuity, but totally knitting is more important to me even than seeing my friend crowned King of the Catholics.

But I don't have anything to say.

Well, you could blog about that needle sale we totally stumbled on at Treasure Island.

The only interesting part of that trip was that you tried to bring both your dogs into the store with you, one in a bag the other on a leash, not that I saved a dollar on my new size US 10.5s.

Yes! Write about that!

Yeah, um. No.

I learned to blog at Diaryland, which was at the time the easiest to use blogging tool on the web. It is free and it's run by a Canadian. This is marvelous if you are new to blogging, but it is also marvelous if you are a suicidal teenage girl with an eating disorder and a tendency to cut yourself. You see, you can put your cry for help on the internet in like a nanosecond and not have to pay anybody for it.

Therefore, diaryland is primarily filled with annoying people who are unnecessarily angsty. And they go into great detail about their angst every single day. I find this to be tedious and unnecessary, so I try to avoid it in all my blogging. Oh, Diaryland has its gems too, don't get me wrong. But I have personally driven enough angsty teens off of Diaryland to know what not to do. Ask Bevin or Peth or Zanti or anyone of a dozen others for the details. (Mention Wesley or the Sparkle Bitch in particular.)

So with all that in mind I invite you to take my poll to help me determine if I've been hopelessly wrong about all this. I will take public opinion under advisement.

~~~~~~

Some recent Correspondence.

By Bevin, signing my name:

Dear Proprietors of Knit New York,

It is widely known that you are the most happening knitting spot in the Greater New York Area. Is your cafe or Yarn Store hiring? I am an advanced knitter and former waiter looking for part time work in the evening and on weekends. Being around so much yarn and coffee would be the ideal setting to make a second job a joy and not an obligation.

Sincerely,
Brian Blaho

Their Response:

Thank you very much for your email.

Can you send me a resume so I can get to know more amount about you?

Best Regards (and of course happy knitting)

Miriam

My resume is not very knitting oriented. It's really very legal and very library and very research and very MENSA and very not retail. My response:

Dear Miriam,

Thank you for your prompt reply to my email. I have attached a resume for you and am certain you will find it instructive. I note here that it has been some time since I worked a retail store front and as a result many of those items are not detailed on my current resume. I would therefore like to bring a few things to your attention. Please forgive the informality and consider this email a cover letter.

As an undergraduate I worked as a bartender at a local restaurant in my home town. The restaurant sold equal numbers of adult beverages and coffee drinks and it was my responsibility to prepare both. I can, therefore, froth milk like the best of them and the creme on my espresso is the stuff of legend. I'm not even kidding; there are epic poems. This employment lasted just short of two years from 1993-1995.

This is not to say that decades old experience is the only thing I have to offer. In my current position as an accademic reference librarian, I interface with the public daily. I enjoy interacting with our patrons and while terminology may differ slightly, I take pride in the high level of "customer service" I provide. I like working with people and what's more I like making them happy.

Additionally, a large part of my role as a reference librarian is instructive. I teach workshops on technology, research, citation, and writing methods. These workshops are geared toward the entire university community from faculty and administration to newly entering students. But even in less formal settings, when I work at the reference desk for example, I teach individual patrons how to use the library's resources efficiently and effectively with every question asked of me.

As for knitting, I am merely a passionate enthusiast. I knit almost every day and always have 6 or 8 projects going at once. Currently I am working on a diagonal ribbed lapghan for my grandmother which I hope to complete by Mother's Day (cross your fingers for me), a sampler baby blanket for my sister who is expecting, a pair of socks for myself (grey wool with a green heel flap and toe) and a lace scarf made from Southwest Trading Co's Bamboo. I can run a swift and a ball winder and have just recently learned the basics of crochet. I intend to put them to use by crocheting the sampler blocks together (instead of icky sewing) for the baby blanket currently in progress.

What I can bring to Knit New York is multifacited. I can bring a high level of customer service to your niche patrons. First, I can intelligently discuss choice of fiber, weight and guage, and yarn substitution with them. Second, I can answer basic questions about knitting, correcting problems or mistakes, pattern abbreviations, and size alterations. Finally, if called upon to do so, I could teach a class on any range of subjects from beginning techniques to felting or whatever your needs may be. Miriam, I could do all of this while simultaneously pushing coffee beverages and over priced pastries. I'm that good.

In terms of my needs I am interested in 10 to 15 hours per week, nights and weekends. I am employed full time, but I would like to supplement my income a little and do so in a way that seems fun, and captures my interests. If your business could use someone like me at this time, I would very much enjoy speaking with you further.

Sincerely,

Brian Blaho

Bevin congratulated me on including an OTN**** while asking for a part time job.

Hey, by the way, anybody hiring?

* Obligatory Knitting Content
** http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com
*** Finished Objects
**** On the Needles

Perfect Pie Shawl and Yarn Store Smells

2005-04-18T12:38:00.000-05:00

I'm such a distracted knitter sometimes. I think I have at least a dozen projects going on currently. Haywood is going to kill me if I do not bang out a rockin' cashmere wristband shortly. Oops.

Last night Brian finished his first womb in one sitting. It was marvelous. It was in reverse stockinette because, as he told me, he really loves reverse stockinette. He's always been drawn to it. It recalls for him the comfort of an inside out sweater.

I recently purchased Weekend Knitting. It had at least ten projects I want to do. Including what is known to them as the "Perfect Pie Shawl" (my own name to be announced) and it is so much fun to knit. It is done in wedge shapes and started out really slow by all appearances (Brian said it was going to take me forever) but once I figured out a system of stitch markers that made it easier for me to make progress without a lot of counting I have flown through 1 1/2 wedges (of 5 total, not including the edging). I may even finish it before it's too warm for a shawl.

I'm using a mohair/acrylic blend I bought at the Yarn Co. of Palm Desert while I was on my yarn binge in California (Palm Desert is just next to Palm Springs in Southern California). It is called Artisan Paintbucket or something like that and it is a really pretty green/pink/black colorway that will coordinate really well with my many pink and black outfits. I have a really hard time when I buy yarn in a colorway trying to figure out whether I like it or just plain having all colors in it be ones I enjoy. (There always seems to be one I hate which is a colorway deal breaker.) Perhaps there is not a lot of call for black and red colorways, but I always see an emphasis on colors I don't enjoy like magenta and blue or something ridiculous. The Noro and Colinette colorways are rockin', but those yarns are cost-prohibitive. I suppose that's the pain of getting something made with good taste?

I liked the Yarn Co. of Palm Desert for their sheer inventory, but it was so busy and bustling it was hard to get help with anything AND they didn't have prices on their yarn. I totally hate that. Please, take the time to price your yarn or make sure your signage corresponds to the inventory on display. Otherwise I cannot make an informed yarn binge decision until I wait for the attention of a staff member.

The Yarn Co. also totally had a slight musty/attic smell to it. I do not like my yarn to smell and I think that it is crucial for a yarn store to have some sort of circulation happening.

The Story of a Fruit Hat

2005-04-15T01:48:00.000-05:00

This is the story of how a project I intended to finish in a night became a five day nightmare...

My Aunt and Uncle had a baby three weeks early. Since I am one of eight granddaughters on this side (all of us are over 24 except for my Aunt & Uncle's 3 year old daughter) I anticipated that it would be a girl. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I am still a little bit sore about this whole "boy in the family" business.

Anyway, "he" was born almost two weeks ago. I started "his" baby blanket a couple of months ago as my train in and out of NYC project. Though I feel as though it's going quickly, there is still about 3/4 to go on the Baby Blanket Sampler from Vogue Knitting On the Go Baby Blankets II in lavendar acrylic. Since this is obviously going to be a christening present (I can finish it by May 22, no problem) I decided it would be nice to acknowledge "his" presence in the family by knitting him a cute hat.

I'd heard so much about Ann Norling's Baby Fruit Hat pattern that I thought it would be a cool thing to make for any baby, especially a wee little one. I couldn't find a cool fruit hat pattern online (the only one I found was sort of lame, with sewn on leaves), so I dropped $4 on the pattern at an LYS.

First of all, how hard is it to find sport weight yarn in hunter green at a craft store? Seriously. Hard. Then I cast on, only to find out the pattern calls for a 16" circular size 6 needle. The smaller size hat wouldn't work on this circular. I used the smallest cord for my Denise Circulars and it was so awkward to try to knit. I don't know what was up with that, but next time I do it I'm just going to start it on DPNs. (Up after the leaves you change to DPNs and I found it much easier.) So I forged on, making it the size larger, for 6-12 month olds, considering that babies get giant in a milisecond.

The pattern teaches you how to make a strawberry using fair isle (without explicitly telling you "use fair isle"--I tried intarsia and had to frog) or a raspberry using bobbles. The problem with that is that the pattern tells you to begin your color work on row 1. Hello? Part of the design of this is that the bottom edge rolls up in stockinette. And it looks crappy because the crappy edge rolls up. This I figured out around my 16th round, when frogging was not an option.

So I just decided to finish my hat and figure out what to do with the edge.

Here's the finished project, I intentionally made it a little less tall than the pattern called for because I knew I was going to edge it.

Haywood had a good time modeling it as a potential Fruit Yarmulke.

So I went to my new favorite edging book, Knitting on the Edge by the Official Favorite Knitwear Designer of the Totally Knitting Universe Nicky Epstein. I picked out this cute edge that had some lacework and did this cool zig zag edge that was very strawberryish. I did a few repeats of it and Haywood pointed out that it didn't really go with the stockinette stitch hat. After an hour of lace work. She was right so I picked something else out. Just a plain, garter stitch ruffle. Can't go wrong with that, right? I even threw in a stripe of green to blend everything together.

I finally finished knitting that border, and began sewing. I hate sewing, by the way. Knitting I love but sewing is boring, even when it involves improving my knitting.

Anyway, I sewed on half the ruffle and I looked up at Brian (this whole project went on for several days because of all this backsliding) and said "I think this ruffle is making this hat look less masculine."

Brian said "You made a beautiful hat... for a girl!"

It made me feel like this:

All of that work, all of that pain, all of those design alterations... As a peace offering to the first boy in the family I make a friggin' girls' hat.

I've now decided to do one hour booties. I just can't drag another one night project on for five days again...

Womby

2005-04-09T17:24:00.000-05:00

I mostly knitted and shopped while I was in California. It was pretty perfect. I'll give you the run-down on the LYSs* I visited in a future post, but first I wanted to speak about a very special FO** I created while out there.

When I first saw this project on Knitty, I knew that I had to make my Best Friend's mom a Womb stuffed toy. Her mom has her phd in Women's Health and, in addition to being a professor of nursing, she also has a penchant for girlpart art. I forget what we saw at the BF's house, but it was totally girl art and we have since made jokes about it.

As you can read about in the Best Friend's diary, her dad has recently been diagnosed with Throat Cancer in addition to Parkinson's less than a year ago. Things are tough for their family right now. I thought this was the best time to drop off the womb, since quite by accident The Best Friend and I were both in our home state at the same time (she lives in Minnesota now).

I did it in the yarn prescribed by the pattern, Cascade 128. I bought $12 DPNs*** out of bamboo because 1. I got them at the LYS in my home town and 2. I knew knitting pure wool on these would be really nice. And it was, it was so delightful to knit.

I did the "cervix" and "uterus" part during a comedy show my friend Kelli was performing in in San Francisco. I was actually there with my friend Kaia who originally taught me to knit last summer and lives in Oakland. Even though it was mostly dark I was still almost 100% successful.

I did the fallopian tubes out at lunch with my friend Mary. The putting together of everything was okay, but when I do this again (and I have so much left over, apparently enough for three of them total per skein) I will knit the pipe cleaner in with the I Cord fallopian tubes. I had a really hard time jamming it up there.

The results were super mega cute. I cannot wait to make "blue wombs" for some of my less girly friends.

P.S. I have been harassing Brian to update on his knitting progress. He doesn't want to tell you the minutiae about how we recently found needles for 30% off at Treasure Island and he bought several pair or how we are overjoyed at 25% off yarn at AC Moore this weekend and 30% off everything in the store coupons to the Rag Shop next Saturday. He is nearly done with his grandmother's afghan and 2 baby blankets for the Official Fetus of the Totally Knitting Universe. And he is also running for Pope.

*Local Yarn Shoppes
**Finished Object
***Double Pointed Needles

For Trade!!

2005-04-09T17:16:00.000-05:00

I am completely ready to trade some circular needles for some DPNs*.

Since I have a set of Denise Circulars, I no longer need the circulars I already owned.

One is BRAND NEW, NEVER USED. US Size 9 36" clover bamboo needles.

The other was only used for one project and still has original packet thingy. US Size 10.5 29" Susan Bates "Silvalume" needles.

I am willing to trade these for two sets of DPNs. I need any size DPNs except for 2s and 8s. I am also interested in size 1 or 2 circulars for sock making.

*Double Pointed Needles

LOOKIT!!

2005-04-05T19:50:00.000-05:00

It makes me so sad that I cannot apply for this job and retain my sanity, as I cannot stand driving in New York. I am still hoping that Kevin or Elise or Both use me as their attorney some time in exchange for yarn.

From: "Peter Shankman" peter@s...
Subject: Job Opportunity:

A very, very cool job opportunity exists with one of my clients. Thanks in part to my PR brilliance (big grin), Flying Fingers Yarn Shop, inIrvington, NY (21 miles from Manhattan) is quickly becoming the largest yarnstore not ONLY on the East Coast, but in the entire country. You can get alook at them at www.flyingfingers.com. About a year ago, I convinced them that they needed to create a super coolway for people from Manhattan to shop their wares. Six months later, the Yarn Bus was born.

This is the famed Yarn Bus that has been covered in the NY Times, AP, ABC,The New Yorker, and countless other media around the globe. It's known inknitting circles, and is quickly becoming one of the coolest promotions I'veever come up with for any client.You can see a photo of the Yarn Bus here: http://tinyurl.com/4ydlg

The Yarn bus makes the trip from NYC to Irvington twice on Saturdays andSundays, and occasionally during the week. It also makes special appearancesat news events, and the like. This bus was designed by the same people who built the Oscar MeyerWeiner-mobile and the Yoo-hoo Stinkin' Summer Tour Garbage Truck. It's a blast to drive, and you don't need any special kind of license.

Flying Fingers is looking for a driver for the bus - someone who likes tohave fun, but is responsible, and won't try to pull an Otto from theSimpsons on the bus. There will also be some helping out in the store, aswell. If you don't know how to knit, trust me, you will by the time you take your next job.

The pay is $15 per hour, which, by the way, is what school-bus drivers make- so we're competitive. Plus, you'll get all the free yarn and knittingneedles and knitting classes you could ever want. If you're interested, send me an interesting cover letter, telling me whyyou'd be the perfect Yarn Bus driver. Enclose your resume, as well, eitheras a word doc or a pdf. Don't call me.

Feel free to pass this around to all your friends - in fact, I'd appreciateit! Oh, and one other thing - be comfortable being on TV and in the news -because you will be.

-Peter
Shankmanpeter@s...

On VK Spring/Summer

2005-03-25T19:18:00.000-05:00

For those of you who do not know, I am originally from the Bay Area, California (now live in Jersey City, NJ). My mom still lives here and since there is a christian holiday on the near horizon I have taken a trip to visit.

Because my flight was non-stop I figured the best thing to bring with me was backyard leaves from Scarf Style. All of the things I've read about it on the knitalong indicated it was really hard and really easy to mess up. I thought that since I couldn't really be distracted while sitting still for 5.5 hours it would be the ideal starting place.

I frogged four times and, in sum, did 10 rows. The leaves aren't even showing up yet.

I spent much of my plane trip, though, devouring the new issue of VK*, which arrived in my mailbox yesterday. I subscribed after loving the flower basket of magical miracles and all of the great yarn store advertisements and product information. Most of it seems to be about sweaters and stuff. Which is nice but I'd like to see anyone who knits more than 2 projects out of each issue of VK, because those sweaters are pretty complicated. So this year is a trial year and if I don't consistently use it for some sort of resource I'll cancel.

Anyway, what sort of irked me a lot about this issue was the following juxtaposition: There was a whole article about knitters who take sweater patterns made for the skinny minnies and redesign them to fit their bodies. With emphasis on knitters who are plus-sized. They explicitly mentioned how wrong it is that so many patterns are written with complete disregard for the average body size and what have you. (That most top out at BELOW the average bust size for a woman, etc...) They also mentioned how revolutionary and empowering doing such a thing was because you could go into a pattern with YOUR body as the norm without regard to the standards of beauty. It didn't get into the specifics of how one might alter a pattern for a bigger size, but it was inferred.

However, once you plunge into the sweater patterns in the back of VK, you see that all of them top out at large or XL. Hello? Didn't we just read your article? But we have to do all the work instead of your designers? They didn't even bother putting a timely plus-sized section. It was an annoying aspect of this issue, the fact of them not following their own advice.

I, for one, have had the intention of doing just such a thing at some point using the tips laid out in stitch n' bitch nation or simply bribing Lucia to do it for me, since she hearts math and knitting so much. ;)

I also have earmarked my first sweater pattern, this lacy mohair cowl necked sleeveless number from Weekend Knits. Brian and I were at the B&N looking for copies of the New Yorker with our article in it (I saw one at the dentist's office today!) and since they didn't have our issue out yet we headed to the knitting book section and he specifically pointed the sweater out as "perfect" for me. I can't wait to do the math and make it happen. And make it longer and all of that. If I can make it proportional it will be my favorite work garment for summer.

I left Brian a message this morning at 6:30 AM the second I saw the ad in VK for the new magazine "Rebecca Home". We heart knits for home.

On my week long stint here in the Bay Area (and at grandmother's in Palm Springs) I plan to visit many yarn stores and finish my Flower Basket of Marvelous Mysterious Mischief so that I can felt it FOR FREE.

*Vogue Knitting

They think WE are full of ourselves

2005-03-21T01:59:00.000-05:00

Recall my recent response to speculation posted about Brian on Knitflame, an email list devoted entirely to making mean comments about what people post to the Knitlist. Below find some of the response from the list.

From: "fernbacj"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:05 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

Dear, dear Bev,

Thank you *sooooooooooooo* much for clearing all that up. I'm sure I
speak for everyone here when I tell you how very excited we all are
to have such celebrities in our midst. Enjoy your stay.

From: Robin
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:36 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

> Yes, we are
> super stars and yes, that makes you want to know more about us

Bullshit. I would very much not like to hear any more.

Robin

From: "sara_in_houston"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:40 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

Psst! Trolls go away if you don't feed them.

From: Robin
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:43 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

> Psst! Trolls go away if you don't feed them.

Not this kind.

Robin

From: Sharon Siegel
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:45 am
Subject: Re: [knitflame] Re: was there an election?

>Yes, we are
>super stars and yes, that makes you want to know more about us and
>speculat-

Personally, I couldn't give a shit.

Sharon
"when in doubt, kill the frog."

From: "Mark Ostrem"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:49 am
Subject: hey bevin

> However, I want to let you know that your
>post was
> completely off-base and sort of lame, both in fact and
>in
> implication.

And yours was *not* lame? Give me a break. At least
leabob knows how send a privately addressed email to the
correct address (if it was meant to be public, why address
it Dear Leabob?) *and* she knows how to trim the replies
off.

oh, and leabob is usually funny. Your tone of benevolent
educator is ho-hum. Knitflame is for flaming. If you can't
be entertaining, Move on.

You may be a celebrity in your own mind but it doesn't
draw any depth here.

Denise

From: "lloeren"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:04 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

It seems like someone overdosed on arrogance today.

"Yes, we are
super stars and yes, that makes you want to know more about us and
speculat--especially on the very speculative and insightful forum,
Knitflame."

You have a very, very long way to go before you can reach the level of
the true superstars of this list and the Knitlist.

They are the ones who tirelessly give detailed technical answers over
and over again on the list. They are the ones who because they
consistently write lengthy technical essays on many knitting topics on
their blogs have huge blog readership. They are the ones who actually
make a worthwhile contribution.

Finally, they are they ones who don't have their heads up their own
arses blowing a trumpet.

Emma, a regular lurker.

From: "Milinda"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:27 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

Holy Shit! who left the Troll Gate open this time?

As for you, Bevin, do you really think that we give a fuck about you
and the "boy knitter?"

Jesus, take the garbage out.

Milinda
getting crankier by the day
From: "troiscoquettes"
Date: Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:48 am
Subject: Re: was there an election?

Seems to me that we had contracted to not only have a gate added to the
stile, but for it to also be both electrified and rabbit-proofed.

I think maybe the GC fell down on the job.

-3c

It is the official position of the Totally Knitting Universe that the Knit"flamers" aren't even a little remarkable. It is a shame, too, because that forum could really be clever and funny but instead it is simply mean for mean's sake.

For the Record, Brian is a Real Boy

2005-03-18T21:15:00.000-05:00

The following was posted to the KnitFlame list today:

----- Original Message -----
" I am Brian, boy* knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame"

I'm beginning to wonder if he thinks he's the only male knitter on theknitlist. The way he posts it sounds like he does. i would *so* bet you that it's not that he sees himself as the only male knitter -- it's that he sees himself as a *b0y* knitter. i have a friend* who's very much into the SMBD scene & refers to herself as a "boi". i've gathered that the term denotes a butch lesbian who's a submissive & who likes to playgames with a father/son twist (even when the father is a femme lesbian). she likes lots of punishment, but i don't know if that's a standard part of that scenario. anyway, i wouldn't be surprised to find that our self-centered egomaniac is of a similar persuasion. some people have very complex boats to float.

lea bob

* she's not so much a close friend anymore. we used to have lots ofdiscussions regarding research, renaissance england & what store had the bestfabric/rhinestones/trim/metal bits for costumes. once she came out of thecloset** & got into the SMBD scene, all she wanted to talk about was being a sub& giving the details of her sex life. frankly, there's not many details that iwant to know about other people's sex lives no matter what kind of sex they'rehaving, or with whom.

** her "coming out" was rather anticlimactic since the rest of us had peggedher as a lesbian long before. we just thought that she was discrete about it.little did we know. once she decided to officially admit being a lesbian, shecouldn't shut up about the details. we found out that she hadn't been discrete;she'd been repressed &, when her mother died, she cut loose in a big way. imean, she didn't so much come out of the closet as she exploded into a non-stop,no-holds-barred, detailed, constant discussion of lesbian sex, bondage,discipline, and -- well, the kind of sexual games that leave you thinking, "oh.my. sweet. god. are you saying that people really *do* that? and enjoy it?!!."suddenly we were all faced with a 52-year old, overweight, badly groomed,coke-bottle glasses-wearing, badly dressed lesbian with a lousy haircut & no"mute" button. imagine how entertained we all were when she managed (she's gota big voice) to take over an entire party & regale us with all the details ofher newly-discovered sexual gameplaying. you've never seen so many peoplezipping past their hostess with a muttered, "hadagreattime, delightfulparty,gottago". and you've never seen a more horrified look on a hostess' face whenshe realized that, not only was the entire party bailing on her, she'd offeredDonna a place to stay for the weekend. and we, chickenshits that we were,shamelessly left her standing there while we rushed to our blessedly quiet,Donna-less homes. i heard later that she managed to stay drunk most of theweekend.

Below, please find my response, posted to KnitFlame:

Dear LeaBob:

I am Bevin. You may remember me from such things as I was riding the yarn bus and was completely interviewed by the New Yorker and my post to the Clapotis Knitalong that indicated that I thought the whole thing was overrated.

Brian, the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist, Star of Knitflame and the person you refer to in the below-referenced post to Knitflame, is my blogging Partner in Crime, best knitting pal and a good friend of mine.

I know that much of our lives is shrouded in mystery. Yes, we are super stars and yes, that makes you want to know more about us and speculate--especially on the very speculative and insightful forum, Knitflame. However, I want to let you know that your post was completely off-base and sort of lame, both in fact and in implication. I do not want to forget to mention that it was also offensive.

You see, Lea Bob, Brian is a biological boy. He was born with XY chromosomes and as far as I know has identified as a male person his whole entire life. As Joan in Eugene has completely pegged, Brian has identified himself as the "Boy" Knitter of the knitlist in an attempt to be "cutsie pie". He is a charming man and is prone to being the center of attention at parties, not because he has no "mute" button, but because he is a very nice and funny person and people enjoy speaking with him. He and I both have seen the knitlist as a group of people who may appreciate a cleverly-worded email now and again. I know for a fact that Brian knows he is not the only boy on the knitlist, as Rodney from Palo Alto, CA has contacted him regarding the leagues of male knitters that mostly lurk.

I am not going to address your specific implications about Brian's sex life but let me just assure you all that unless you are a dorky boy and identify as gay you will not have a piece of his sweet sweet ass. But I bet Brian will find it sexy that you used a footnote within a footnote in your post.

Lea Bob, I am also a member of the gay and lesbian community, but as I am a girl I am in the opposite camp of my friend Brian. But, unlike Brian, I have been a lot more active in the LGBT community and, it's fair to say, know a broader-based group of queer people.

I do know what a "boi" is, as you incorrectly termed it in your email. A "boi" is sometimes used in the S/M community to refer to someone who biologically may be male or female and identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or anything on that spectrum but generally prefers the submissive end of role playing. A "boi" is also a term sometimes adopted by genderqueers as a label for gender identity, that they identify as more masculine but not neccesarilty as a man. This is incredibly oversimplified, but I felt needed to be addressed.

Lea Bob, I think you have given us way too many details about your friend (or former friend, if I read your post right) in order to make your point about Brian potentially being a kinky butch lesbian and not a male knitter trying to entertain older women on an email list by being cutsie pie.

But I will say this about Donna, I am happy for her that she has found a community she identifies with and finds support in. It is certainly obvious she wasn't getting that from your circle of friends.

Sincerely,

Bevin
Jersey City, NJ
http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com

OTN: Heirloom Baby Blanket Sampler from VK Baby Blankets on the Go II, in acrylic lavender.

Totally Crocheting Universe

2005-03-15T02:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Stylin' Scarf Makers of All Fiber Art Forms:

You may recall me from such posts as "I made ruffles just like every other girl in the universe" and "Has anyone else started the hardest intarsia project in the history of ever."

As some of you may know, it is the position of the Totally Knitting Universe that crochet is an Inferior Fiber Art (TM)*. It's true. Try to deny it.

This came about due to an unfortunate trip to AC Moore, which I will recount briefly for you at the present time.

Brian, the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist, Creator of Mandarin Moonlight and my best knitting pal/blogging partner and I went to our favorite AC Moore to check out their deals. When we first began knitting in earnest, we paid little attention to crochet, except to dismiss it in pattern books as items we would not complete because we didn't care to learn how. We hadn't passed any judgments. Our minds were open and blank as to what other people chose to do with their hands/idle time/yarn.

It was at this moment when we passed the craft table and a woman displaying her many wares was seated and eyeing us suspiciously. A group of other ladies stood off to the side. Brian and I "oohed" and "ahhed" at her creations, noting that they were crocheted but didn't mention it. We offered her the traditional kudos for a job well done and moved on to explore the next aisle.

These women apparently pegged us as knitters right away because they began talking loudly about how much they hated knitting. About how they just couldn't stand those needles clacking together. BLECH. They went on and on and Brian and I just looked at each other. It wasn't until we left that we were able to discuss it openly, and it was then and there that our position regarding crochet as "just flat knots" and "unable to make anything pretty" was born.

We have carried this prejudice with us for almost two months. However, surfing through Scarf Style and noting that many pretty things have been made using the fiber art of crochet, I decided to make an exception for only those projects. We were able to secure two seats via a two month long waitlist for a class at our favorite LYS*. Kevin, the Man Crocheter of Flying Fingers, is a crocheter and offers a class free of charge, provided you purchase supplies from their shoppe. A complete deal, if you ask me.

I went into the class after taking the Yarn Bus hoping to learn to read a crochet pattern so that I could begin my Flower Trellis Scarf from Scarf Style. With Kevin's help I have completed one third of the project. Not bad for five hours in a yarn store. I'm finding crochet not as fun as knitting but a pretty good instant gratification, and will continue to use crochet to enhance and improve knitted projects. As the Flower Trellis contains knitted flowers, this project falls under that ambit.

The pattern calls for a crocheted trellis, and with basic skills the trellis flows right from the hook. Here you can see the relative length of the scarf (it is crocheted lengthwise) modeled against the Official SpokesCat of the Totally Knitting Universe, Lily. Lily is completely attracted to the fiber I have used on this project.

I have chosen to work entirely in Alpaca, as it is "In like a Lion, out like an Alpaca" month at our LYS (this includes online sales, by the way). The trellis is in Tahki Yarns "Kerry" in color 5009 aka green, a worsted weight 50% Wool/Alpaca blend. I also have Kerry in color 5023 aka Pink for some of the knitted roses and picked out a Blue Sky Alpaca sportweight in pink and a sportweight white with little sparkles (Alpine Meadows yarn in "Winter Wonderland") to provide smaller accent flowers using the same pattern proposed in the book but on smaller needles.

It is my hope to finish the project soon so that Macy, the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe, can feel all the more Parisian.

As some of you may remember, she has recently had her ovaries removed and is sort of sullen about the whole thing.

Hope this wasn't too image-intensive,

Bevin
Jersey City, NJ
Totally Knitting
Bevin & Brian in The New Yorker

**Local Yarn Shoppe

Totally Famous Totally Knitting Universe

2005-03-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

Recall our first Yarn Bus adventure. Recall also that we met a nice young reporter for The New Yorker on our journey.

Today a New Yorker article featuring Bevin and I appeared on the internet.

We are so totally famous.

The article is not technically about us, but we are none the less featured extensively. If you've like to acquire your very own hard copy of the magazine the article appears in the March 21, 2005 edition.

The article will be available for free on the internet from now until March 21.

Mandarin Moonlight

2005-03-10T18:48:00.000-05:00

Posted to the Scarf Style Knitalong Blog earlier today.

Hello Stylish Scarf Knitters!

I have very much enjoyed watching all of your progress on the various Scarves of Style you've been working on, even those of you who have been knitting sleeves. I have finally gotten around to beginning my first Scarf Style Project and I present for you now this lovely progress photo.

Many of you may recognize this as a scarf modeled on the pattern entitled Midwest Moonlight. My scarf is called Mandarin Moonlight because it is being knit from Southwest Trading Company's Bamboo in firey red. This yarn is actually made from bamboo, which as you know is native to China and a healthy snack for pandas. Also the Chinese are totally red communists. The name change seems inevitable when these facts are considered. I'm sure you all agree.

The bamboo fabric has an incredible drape and a great deal of stitch definition. It is a little brittle though and I had to learn not to knit to tightly with it or the yarn would snap. It has an interesting hand which is difficult to describe. I will make it available for fondling to any of you who wish to visit me in New Jersey.

Also in the photo you will see that my Mandarin Moonlight is totally being modeled by Macy, the Official Spokesdog of the Totally Knitting Universe*. See how happy she was yesterday when that photo was taken? Today she is having her ovaries out. The wheel is always turning, my friends. Always turning.

So far I have been following the pattern as written, but I am thinking of adding sleeves to my Mandarin Moonlight when I get a little farther along. I will post any alterations I make to the pattern in pursuit of adding sleeves to the knitalong blog.

Brian

*http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com

LYS* FanFic**

2005-03-08T18:00:00.000-05:00

Recall that Flying Fingers is the official LYS* of the Totally Knitting Universe. Here is a link to our photo essay detailing our trip to Flying Fingers.

Presented now, for the first time ever, is the untold story of how they captured Wooly-Wooly.

The Hunt

Kevin took a long drag off his cigarette and leaned into the dim light over the table. These secret meetings in darkened speakeasies were beginning to wear on him. He’d decided to tell Elise that he was giving up if this one didn’t pan out. He knew it would crush her, but how much more energy could one man dedicate to an endeavor such as this? He turned a sickly green and coughed heartily as the smoke escaped from his lungs.

“Have some water,” said the man across the table. “Get it all out.” He patted Kevin on the back. “You okay?”

Kevin nodded, his eyes watering. He heaved a little while he coughed.

“What the hell are you doing anyway? You don’t smoke. Your face is all red there. Here take this napkin; you’ve got a little spittle. Little more on the left. There you go.”

Kevin labored with the words, his breathing shallow. “You’re sure?” he asked. He thumbed tentatively through the dossier he’d just been given. “Is this—confirmed?”

The man folded his arms across his chest and smiled broadly. “This time,” he said, “this time it’s real.”

~~~~~~

Two hours later Kevin stood in front of his team and began to brief them on the situation. “People, I need your attention.” He handed out a page he’d photocopied. The top half had a fuzzy photograph, the bottom a physical map of the area. A Sharpee had been used to put a big red X on each map in an area on the edge of the woods. An area that bordered prime grazing land. “We’ve had a confirmed sighting and we’ve got to move fast on this.”

Amber collapsed her portable swift and pressed a lever. In the center of the swift a mechanism unhinged and a length of chain unspooled. She deftly manipulated the weapon, her hands a blur as she swung the nun chucks with frightening ferocity. She came to rest in a purposeful stance, her arms at the ready, her eyes taking every thing in as they surveyed the shoppe over the top of the rims. Then she bowed deeply to Kevin and said, “What’s the mission, Kevin-San? Bag and tag?”

Kevin was glad Amber was around this time. Her ninja skills will come in handy if this isn’t another hoax, he thought. “No, Amber. This is a kill. We go in quietly. A surgical strike, we take the target only.”

Elise felt her face flush as she realized that last statement was aimed at her. “Jesus, Kevin,” she hissed. “I thought it was the target, ok? How many times do I have to apologize? Besides it wasn’t my fault. I mean, what the hell was that sheep dog doing corralling all those dime store Indians? What was I supposed to think?”

Kevin walked over and took Elise’s hand. He kissed her gently on the forehead and breathed in her scent. To be so close to her—every time he fell in love all again. “I know. I know. I just—I just don’t want to lose it again. We’re close, Babe. We’re closer than we’ve ever been.”

He looked back over his shoulder and addressed the whole group. “No mistakes this time, people.” He tossed the keys to the Yarn Bus to Red. “Fire it up,” he said. He slapped a clip into his pistol and felt a tingle at the familiar click.

He sighted a basket of Lambs Pride Worsted and tensed his finger around the trigger without releasing the safety. He pretended it was a basket of Debbie Bliss Soho and, remembering the time Debbie made his mother in law cry, felt a rage boil up inside him. It was a rage he could use, a rage he had always used when he’d been on a hunt. “Everybody lock and load! We’ve got a giant fiberglass yarn ball sheep to bag.”

~~~~~~

A few seconds later they were underway. Red, Elise, and Kevin rode inside the Yarn Bus. Amber clung to the exterior and scaled it like an insect. Her ninja senses were alive in the open air and she reveled in the world around her. She drank it in as only a ninja could. She closed her eyes and reached out with her other senses. She could feel the wild life all around her humming along in the never ending search for food and sex. Subtly she eliminated the gophers and the deer and the sparrows in her search for just one creature.

Red thought it a little unnerving that she could not hear Amber on the roof of the Yarn Bus. Is she even still up there? she thought. She glanced into the rear view again, looking for anything (or anyone) they may have dropped along the way. Red had a Midwest charm that belied her stunt driving skills and wicked accuracy with a hurled knitting needle. She fingered the size US thirteens she kept in the quiver at her side. She’d stocked up on the purple ones, her favorites, before they’d left the shoppe. Her quiver could carry sixteen needles, but she’d never needed more than one. It was a point of pride for her, but she was much too polite to brag about it.

It seemed to take no time at all before Red was smoothly pulling off the road near the sighting. Amber vaulted off the roof in a graceful arc, landing silently in front of the Yarn Bus. “Is it here? Can you feel it?” Elise was tingly and impatient.

Amber’s eyes narrowed to slits as she surveyed the area. “Something is here,” she said. “Something I have never felt before.” She sniffed the air. “Something ancient.”

“Is it purple?” asked Elise. “Maybe with orange flecks?”

Amber cocked her head to the side in a gesture few had seen from a ninja. “I do not know, Elise. It’s colorway is blocked to even my ninja senses.”

Kevin strapped a crossbow across his chest with a strap he’d crocheted with Yarn Bus stash yarn on the short journey. He kissed his lucky size G hook and holstered it snuggly around his ankle. He felt safer with it there. “Alright, people,” he cautioned. “Let’s button it up. Get your heads in the game and head out.” He took point and strode confidently toward the grazing area, the rag tag team of hunters close behind.

~~~~~~

They rounded a hill and Red was the first to spot their prey grazing lazily in the valley below. Instinctively she drew a knitting needle and readied it in her hand. “There it is!” she whispered excitedly. “It’s a big one!”

Kevin took a knee and produced a pair of binoculars from the binocular cuddly Elise had knit for him on their last anniversary. He absently brushed a stray fiber from the lens cap. He placed the binoculars up to his eyes and adjusted the focus until a beautiful yarn ball sheep in a stunning blue/yellow/green colorway popped into sharp relief. He gasped a little. Rare, he thought. Three colors.

“Alright people. There she is.” He passed the binoculars around to Red and Elise so they could get a better look. Amber’s heightened ninja senses had already provided her with all the detail she needed. He motioned for Amber to position herself behind the sheep and she dutifully complied. He motioned to Elise and Red to flank it on the left and he would break right. They all knew what to do.

It stood still, motionless in fact, as Kevin and his team positioned themselves. Was it aware of them? Did it know what was happening? Would it bolt, charge, shoot laser beams from its eyes? These questions plagued Kevin. He worried more for the safety of Elise and the others than for himself. He knew that if it ever came to it he would sacrifice himself for any of them.

Through the binoculars he could see his team in place. He was preparing to give the signal, when he first caught glimpse of Elise charging the prey. What was she doing? Was she trying to get herself killed? She’d lifted two of Red’s needles and wielded one overhand in each paw. Her long black hair flowed wildly behind her as she charged. “For the dime store Indians!” she shrieked.

Kevin stood paralyzed as the love of his life neared the yarn ball sheep, leapt into the air and with a sickening slap landed sidelong across the back of the sheep. She kicked wildly and pounded it with the needles in her hands. Kevin heard a snap as one of the acrylic tips broke off with a glancing blow against the seemingly impenetrable fiberglass. Each of Elise’s kicks landed a gut wrenchingly hollow thud against the creature’s midsection. She struggled valiantly against the creature for what seemed like minutes until, exhausted, she slipped off it and lay in the grass beside it.

“Is it…did I…is it dead?” she asked her approaching team mates?

“Hard to tell,” said Amber. She examined the fiberglass yarn ball sheep noting it hadn’t moved an iota since they first spotted it. “Such a delicate balance between the life and death of fiberglass creatures.”

Kevin gave it a shove and it toppled over onto its side raising a cloud of dust.

“I’d say it’s dead enough,” said Red. Everyone laughed, even Amber whose ninja sensibilities rarely permitted her such a human reaction. “I can tell you one thing for sure, though.”

“What’s that?” asked Kevin.

“There’s no way you’re bringing that filthy thing onto my yarn bus!”

“Way ahead of you, Red. I’ve already radioed for the SUV.”

As if on cue an SUV rounded the bend and approached the hunters. It took the strength of all of them to hoist the yarnball sheep onto the roof of the SUV and secure it. Kevin couldn’t resist feeling proud of Elise and he gave her a bear hug when they were ready to take off.

“I’ve got to get a picture, Kevin.” said Elise. She produced a disposable camera from her fanny pack. You two smile now! Say, ‘Wooly-Wooly!’”

*Local Yarn Shoppe
** Fan Fiction

This one is for you, Brian

2005-03-07T03:51:00.000-05:00

Tingle you bitch.

Yarn Dieting

2005-03-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of weird knitster speak, I am completely on a Yarn Diet. This is exactly what it sounds like, not buying yarn until you lose some of the excess. Our weekend with the Yarn Bus and the garbage bag of yarn from Smiley's Yarn Store has completely sated my need for string. Brian and I did a bunch of YAMming* and I have enough for three major projects plus two minor ones. Not to mention the stash I already had.

Anyway, that said, I had to cheat on my yarn diet this week. It's true, my will power is weak in the face of deep-seated desire.

A few months ago I was mad searching for yarn to do the Sheep Grazin' in the Grass blanket from Vogue Knitting Baby Blankets 2. This pattern was the whole reason I bought the book and I desperately wanted to make cute little intarsia sheep for my impending cousin (due to my Aunt in April). The pattern calls for Berocco Pronto in color Grass. Now, most places I looked for it required upwards of $7 a skein. For 9 skeins I was not going to be able to afford to create the Sheep Grazin' in the Grass blanket. I hunted for an alternative bulky cotton but couldn't find one in a green grass color. It plagued me. I decided I might just double strand a worsted weight cotton, but then just gave up on the project until I really loved a yarn.

And then it happened. Elann sent me a newsletter with yarn clippings. And they had Pronto. And it was $2.49 a skein. Hello! I immediately went online and found that they only had two colors of it and they weren't even green. Boo. So I sent them an email and they said they'd email me if/when they ever got more in. I was not hopeful.

Thursday night I got the email. And I totally bought some green (I think it's called "So Green"). I bought a third of their available stock.

Brian agreed that this was a must have purchase, since I had been looking so long for this particular color and yarn. He completely sanctioned the stray from my Yarn Diet.

So now I just need three skeins of white Berocco Plush and one of black Plush. I need these to not be the retail price of $8.50 - $9.00. I found a great store online that sells mega discount Noro yarns via the Scarf Style blog yesterday. (It took a lot of Yarn Diet strength not to pick up Noro at $6.99 a skein, by the way.) I emailed them because they did not have Plush in stock, but carried a mega ton of other Berocco yarns at discount prices.

This is their response:

Thank you for your e-mail.

We always ship the same or next business day.
The Plush is not coming in, as we do not have lots of requests for it at
this time.

Have a wonderful day
Betsy

I think that Wool Needlework needs to be inundated with requests for Plush, and I ask that you, readers of TK.BS** pitch in and hook a sister up with her dream YAM at this store.

Why shouldn't I harness the power of the internet, THIS BLOG, for my dreams? I beg of you, pop over to gmail or aolmail or yahoomail or whatever mail service you use and drop a line to Betsy and BEG HER to carry Plush, especially in white and black, at a deep discount.

info@woolneedlework.com

Thank you.

*Yarn Acquisition Mission
**TotallyKnitting.BlogSpot.com

The SNB with great Fateitude

2005-03-03T06:08:00.000-05:00

This is not knitting related but somehow makes me feel like it is something for the knitting community to gather 'round.

OKC*

Tonight Sooner and I went to the Hoboken Stitch N Bitch (SNB). I found the group via the main SNB website http://www.stitchnbitch.org.

They met at Wolfgang Puck's in Hoboken. We walked in, ordered our food and approached them, realizing one of them, Megan, WENT TO LAW SCHOOL WITH BOTH MYSELF AND SOONER. How insane is that? Plus, one of the other two women (Beth) was also a lawyer. So we had an SNB with four lawyers and a non-lawyer. I felt sort of bad that most of the time at the event we were talking about people from law school but how can that be avoided with such a chance meeting? Next time we'll move on to general law talk. And by the time Jen gets back from her vacation (she was the non-lawyer) we'll be on to just talking about knitting.

*Obligatory Knitting Content

Sooner's Recent FO*s

2005-03-02T16:24:00.000-05:00

I have recently acquired a couple of FOs that the wily Bevin was able to capture photos of. First is a throw I finished about 2 weeks ago. I intend it as a gift for my mother on Mother's Day. Cross Lane Cables from Gorgeous Knitted Afghans.

I named it Coffee's Miracle as I finished it in a fit of knitting late into the night following some mega caffeinated brew Bevin cooked up for me during an Alias Hang. It is totally being cuddled by Macy, the official spokesdog of TK.BS**.

Additionally, I've just finished the knitting of a Rose Trellis Bag of Miracles and Sumptuousness, a Nicky Epstine design from the winter edition of Vogue Knitting. (See knitalong button on side panel of this blog for details and additional photos.) Mine is still in the pre-felted stage, but it's FO enough to be included here. This is intended as a gift for my sister who is soon to be great with child and who has recently taken up knitting herself. I will fill it with needles and yarn and patterns for baby booties when I give it to her.

The roses and leaves are all complete (a dozen roses and 38 leaves), but need to be felted before they are attached to the bag, so I placed one rose to give a taste of what it will look like when complete. Macy, the official spokesdog of tk.bs**, can totally be carried by the Rose Trellis Bag of Chocolate Sauce and Luxury but can be seen here carrying the Rose Trellis Bag of Air Kisses and Opulence.

I will be sure to post photos of the Rose Trellis Bag of Splendor and Majesty once it has been felted and is completely assembled.

*Finished Objects
**totallyknitting.blogspot.com

New FOs

2005-03-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

Sooner is cooking something up pretty marvelous, though, stay tuned right here. It's a TK.BS* exclusive.

I just wanted to report that there are new FO**s added to the FO links on the sidebar. Sooner made an afghan. Holy crap!

Also, to comment on my own FOs (details within the photo captions) Ruffles took for ev er to finish but was a dream to knit, being all cashmerey on bamboo needles. Also, the Alien Illusion Scarf was a long time knitting, too (so much so that my DSO*** said that she was sick of watching me knit it), and curls like a mofo. I have contemplated a single crochet border but have decided that when hanging on the neck it's not so bad.

Bevin
Sooner

*TotallyKnitting.BlogSpot.com
**Finished Object
***Darling Significant Other

An Open Letter to Joan in Eugene

2005-02-26T16:04:00.000-05:00

Recall my earlier correspondence with Joan in Eugene.

This email was sent to Joan earlier this week.

Dear Joan in Eugene,

I am Brian, the boy* knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame. You may remember me from such correspondence as "I have enormous feet" and "I had no idea that knitting was serious like cancer thank you, Joan in Eugene, for teaching me that."

Since our correspondence regarding my sock problem I have totally looked to you, Joan in Eugene, as a model of the appropriate way to interact with others on the internet and also as the pinnacle of the Joan-in-Eugene-Knitting-Correspondence-Paradigm, a paradigm which includes a complete dearth of cutsie-pieness.

This is why, Joan in Eugene, I am so troubled by recent correspondence posted by you to the knitflame yahoo group under the subject "Flaming the Flamer." I have excerpted this correspondence for your reference here.

"Why all the apostrophes, since it looks like those words are merely plurals? Or would you have me write - Why all the apostrophe's, since it look's like those word's are merely plural's?"

Joan in Eugene, why the cutsie-pie grammar lesson? Has there been a paradigm shift? Don't you feel you might have gotten a more complete response from the apostrophe offender if you'd left the cutsie-pie stuff out? Not that you are in any way wrong regarding the grammar infraction you called out. I mean, I can totally see that you have your grammar down. But I have to tell you, Joan in Eugene, that I was a little put off by the cutsie-pieness of it all, especially given that I have been striving to eliminate cutsie-pie from my life at your urging. I guess I just feel like your response should have been a little more cerebral.

Joan in Eugene, I demand you contact me immediately to settle this issue. Could it be that I have misinterpreted this cutsie-pie business entirely and while cutsie-pie is unfitting when it comes to knitting, it is entirely well-suited for grammar lessons? I need you to define this cutsie-pie paradigm a little more rigidly for me, Joan in Eugene. I think you'll completely agree that this is totally a paradigm gray area and I'm sure it will not be the only one. These sorts of questions are bound to come up in the future.

Looking to you--as always--for Guidance,

Brian (boy* knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame)

http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com

*The use of "boy" here indicates gender only; it is no indication of age.

So far there has been no reply. I remain hopeful she will clear up this issue for me. I will keep you posted.

The Yarn Bus: A Photo Essay

2005-02-24T01:58:00.000-05:00

As many of you may be aware, our LYS, Flying Fingers, features a unique service known in the common parlance as The Yarn Bus. The Yarn Bus is a 12 passenger van that collects passengers in Manhattan and takes them off on a mystical yarn-filled journey through the Bronx and drops them off at the front door of the LYS. They do so in a vehicle commissioned from the fine folks who craft the wienermobiles.

This vehicle features a paint job in garter stitch as if the yarn had been knit in some sort of extra chunky thick and bulky bladdydahooha yarn in blue, like Jesus had been sitting around knitting this yarn on size US 300 needles and whipped Himself up a van. It also features three enormous fiberglass yarn balls and two gigantic knitting needles on the roof.

The moment we saw the promotional materials for the Yarn Bus, we got in touch with Kevin or Elise or Both of Flying Fingers and booked passage from the City unto Irvington on Hudson.

Immediately preceeding our journey, as Sooner was especially tingly and Bevin was counting the change in her pocket, we were in touch with Kevin, specifically, regarding our impending arrival. We made it very clear that we expected nothing less than his emphatic greeting on the sidewalk in front of the establishment. See archived correspondence below.

We took the PATH train free of coffee in our tired bones because we feared being late for the Yarn Bus. Can you imagine how terrible it might be to have to chase after a rolling ball of yarn down Broadway? Through Midtown? Yeah, you'd go without coffee, too. Don't even lie and try to pretend you wouldn't. We have your number, Mister.

The Yarn Bus was completely idling on the street corner at 19th and 5th Ave (which, by the way, to Elise or Kevin or Both, that is NOT Union Square). Sooner approached the van cautiously, vaucher in hand.

We were greeted by Liz, who immediately disclosed that she is not the usual Yarn Bus driver, but is a usual LYS employee. After complimenting her mega cool felted hat, we were joined by Lauren, a reporter at the New Yorker. Lauren was totally forthcoming about the fact that she is a non-knitter, and was along simply to gather information for a potential feature for her magazine. Sooner and I made quick work of schooling her in the ways of the wacky knitting world. We told her about acronyms. We told her about different fibers. We told her about THIS blog.

It's a good thing we got to Lauren before any crocheters did, because we were able to warn her about the ickiness of crochet and the folk who practice said inferior fiber art (TM). We feel like we helped her dodge a major bullet.

To her credit, Liz completely agreed with us about crochet.

Liz careened safely through Manhattan and retrieved 2 more passengers on the Upper West Side, one of whom brought coffee onto the Yarn Bus, which has now answered the question we had about whether we could bring our neccessary java next time. (Though the night before we thought about an emergency email unto Kevin regarding same.)

Liz presented us with free Flying Fingers size US 13 needles in purple clear acrylic, which were both useful and totally cute. Neither of us had 13s yet.

She also handed us a basket with a bunch o' stash yarn. We do not need to tell you that stash yarn from a yarn shoppe is way way way nicer than stash yarn you're gonna get off ebay. Bevin decided then and there to knit up an offering for Kevin. She took a thick and thin yarn called "ghost" and a smaller tie dye looking yarn called "tarantelli" with the ambition of making Kevin a scarf. When we arrived at Flying Fingers Bevin presented Kevin with a coaster she named "The Ghost of Tarantelli", pictured here.

Everyone piled out of the Yarn Bus immediately. Kevin was not on the street to greet us, but, to his credit, Liz forgot to honk. We walked in and were astounded that the place was so packed to the gills with yarn that several times during our visit, baskets or displays of yarn were knocked over. Their cup runneth over, if you will.

In addition to the mega ton of yarn available on the shelves at first glance, there are many signs that inform the reader "Fear not! We have a 'closet' just across the street and a warehouse 2 blocks away, both also packed with yarn. Enough for any project." Here is a photo of communication between Kevin, in the shop, and the slave children in the warehouse, demanding that several skeins of slimmer shimmer in color "Rave" be brought immediately for Bevin's perusal.

Note the walkie talkie. Elise is just to his side.

As we were touching yarn, Kevin came up behind Bevin and proclaimed "You're Bevin." Bevin and Sooner were totally excited and introductions were made. Hands were shook. Needles were tapped to crochet hooks. Bridges had been formed.

We immediately got down to business, as Sooner was there on a mission. Although it was the start of business, the place already had many customers crawling around and demanding personalized yarn attendance.

Kevin did not disappoint. He pointed Sooner to the Bamboo yarns, and at some point jaunted off to double check an email from Sooner asking specifically for red Bamboo yarn. Which he produced from inside a stool.

Sooner was sold on this yarn immediately for a Scarf Style scarf called Interlocking Balloons. Bevin wanted attention regarding her Clapotis. Kevin brought her around to many sport weight yarns and showed us both the Peruvian Tweed, which we were completely taken with and both ended up getting a skein for other Scarf Style scarves.

Lauren got ahold of Kevin at this point and began an interview that completely dredged the back story of Kevin, Man Crocheter of Flying Fingers Yarn Shop. Apparently Kevin was once a Wall Street tycoon. And now his lovely flaxen curls grace only Main Street. Kevin and Elise or both have seven children, many of whom provide the slave labor in the warehouse.

At this point Bevin needed coffee to make a real decision regarding yarn, as you might well imagine. So we trucked up the giant hill to find that downtown Irvington is completely closed on Sunday, save for a pizza place, a pricey brunch joint and a yarn store (that does not serve coffee).

We ended up having brunch, taking full advantage of our window seat to totally experience Sunday morning in Irvington on Hudson.

On our way back we saw the building Kevin and Elise both purchased, to be the future home of our LYS. Perhaps to replace the warehouse and "closet"?

There is an impassioned plea on the front window regarding the construction that will no doubt wreak havoc on the sleepy town for the next year.

Additionally, and, perhaps, most indicative of the flair with which our LYS operates, there is a massive fiber glass yarn ball sheep in the front window.

Her name is Wooly Wooly.

We got back to the store and continued shopping. We had occasion to visit with Elise, who is marvelous in all ways and very chatty and knowledgable. She helped Sooner decide that the tweed shall become Here and There Cables. She is no doubt correct.

Kevin completely stepped in and helped Bevin pick out her Clapotis yarns, which also ended up causing him to knock down an entire display of shimmer yarns. It was a yarntastrophe, to be sure. No one seemed to care.

We were mezmerized by the magical yarn spinner that turned our hanks of tweed into center pull balls.

When Bevin tried to use it to make a ball out of a center pull skein that completely lied on the packaging, she created a giant knot that required both Kevin and Heidi (a store employee) and herself 45 minutes to resolve. Bevin has the midas touch in terms of turning balls of yarn into unworkable knots. She did not even cast on in the store.

Sooner made fun of her.

The day came to an end all to quickly.

The Yarn Bus, courtesy of Liz, dropped us off near Central Park so that we might see an art installation. The Gates were no doubt shadowed by the gloriousness of the departing Yarn Bus.

Pre Yarn Bus Correspondence

2005-02-23T23:18:00.000-05:00

Sooner to Kevin, Man Crocheter of the Flying Fingers Yarn Shoppe:

Dear Kevin or Elise or Both,

I am Brian, the Boy Knitter from the Knitlist and also star of Knitflame. You may remember me from such emails as "crocheters are sailors who make knots" and "no offense I had no idea you were a crocheter."

Regardless, as I have mentioned in the past and to all who would listen, Flying Fingers is totally my LYS*. My blogging partner, Bevin, and I have in fact made Flying Fingers the official LYS of the Totally Knitting Universe. totallyknitting.blogspot.com

As you may also recall Bevin and I are making our way up to Flying Fingers by way of the Yarn Bus this coming Sunday, February 20, 2005. We are totally looking forward to our adventure into your yarn land of luxury and have been busily preparing by deciding which projects to acquire supplies for and what not. I'm especially interested in the bamboo and soy fibers I read about on your website. I think I'd like to make Interlocking Baloons from Scarf Style from Bamboo -- RED -- but need to consult you first. This is the LYS advantage.

Anyway, I am sending this email unto you so that you would be reminded that we are coming to visit and hopefully arrange your schedule so that you may greet us as we emerge from the Yarn Bus. It is our hope to establish a long and fruitful relationship with Flying Fingers and in that way I'm sure you can see the value of a personal greeting upon our arrival.

Please see to it, Kevin or Elise or Both.

Brian, the boy knitter from the knitlist and star of knitflame.

*Local Yarn Shoppe

Kevin to Sooner:

Totally looking forward to it! (you're on the 10:00 am bus, yes?)

Btw, would you and Bevin (such an easy name for me to remember) like to enroll in my Mar 13 or Apr 3 Crochet Class?
(Sneak peek of draft Session X attached.)

Sooner unto Bevin:

Bevin,

This is totally exciting news. Get back to me asap regarding crochet dates.

B

P.S. someone whose name MIGHT rhyme with a'hole totally has a new FO*. Including fringe. I have decided to name the FO "Coffee's Miracle."

*Finished Object

Sooner to Kevin:

Dear Kevin,

Yes, our reservation is for the 10am Yarn Bus on Sunday February 20. Two days, Kevin. Two.

Both Bevin and I would very much like to be enrolled in your March 13 Crochet class. By any chance is the Yarn Bus available for that date? Might we secure a couple of seats in the Yarn Bus of Mystery and Wonder for March 13? Will we be learning to crochet a skull and crossbones?

Brian, the boy knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame.

Kevin to Sooner:

Elise or I or Both are counting the hours, Boy Knitter aka Sooner.

In addition, I've signed you both up for the Mar 13 crochet w/s (noting the desire for skull & crossbones motifs) and given you reservations for the Mar 13 10am bus returning 4pm.

Bevin to Kevin (I know):

Dear Kevin:

You may already know me by name, but in case you are unfamiliar, I am Bevin, the Girl Knitter of the Totally Knitting Universe and a legalknitter. My friend Brian Blaho is the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist andStar of Knitflame and has been in contact with you regarding the YarnBus and Crochet Classes and whatnot. I have received copies of all correspondence from Brian unto you andvice versa. I am very pleased with your quality of service online andif that is any indication of the quality of LYS* service we willreceive in store (and on the street as we disembark from the Yarn Busof Magical Mystery and Wonder to your emphatic greeting) I will never regret having declared in concert with Brian Flying Fingers Yarn Shop the official LYS of the Totally Knitting Universe.

I have one small request for our E-Service henceforth. I noticed that the voucher Brian printed for our trip on the Yarn Bus of Magical Mystery and Wonder is in the name of Brian Blaho + Guest. In the style of a wedding invitation. While this is certainly okay and understandable since Brian made the reservation, I am specifically reaching out to you, Kevin, Man Crocheter of Flying Fingers Yarn Shop, to make sure that my name is explicitly on the registration for the very reasonably priced crochet class that books up months in advance.

You see, Kevin, Brian is dynamic, persuasive and charming. Not only that, he is also quite devious. I would not put it past him to putthe spot of "guest" up on ebay to the highest bidder. It is obviousthat the crochet class is in hot demand and any number of NYC metrowannabe crocheters might be tricked into bidding money to be Brian's guest. While I am left at the Union Square Yarn Bus of Magical Mystery and Wonders stop staring in disbelief that my promised spot inyour crochet class has been snatched up by some trust funded girl wishing to step ever so slightly away from garter stitch fun fur scarves, Brian will laugh all the way to the bank.

Now, I love Brian like a brother. He is my best knitting pal, blogging partner and uncle to my two lovely dogs, Leroy (a chihuahua)and Macy (shih tzu puppy and official spokesdog of TK.BS**). I do not think that Brian would betray my trust and yours in such a way, but I am just hedging my bets.

You understand.

See you on Sunday!!

Love,

Bevin
Attorney at Law/Girl Knitter
*Local Yarn Shoppe
**http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com

Kevin to Bevin:

Rest assured, you are your own uniquely identified person in every case, not just a token to be swapped out willy-nilly.

The First J.C. Totally Knitting Meet-Up!

2005-02-23T15:41:00.000-05:00

Perhaps people might be interested in a knitting Me Me Me Me Me that Sooner and I have answered? Courtesy of one Jane D., major contributor to Knitflame, of course. Clickie.

Last night was the first ever official Totally Knitting Jersey City Meet-Up. As I live in Jersey City and I often drive Sooner's ass around, we chose to do it here. Plus, I like to meet fellow Jersey Citians since I am a columnist for a local paper and like to feel part of the community.

We met at Basic Coffee, promptly at 8 PM. We saw Sharon sitting at a table knitting away at a poncho (I know) and were instantly aware she was there for our Knitting Hang. We were joined by our other knitting friends very soon therafter. Sharon is a teacher working for a non-profit something or other in the city. Dawn is studying to get her real estate license and was working on a chunky scarf on big needles. Kristy was not there specifically for our Totally Knitting Jersey City Meet-Up but she was knitting at the cafe and we made her join us. She's going to Hudson Community College and was making a baby blanket for her neice, I'm not sure where she said the pattern was from but it looked lacy and marvelous. We even had another boy knitter (referring to gender not age), Raul. I forget what he does but it has something to do with Wall Street and he was making a cabled hat on circular needles. Sooner worked on his rose trellis bag using purple needles, while I worked on my Clapotis.

I feel as though I need to take this break to say that I was dubious about the Clapotis at first since absolutely every girl knitter on the internet has made one, but after seeing Peth and Yoko present their FOs at the last GGS* and then again seeing some completed internet versions I was drawn to it. So I got the yarn at our LYS** (pics and a marvelous essay to come tonight--STAY TUNED to TK.BS***) I am not entirely sure if I will love the Clapotis enough to keep it, but when I am done I may sell it to my mom at cost and make something else for myself. My mom would use the clapotis as a gift for someone and often commissions me to craft her things at cost plus something more.

We talked about a lot of things, including, but not limited to, a hearty debate regarding the lameness/coolness of the turtle shrug from scarf style, help with cabling and our lives and whatnot. I have noticed that many of the new members on the internet meet up group (link to join on the sidebar) have small dogs. It is mine and Sooner's hope that we can have a small dog/knitting Meet-Up in the future.

*Granny Girl Squad--the Totally Knitting Meet-Up, Philadelphia version
**Local Yarn Shoppe, Flying Fingers
***TotallyKnitting.Blogspot.Com

The Official Zygote of the Totally Knitting Unvierse

2005-02-22T05:41:00.000-05:00

Several months ago Sooner told me his only sibling announced her plan to try to conceive children, beginning in April. Christine later found out from the doc it was better for her, physically, to have them sooner rather than later. They have been attempting ever since. And by "attempting" to have a baby I want it to be made clear that I am completely aware that Sooner's sister is having a lot of sex.

My suggestion to Christine via Sooner insofar as conception is concerned, is to have sex every single day like it's their job. I heard this advice at a closing and the woman said every couple who did just that was pregnant in three months. As some of you may or may not know, I am a lesbian and this advice is completely lost on me, as when I try to get pregnant it will cost money each time and must be more scientific, especially when we get to baby number three, who I have already decided will be Haywood's eggs infested with our donor's sperm and implanted unto me. I think that the sex every day method is marvelous advice and if you can conceive for free, by all means I want people to succeed.

Anyway, Brian found out yesterday that his sister is two weeks pregnant. We are both very excited. Especially since the only friend I have who has had a baby is Lauren and she is in California and the rest of my friends are at least a couple of years off from babies and Haywood's brothers aren't due for any more until 2006 (again, at that time I will know that people are having a lot of sex).

This new life form is completely the Official Zygote of the Totally Knitting Universe. We have installed a countdown tracker at the bottom of the blog and posted here for instant gratification. We are asking that anyone who wishes to sponsor the Official Zygote and knit something for it or just send us yarn to knit something for it please do so.

My money is on a girl.

Days Until Sooner Unclefies

Ponchos: A Subscript

2005-02-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

While it is still the official position of TK.BS* that we hate all ponchos, we do not hate Lucia, designer of the dog poncho.

I recently received in my email a promotion from Lion Brand Yarn declaring the "man-cho" the next big thing. I am dubious.

*totallyknitting.blogspot.com

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Ponchos

2005-02-18T13:21:00.000-05:00

Yechhhhh!

Why?

Mean

Holy Mother of God's Goldfish on a Pogo Stick!

Glugggguhhh!

8-(

Splaaaaaargh!

Blechhh!

Unbelievable.

A Shame.

Holy Crap.

Misstep.

Scary.

Shudder Cubed.

It isn't her fault.

Proof.

The Dog Spinner

2005-02-17T02:25:00.000-05:00

Recall my Adventures with Ladyofyre. It was our correspondence that lead to my desire for one half skein eyelash yarn. An ad went out on knit list ads for a woman selling a box of novelty yarns, including one half skein eyelash yarn. I decided it was fate that I should purchase that box at that time and have been delighted by the result of my purchase. A whole box of wonders.

Anyway, along with the box of novelty yarns, I also purchased this woman's issue of VK* Winter '02. Having been pleased with my recent VK Winter '05 purchase, I figured at $3 it was a bargain if I liked even one of the patterns. Unfortunately, that issue did not arrive with the package of spectacular bargain novelty yarns.

When I let the seller know, she was very apologetic and put it in the mail right away and mentioned "I added a few extras for you!"

This morning I arrived at work to find that she had included the VK W'02, Family Circle Easy Knits September 1997, Cast On! The Magazine for Knitters both Holiday and Winter 1997. Eight years is enough to be vintage, let me assure you.

I brought the magazines with me to my dinner date with Sooner tonight. We were at the table at the Panera bread exploring the wonders within the covers ("OOH! This whole family has coordinating sweaters! How great!" "Sooner, I think you really need to own that interloping snow flake cardigan.") We also discussed at length the dangers of sweater knitting. What if you knitted a crosslane cabled sweater and it looks terrible on you? No matter whether or not something fits, sometimes it's just not flattering. It's not as though you can bring the sweater back to the LYS** and say it looks terrible, you'd like a refund on your yarn.

Anyway, I was looking at the ads and noticed that most of them didn't have websites, since it was 1997. One was for spinning someone's dog hair and cat hair into yarn.

I have been fascinated by this phenomenon since I began researching dog sweater patterns. It sort of freaks me out but of course I am drawn to it for it's freakishness. I do not wish to own anything knitted out of any of my animals, but I do think it would be funny to present this crazy gift to someone else. I instantly thought of my mother, who loves her granddog Macy. Macy is a shih tzu, very soft and glamorous. She would make a fine scarf or fingerless gloves if given the chance.

The woman's ad offered to make "catsmere" or "chien-ille". It had a phone number and an address. I thought that even though it was eight years old, her phone number probably hadn't changed. Plus, it was only 6 PM in Ohio.

DogSpinner: Hello?
Bevin: Hello, is this Fiber Works?
DS: Yes
Bevin: Um, do you still spin dog hair into yarn?
DS: After all these years, I'm still at it! HA HA!
Bevin: I am responding to your ad in the Holiday 1997 issue of Cast On! You know, the magazine for knitters?
DS: Oh. Well.
Bevin: Exactly how much would it cost to spin my puppy's hair into yarn? She's a shih tzu.
DS: It is fifteen dollars per ounce of workable yarn.
Bevin: Well, that sounds reasonable. How much hair do I need to send you? As many ounces as I want yarn?
DS: Pretty much. You'll collect her brushings, mostly from the soft undercoat, and send them in.
Bevin: What kind of yarn is it? See, I live in New Jersey and my mother lives in California and I was thinking that since she loves my dog so much she might want a little piece of Macy to keep with her at all times. It's so much better than a picture, you know?
DS: Sure. You could knit a shawl or scarf.
Bevin: Perhaps fingerless gloves.
DS: Of course.
Bevin: So do most people give you a haircut's worth of fur? Can I get the groomers to throw it in a baggie for me?
DS: Actually, it's a lot shorter that way and doesn't spin well. There's less workable fibers. The soft undercoat is what you're going for.
Bevin: So really I need to brush her and pull the stuff out of the brush.
DS: Exactly.
Bevin: So... I guess I will start collecting it. She's only 6.5 pounds, I'll probably have enough by Christmas.
DS: If you have some by next month I'll be at [some obscure knitting convention in PA I can't remember the name of].
Bevin: I hadn't even heard of that. But if I do end up going I'll bring Macy by for a consult.
DS: Sounds good!
Bevin: Thank you very much for the information. You have a great night.

Sooner's laugh was audible throughout the Panera Bread.

New F.O.s

2005-02-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

Well, it appears that Sooner and I have a big weekend ahead of us. Smiley's Yarns in Queens is having a sale. Also, our YARN BUS VOUCHERS are printed. For those of you visiting TK.BS from afar and need a little geography orientation, I live in Jersey City, which is just left of the Hudson River from NYC. I live downtown and can see the Statue of Liberty from my street, true story. Sooner lives just north of me in a rich Bergen County, NJ suburb. Queens is just on the other side of Manhattan from where Sooner lives. And Flying Fingers is allegedly just north of NYC (which means north even of the Bronx), and the yarn bus will take us there.

Since I have a digital camera and no image hosting right now, and Sooner has no digital camera but can host images, I have put many of my FOs in a webshots album and started one for Sooner. Soonikins has a tendency to give his knitted items away the second he finishes them, which is a problem for documenting, but I will do my best to capture them for everyone to see. He is a masterful knitter. He is feeling under the weather right now and asks that everyone tell Jane D. how much he loves her.

My FOs(updated).

Sooner's FOs(NEW!).

Cheap Yarn for Felting Recap

2005-02-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

I posted the below to the knitlist today, but thought readers of TK.BS would appreciate the joys of a felting roundup. Be sure not to miss Sooner's recent post just below this one!

Happy V-Day Knitlisters!

You may remember me from such posts as “I am looking for cheap yarn for felting, etc…” or “I need an obscure baby doll pattern from the 1970s, etc…” Or you may be more familiar with my blogging partner and best knitting pal, Brian Blaho, the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist (our blog is http://totallyknitting.blogspot.com).

I must say the knitlist rocks hardcore. The two questions I have posed have been answered (and then some!) right away and I have learned about so many new resources.

I am the luckiest girl in the world, as for Valentine’s Day I got a set of Denise circulars and two YARNTAINERS. I have only just started using circs, but knowing that I would continue to knit for years and reading about how people wished they’d made the investment (and based on the website’s claim of a savings of up to $1,000 over the life of the knitter on needle purchases) a long time ago I thought it would be a prudent request for a present. Thanks to my marvelous DSO* and Noble Knits, the yarn store closest to her that managed to find a set in California and ship them in time for my magical Valentines Day weekend o’ romance & knitting.

One thing I find especially helpful, knitlist-wise, is when answers to a question are summarized for future reference. I often save these emails so that I have them at my disposal.

Below, please find the responses to my request for bargain basement yarn for felting, including both on-list and off-list correspondence. Thanks to everyone who contributed to making this list as wonderous as it is.

Especially big thanks to her Honor Holly from CT, another legal knitter.

Cheap Yarn for Felting Purposes

(Sorted based on popularity of response.)

1. I have gotten great bargains in all kinds of yarn at elann.com

2. brown sheep's lamb's pride

3. Patons merino wool (about 5.50 a skein)—sometimes goes on sale at LCS**s

4. lopi (about 3.00 a sk, but a much smaller one)

5. Lopi Lite
6. Gjestal Naturgarn No. 1

7. Cascade 220

8. Smileysyarns.com (for Patons classic and others)

9. Classic Elite Waterspun
10. knitpicks.com
11. “My cheapest source of yarn is from thrift stores and garage sales. I check the labels on the sweaters and snap up anything that is 100% wool, then unravel it for projects. Since I felt it, the yarn being "curly" isn't a problem.”

I ended up doing research and bought six skeins from Lorien Yarns (www.alpacafleece.com) of Brown Sheep Lamb’s Pride Worsted. The owner was very helpful and had super speed turn-around. At 4.75 a skein it was by far the best price I found online. My next felted project is going to be the flower basket from VK*** Winter ’05 by the marvelous Nicky Epstein. Since it calls for a super chunky wool, upon consult with a felting expert I am going to triple-strand a worsted weight 100% wool from knitpicks.com, but know that I will have to wash it a few more times than a normal felted bag experiment. Triple stranding super cheap wool will cost me about $40 for this bag, whereas the next cheapest chunky wool was over $68.

Okay, much love and happy knitting from the luckiest girl in the world,

Bevin
Jersey City, NJ
http://totallynknitting.blogspot.com

*Darling Significant Other
**Local CRAFT Stores (like AC Moore and Treasure Island, etc…)
***Vogue Knitting

I ♥ Knitting Bitches Best

2005-02-14T10:12:00.000-05:00

6 days til the yarn bus. I'm tingly, you bastards. Tingly.

Recall my recent correspondence with the knitlist.

Recall also Joan in Eugene.

There exist a number of sister yahoo groups to the knitlist. There is one for posting ads, one for knitting scarves, one for sock knitting. There also exists a group called knitflame! Knitflame is a place where people from the knitlist, which is moderated, go to flame the people on the knitlist in an unmoderated forum. They make noise about only allowing genuine debate and forbidding personal attacks, but these rules are toothless tigers. Knitflame is a miracle of bitchiness.

Everytime I post to the knitlist I identify myself as "the boy knitter from the knitlist." I have also explicitly identified myself as "an adult male." The following was posted to knitflame about me shortly after my above referenced knitlist post.

From: "Tricoteh"
Subject: speechless (not quite)

You know, it's rare that I comment on the knitlist (though I will
confess that the survey thing pushed me rather close to the edge,
and I'm thankful that it was stopped).

But I wish the Knitter Boy would just go away.

Far away.

And it's Clapotis, not The Clap, folks. Do y'all have your minds in
the gutter?

Sheesh.

regards,
katherine
(surprisingly, not feeling much better after that)

~~~~~~

From: "l_izg"
Subject: Re: speechless (not quite)

The Knitter Boy may be a knitter, but I really, really doubt it's a
boy (or at least not one under highschool or early college age). And
apparently the list is no longer moderated because someone posted
their answers to the survey. And it wasn't even from someone on this
list.

Liz

~~~~~~

From: "mamorel1"
Subject: knitter boy

Liz wrote "The Knitter Boy may be a knitter, but I really, really
doubt it's a boy (or at least not one under highschool or early
college age)."

Apparently the most obnoxious one is real, and a blogger.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/2955310

Mary, in Arizona, who will never go looking for bloggers again.

~~~~~~

From: Robin
Subject: Re: knitter boy

who will never go looking for bloggers again.

Amen. A very strange enchanted boy. No wait, that's a song. Just a hunch.
His posts will become more frequent and twice as smarmy.

Does Blaho rhyme with a'hole? Just supposin.

Robin

~~~~~~

From: "l_izg"
Subject: Re: knitter boy

According to this profile, he's 31 which proves my point - he's male,
but not a boy (which I think of as a child).

Liz

and yes, I know it doesn't really matter how old this guy is, what
matters is how fast I can scroll past his message.

~~~~~~

From: janeasc@a...
Subject: Re:Knitter Boy

Couldn't resist, so I checked out his blog. That is one crazy dude! I was
very relieved not to find my blog on his list.

Jane D.

So a couple of things. First, yes, if you mangle it a little, Blaho does rhyme with a'hole. Let me put that controversey to rest. The vowel sounds are the same, though the l at the end of hole is a significant rhyming problem.

Second, I cannot belive I have been so totally exposed! I mean, here I am hiding my age because I want people to think I'm a child so that I can show up at some kind of knit party and totally not be a child and then go, "HA! I totally fooled you, you stupid head! You thought I was a child, but I'm totally not! I'm a grown up! HA!" Now that can join "being an astronaut" and "making out with River Phoenix" on my pile of dreams that will never come true.

Third, can you even believe that Jane D. person? She is so self important that she thinks that of all the knitting blogs in the entire blogosphere I may have sought out hers, and fallen so head over heels in love with it that I had to link to it forthwith, and then she expresses her extreme relief that tk.bs* links her not! Whew! Jane D. totally dodged a bullet on that one I can tell you.

Or did she?

My blogging partner, Bevin, totally tracked down Jane D.'s blog. Here it is at Quiddity. Wowee! What a blogger! What a knitter! What a blogger-knitter! And you know what? She is the greatest knitter-blogger in the history of the world. She totally is and I am hereby declaring Jane D. officially the most favoritest blog of all blogs here at TK.BS*.

So leave Jane D. a note or a comment. Be sure to tell her that Sooner sent ya.

Lastly, it is now my official goal to become a star on knitflame. A total flamey star. This will, of course, require antics.

*totallyknitting.blogspot.com

Knitty Gritty & Crocheting

2005-02-13T23:12:00.001-05:00

I have a new FO*. It is a Coffee Cup Cuddly thing. I'll post a picture soon. I made it for my mom's girlfriend Pat's birthday (along with a starbucks gift card and some sort of stamp collector thingy). More details below.

Knitty Gritty is a show on DIY that stars Vickie Howell, someone Sooner does not like but that I am drawn to because she has red hair that flips like mine. She begins each episode by introducing her "knitsters", a group of changing people who knit while the project is being explained. There is one episode where she gives googly eyes to one of them (a girl musician on the guitar strap episode). Anyway, then they go into the project, showing techniques blah blah blah using a knitty cam where it zooms in on their hands from above so you can see how they make marvelous things happen. There are also various knit bits that are sometimes magical (bamboo and soy can make yarn!) or sometimes useless (let's watch vickie put a ball of yarn in a tupperware container and cut a hole in the top!). The show overall is lameish, but there are always diamonds in the rough. I learn one quality thing during every episode.

Anyway, the pattern for the coffee cup holder calls for a single crochet border. As Sooner and I consider crochet an inferior fiber art (TM), but have recently begun to be swayed the other way, I haven't yet learned how to do a single crochet blah blah thingy. So I tried using the "chrocheting for knitters" guide in Stitch N Bitch. The illustrations and explanations didn't really help for using crochet to border something previously woven.

I was going to call Dewey in as a last resort and save my project until after my next trip to Philadelphia (where Dewey the crochetrix lives) or after my next trip to Flying Fingers Yarn Shoppe. However, there was an explanation in one of the episodes of Knitty Gritty that I had cached on my DVR. And I was completely saved. In the guitar strap episode Vickie totally uses the knitty cam to do a single crochet border. I watched it, rewinding a couple of times, and came away a crocheter. Amazing.

The coffee cup holder was my first episode with DPNs** and it was mega weird. I will probably try to do all circular projects on circular needles where possible. I also did some striping and fair isle on it, so that might be where it got sort of funny. I also had to do some major math, as I used worsted weight yarn and bigger needles (by the way, on size 5 needles with ww yarn I suggest casting on 40 stitches and doing a couple less rounds).

I hope Pat likes it!

*Finished Object
**Double Pointed Needles (method of knitting using three needles in a round so that you make a tube)

Our Solemn Pledge

2005-02-09T16:41:00.000-05:00

Last night before Sooner and I had our knitting Hang, I was at my house searching for my baggie of knitting supplies. It has scissors, a crochet hook, stitch markers, whathaveyou. I couldn't find it. I can't decide if that is because Haywood is moving in and my apartment is even more disasterous than usual or if it is because I have so many UFOs* going on.

Sooner and I pledged that prior to beginning any other knitting projects, we will create two FOs**. This will be hard, for sure, because Sooner and I are not very attention span oriented people.

Plus, while waiting around for my boss to talk to me yesterday, I made a list of my future projects, and they numbered over 15. I have a lot of knitting to do.

*Unfinished Objects
**Finished Objects

In other news, I was denied entrance into the Christian Knitters Society. Please see below correspondence to explicate this travesty.

I applied for membership last Friday. I received this comment on our blog.

HI... As soon as you put the code for the ring on your site you will be added to the ring. :-)Glad to have you join us.Debbie <><>

I let Debbie know that we had ringed up, I even dedicated an entry unto her. I received the following email.

Hi.. The code needs to be in your side bar so it is a permanent fixture not in a post.I am not sure about your site yet as you seem to be making fun of Jesus."Jesus said men should knit."????"Jesus so loved the sheep"????

Dear Christian Knitters:

As you know I do all my knitting for Jesus and in his name. However, my blogging partner, Sooner, is without God. He is dynamic and persuasive and charming so it is my belief that once he finally accepts Jesus into his heart as his personal Lord and Savior he will be a dynamic force for the Lord and save many souls. I am trying every day to be a conduit through which the Lord may speak unto him, and so far my prayers remain unanswered. Your prayers would beappreciated.

I initially put the ring on the sidebar but Sooner insisted that I take it down. The compromise we reached was that I put it in an entry. I would like to proclaim Totally Knitting (TM) as a placewhere we explore WWJK* in a positive environment. It is my hope to soon intarsia a dog sweater with the visage of the Lamb so that wherever my precious Shih Tzu, Macy, wears it, she passes on the Good News. Please consider our membership.

I do not believe that I am making fun of Jesus, instead, simply, having fun WITH JESUS. Isn't that the point? Wasn't He a fun-loving guy?

With sincerest wishes that you see fit to let us into your ilk,

Bevin
TotallyKnitting.blogspot.com
*What Would Jesus Knit

HI.

I agree that we can have fun. I just needed to know more about you. I want this to be a ministry as well as blogging fun. If the code is not in the sidebar, people will not be able to surffrom site to site which is what a ring is for. As a post, it will soon get archived and the links are broken. You can put just the Next and previous parts of the ring of the codewith the words "Christian Knitters ring". If you want to just join our google group, you can.http://groups-beta.google.com/group/ChristianKnittersno code needed...I can pray.

Thanks,

Debbie

Before I even had a chance to appeal to her, I received the following email.

After much thought and concern for other ring members, I am denyingyou membership into the ring. The foul language written by youco-blogger is not conducive to the purpose of our ring.I am sorry and hope he comes to the Lord.

Sincerely,

Debbie <><>

I was understandably outraged, so I sent the following to Sooner, trying to be as Christian as I could be under the circumstances.

Brian.

It seems as though you have JUST COST US MEMBERSHIP into the ChristianKnitters Ring.

xoxo,

Bevin

Do you intend to file a motion for reconsideration with Debbie? "What if I can control him? What if I get him to use *$&%&^^ instead of bullshit? What if in the future Sooner comes to the Lord and becomes a dynamic force for changing souls? Then can we be member number 17?"

B

I am unsure what my next steps should be and I await some sort of divine inspiration to direct me.

Our Favorite LYS* Explained

2005-02-08T16:07:00.000-05:00

Recall that Flying Fingers Yarn Shop is totally the official LYS* of TK.BS**. This is archived correspondence helping to explain why.

Dear Elise or Kevin or both,

(If you are a webmaster and not Elise or Kevin or both, please immediately forward to Elise or Kevin or both as I would like a personalized response only.)

By way of introduction my name is Brian Blaho and I am totally a boy knitter and you may recognize me as the official boy-knitter from the knit-list. I am writing not only on my behalf, but also on behalf of my best knitting friend Bevin, who is totally fabulous and also a lawyer-knitter. She has begun to make many lawyer/judge-knitting contacts and I believe her knitting passion will totally lead to a great deal of wealth and prestige as she networks up the power knitting ladder.

We both live in the area and saw your ad in the latest and very hot edition of Bust. Thank you for supporting alterna-media.

I have two questions, Elise or Kevin or both. First, Bevin and I are considering branching out into the marvelous world of felting. Because we are begina-felters we are concerned about investing too much money in an endeavor that may fail, however remote that possibility. Also we totally love bags and want many of them, especially the felted kind, but none with hearts or stars or stripes or that kind of cutsey bullshit. We want to make felted bags with alien heads and skulls with crossbones. You understand. So my question for you, Elise or Kevin or both, is this: do you carry a relatively inexpensive yarn in multiple colors that you would recommend for felting purposes? We both totally hope you do.

Seond, because we believe in being prepared and also because we have not yet been to Flying Fingers we would like to know if your shop is a place for browsing and shopping only, or do you have a communal knitting area with sofas and soft chairs and the like that we may use to work on projects and chat with other knitters.

Finally we would like to know if you discriminate against crochet-people just because they practice an inferior fiber art. As you know, crochet is merely the art of making a giant knot that lays flat. Those freaks may as well be sailors for their knot making ability, but we do not believe they should be discriminated against because they are trying to make something beautiful even if they are destined to fail.

Please get back to me ASAP as Bevin and I would totally like to plan our trip to Flying Fingers for some time in the near future.

Your Pal,
The Boy Knitter of the Knitlist,
Brian

~~~~~~

Hi, Boy Knitter Brian,

I am Kevin, Man Crocheter of the Flying Fingers Yarn Shop. I also knit, but I am much better known for making flat knots than making flat mesh, though I like to think both are often beautiful.

I tend to stay away from the hearts and stars bullshit and also from the skulls and bones bullshit. We have many yarns that felt beautifully. In fact, I have taught a finger-crochet felted hat workshop where everyone left with a workable hat to go home and felt. We have Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride Worsted which is one of the world's best felting yarns in about 50 colors. We also have a 50% soy, 50% wool (though in tragically limited supply) Gianna from South West Trading Co. that makes outrageous felts. You have to get up here to see!

Felting is actually really easy, though always a bit of a crap shoot. Elise has probably hand felted more knit wear than any living person, since she's sold her own hand-knitted felted hat designs for the last fifteen years at craft shows in the city. We have space to sit and hang, by the way, including two red cozy tea sofas Elise found at a garage sale and refinished in bright red.

We're 150 yds from the Irvington train station or we can pick you up on the Yarn Bus. Check the web site for details or give us a call.

- Kevin or Elise or both

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin of the Crochet,

I have decided that based on the tone of your reply the Flying Fingers Yarn Shop will definitely become my official LYS*. This is despite the fact that you are not into skull and crossbones bullshit. I'm finishing up some projects currently in progress, but I'll visit Flying Fingers, my official LYS, as soon as I need to pick up new supplies. Perhaps I will sign up for a crochet class? Who can say for certain as I'm still dubious.

Delighted to make your acquaintence,
Brian

* Local Yarn Shop

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin or Elise or both or Agent of Kevin or Elise or Both,

I would like to book two vcuchers for the yarn bus.

Both passengers need to use the Union Square stop.

Please book us on any Sunday morning beginning February 20 until you can get us two confirmed vouchers. We prefer the latest drop off, but any drop off is acceptable.

Thanks,

Brian
The Boy Knitter of the Knitlist

~~~~~~

We have you both booked on Sun. Feb. 20th 10:00am, returning on the 4:00pm shuttle. You'll get your e-vouchers a couple of days before hand.

We also just had a couple of spaces open up on this Sat. 1:30pm, Jan. 22, if you're interested.

Thanks. Looking forward to meeting you!

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin,

Ok, I am totally not trying to be a pain or anything. However, I made this yarn bus request two days ago but then yesterday my friend Bevin and I discovered the registration for your crochet workshop on Feb 27, 2005. So we instantly mailed in our registration forms and are hoping that we will be able to secure two seats in your course.

But, and here is the part where you roll your eyes, the crochet course is one week after our requested yarn bus date. Will it be possible to change our yarn bus reservation to coincide with your crochet course if we get in? And, follow me here, not change our yarn bus reservation if we do not get into your crochet course?

That is to say we'd like you to not only teach us to crochet for free (plus cost of supplies) but also to truck our asses out to Irvington for free at the same time. I trust that if anyone can make this happen it is you, Kevin Crochet, the knot-maker we look up to most.

Thanks for being accomidating if in fact you are able to be accomidating. If not, then as Fonzie might say "sit on it!" Flying Fingers is still my favorite LYS* and my LYS of choice.

Brian

* Local Yarn Store

~~~~~~

Boy-Knitter,
Not painful at all, but I cannot accommodate you either. My crochet workshops fill up in a few days after the brochure goes out, so it's all filled up. I can put you on the waiting list so you are sure to get in for the next session (sometime in April). They are not really all that special, but popular (and fun), none the less. Like I say in the brochure, "go figure". So, since you did explain yourself quite clearly, I have left your reservations intact for Feb 20th.

- Kevin

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin,

SIT ON IT!

Brian the OBKOTKL*

*Official Boy Knitter of the Knit List

I'm totally looking forard to yarn shenanigans IRL***.

* Local Yarn Shoppe
** TotallyKnitting.blogspot.com
*** In Real Life

Sooner played hooky from work because of yarn

2005-02-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday I was experimenting with a different way home from work (in North Jersey) that ended up winding me through Newark right by Sooner's law library. I needed to make a 4 PM appt in my New York City office, but could completely have a lunch date with Soonikins. We decided that instead of having a date where we ate out, he would sneak out of the library and come with me to Jersey City where we would have left overs for lunch and USE OUR LUNCH MONEY TO BUY YARN.

He came with me to the closing, sat in my office and admired the view from the 46th floor of the Empire State Building, making copies of the patterns he liked out of my copy of Stitch n Bitch Nation. I sat in the conference room with the most annoying clients in the history of the world.

I was done by 4:45, though, and we set off to the LYS* on Madison Ave and 36th Street, The Yarn Connection. I was somewhat unimpressed, since we weren't greeted and it was small and sort of smelly--both owners were totally involved in helping an older lady decide what yarns to buy. There also really wasn't a place to sit.

The yarn selection was good in that there were many different yarns, but bad in that there wasn't really a quantity of good colors available. I ended up buying something, since it was no sales tax week in NYC (8 1/2% savings) and I found the very perfect yarn for making skull & crossbones wristbands for Haywood for valentine's day. It is a lovely and soft cashmere/merino blend, one skein each red and black. I couldn't get 100% cashmere as I'd wanted because it was $98 a skein and I love my GF but I don't love $200 worth of wristbands.

Sooner showed complete yarn buying restraint.

We then took the train down to Knit New York and met Peter, a barista, who does not know how to knit. I said "Greetings Fellow Knitster" and he disclosed this information, despite the stockinette stich logo on his chest. Sooner and I suggested he might flirt with the lady knitsters and get them to knit things for him.

Sooner, again, bought no yarn and simply read knitting books while I worked on my felted bag and fell in love with a couple of designs from Family Circle's Easy Afghans. A future purchase, to be sure.

He got invited to "Boyz" night at Knit New York again. We have decided that when he goes I will go in drag. And work on my ruffles.

This one is for ><>Deb<><

2005-02-07T16:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Deb:

Here is the ring html you asked for:

^{Powered by RingSurf}

Jesus said that you are supposed to get other men to knit. Or something along those lines, I saw it on the side of a van today.

Sextastic

2005-02-04T21:37:00.000-05:00

Sooner has been on a total yarn diet, which is completely admirable. When we first started knitting, he would buy yarn "just to have" and I would go only for projects and return that which I did not use. Now it's the opposite. I find the yarn, I see the potential... and, unfortunately, I was in the NJ office all day on Monday which meant entirely too much time on Ebay, with a side dish of buyer's remorse happening 4 days later.

So I bought this pile of snowflake yarn from someone. One skein highlighter yellow, two skeins fleece blue and one skein black. I see no potential in this yarn, but I won it for such a STEAL... I got it today and it smells like the '70s. I totally bought attic yarn, which I should have expected, but still... If anyone has any suggestions either for the use of said snowflake yarn or how to rid it of attic smell in a clever, kitty proof way, please let me know.

I won an auction from LADYOFYRE today!! That Lot of Yarn Brushed Colors-C My Other Auctions is all mine for $3.25. Shipping has yet to be determined, but I've decided that we have no contract for shipping costs, so I will make her use my corporate Fed Ex account and she'll have to COD. I wonder if she'll argue it? I do have a plan for all of my Ladyofyre bids... as my good friends Erica and Amy are getting hitched in May and I am going to make them a wedding sampler afghan. I've already decided the border is going to be the numerals in Pi as long as I can go to border the blanket (Amy gave Erica a Pi numerals ring for an anniversary). I think I may even intarsia the image of Beaner, Amy's black and white cat.

And Jesus So Loved the World HE Created Sheep

2005-02-04T18:53:00.000-05:00

Hello to you!! Well, we here at Totally Knitting are looking forward to the inspection and approval from the ringmaster for the Christian Knitters Community. In the meantime, I am greatly enjoying reading the various blogs that are members of the group. Here is a survey graciously provided by our Christian Sister at Knit Haven. Praise the Lord.

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer high- and/natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

Sooner and I are both acrylic-core. I do love cashmere, though. But, as a rule, I try to keep knitting costs down as much as possible. Plus, machine washer and dryer safe, HELLO!! ;)

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

We both feel that the creation of flat knots is an inferior fiber art, but have recently begun to rethink our position, due to the influence of Dewey, the crocheter/crosssticher member of the Granny Girl Squad. Also, Kevin, the Man Crocheter of Flying Fingers Yarn Shop.

I heart sheep but do not spin. My landlord is very forgiving, but not forgiving enough to allow me to raise sheep in the front yard.

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)

Just to people who do not accept Jesus Christ as their Personal Lord and Saviour.

4. How long have you been knitting?

I knitted last summer and back when I was 10, but I picked it up in November, shortly after Sooner did.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

Naturally, and many knitting books reside thereon.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

New Jersey

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yes, and I remind Sooner herein that we were meaning to sample hershey's kisses with caramel recently.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

Cook. Clean. Barefoot in the Kitchen Activities. Also, paper mache costumery.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I usually listen to Classic Country Duets and I also enjoy NPR, specifically Fresh Air. Sooner enjoys the above, but also listens to Air America more than I do, which makes him a better person. What's an MP3?

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer?

Glitter. Sooner hearts red, blue, yellow and green. Those are "his colors". Not to be confused with "His colors", which are the rainbow--ALL colors.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

Sooner: Victoria, Albert
Bevin: Haywood, Macy, Leroy, Kaia, Lily, Pepe

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)

Unlike Knitting Haven, I can't see Avon being my full-time gig just yet. I hope to go to library school in the fall to become an information professional. Right now I'm just a real estate lawyer. I'd love to go into sales, though.

Sooner and I have talked about opening a yarn store/coffee shop/law office/doggie day care in Jersey City. Maybe if we can get the capital together...

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?

Cashmerino. Sooner enjoys TLC Simply Soft

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

100% wool. Small price to pay for felted bags, though.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?

Dog or Jesus Intarsia. Sooner: Afghans, cabling, whathaveyou

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?

Dog sweaters, they are fast and cute.

17. What are you knitting right now?

See below post for what I have OTN. Sooner should also do such a post.

18. What do you think about ponchos?

Too many people knit them and they don't look good on anyone.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?

No preference

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

Bamboo

21. Are you a sock knitter?

February is the sock along.

22. How did you learn to knit?

A book

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

5 weeks. Cow Pillow.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

Strong Bad.

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Jesus' Birthday and my birthday.

26. Is there anything that you collect?
Marilyn Monroe purses, crosses, and other christians to knit with! ;)

Armchair Shrink

2005-02-04T16:22:00.000-05:00

My colleague recently had occasion to look over TK.BS* and was fascinated with the ongoing correspondence between Bevin and I and Joan in Eugene. She has offered a theory regarding Joan's psyche that I feel is particularly insightful so I share it with you now.

Initially I believed Joan was merely a woman who needed to have the final word. As you know in any scripted program the "winner" of a confrontation ends the encounter with a zinger so profound that the "loser" of the confrontation is shocked into stunned silence. Many people believe this should happen in real life. I thought Joan in Eugene to be one of those people. Therefore I suggested to Bevin, and she agreed, that we should leave Joan in Eugene alone, at least for a little while.

However, after stewing over it for a lunch hour or so my colleague said to me, "you know I think her initial tone was taken only because she believed you to be a teen and it was intended as a rebuff from adult to child. As soon as she found out you were 'all man' she got defensive and that's why she's being so very Joan in Eugene."

Brilliant and clearly accurate.

*totallyknitting.blogspot.com

She completely hates the player most

2005-02-03T22:18:00.000-05:00

Recall Brian's earlier correspondence with our fair Joan of Eugene, OR.

He received the following reply from Joan:

Sooner to me: I think she already hates the game and has totally moved on to players.

Joan to Sooner, quoting his email:

I am, as you know, just a boy.

Yeah, sure. Of course you are!
http://www.blogger.com/profile/2955310

As you may notice, Joan completely listed a link to Sooner's profile here on blogspot. We think she must have googled him. I mean, it's the only way she could have found Sooner's profile, since on the knitlist he goes by his Jesus-given name.

It is unclear from that email whether Joan was referring to Sooner's lack of "youth" or potentially calling into question his gender. I decided to clear up some of the confusion by sending her my own email.

Dearest Joan from Oregon:

I am Bevin, from the knitlist. You might remember me from such postings as "Does anyone have a baby doll pattern etc..." and "I wantto make many felted bags but not pay a lot of money for wool etc...".You may also have read my totally happening knitting blog, totallyknitting.blogspot.com.

I am Brian's (aka "The Boy Knitter of the Knitlist") blogging partnerand best knitting pal and partner in crime and whatnot. I spend a great deal of time with Brian and, let me assure you, he is all man.

I hope this clears up any confusion you might have had about the BoyKnitter of the Knitlist.

Sincerely,

Bevin
Jersey City, NJ

P.S. OTN* Ruffles, from Scarf Style, in light blue cashmerino; 3 heads of totally bumpin' Alien Illusion scarf from SnB** vol. 1 in green andblack acrylic mill ends; my constant companion felted bag in lamb'spride worsted red & black from http://www.knitkit.com/MyConstantCompanion.htm; Skull wristbands in pink and olive fingering weight merino; Cabled Chihuahua sweater pattern of my own design in Lion Brand thick and quick Wheat.

*On the Needles
**Stich n Bitch

It is unclear whether Joan responds to everyone on the knitlist with a sense of humor. I was delighted to receive the following reply from Joan less than 3 hours later. (Again, she quotes my correspondence unto her.)

You might remember me from such
postings as "Does anyone have a baby doll pattern etc..." and "I want
to make many felted bags but not pay a lot of money for wool etc...".

Yeah, that totally really rings a bell...........(snort)

You may also have read my totally happening knitting blog, totallyknitting.blogspot.com

Sorry, I haven't spent much time checking out blogs. I have an older computer and a dial-up connection so downloading takes lots of time. When I can retire in a few years, then there might be time.

............. let me assure you, he is all man.

That was my point.

I hope this clears up any confusion you might have had about the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist.

I had no confusion. It was the pretense to being a teenager that annoyedme. Why the sham?
One can be a knitter, and a funny one at that, withoutthe cloyness. It's obvious that you have/he has writing talent. Turn it togood use and you'll have way more listers fawning over you than with thecutsie pie stuff. Unless your goal was to turn 'em off.

Sincerely,

Bevin
Jersey City, NJ

Likewise, I'm sure
-JoanEugene, OR

I would just like to point out that Brian got OVER 45 responses to his sock question. OVER 45 in 2 days, and all but a very few mentioned how much they enjoyed his post. HELLO! Earth to Curmudgeons, Joan may be your spokesperson but there is definitely a sock-making cutsie pie loving subculture on the knitlist. Welcome friends.

More about the dog breed intarsia

2005-02-03T17:13:00.000-05:00

After I received word back that I could get a chihuahua chart for $6 and a shih tzu face chart for $3.50 I emailed Haywood, asking if I made a sweater with the visage of a chihuahua would she wear it.

"bevin:we've been dating for 2 years now. i think you should know the answer to this question. if you don't know the answer, it makes me a little bit sad. regardless, just in case you don't know the answer...........you couldn't pay me enough money to wear a knitted sweater with a dog pattern on it!!!!!!!!!i mean i love my dogs.......and sometimes i'm crazy about them........but i will NEVER get to the point where i'm capable of wearing a knitted sweater with their faces on it...........there's just something wrong with that...........-haywood"

My sweet, dearest darling SO*, Haywood:
I really think you need to give this dog sweater thing a shot. Honestly, you own approximately 50 mechanics shirts. Many of which have very interesting and punk rock designs, including but not limited to much bowling paraphanalia. What I'm saying is that you wear bowling things as kitsch. What should stop you from wearing a SHIH TZU/CHIHUAHUA intarsia cardigan as kitsch? Both mechanics shirts and cardigans have buttons and pockets, it's just that the cardigan pockets ride a little lower. And are way more comfy/cuddly. I urge you to give this a real shot and not dismiss it right away. Dog sweaters are not just for Nanas anymore.
With much love and admiration for your style,
Bevin
*Significant Other