Friday, March 18, 2005

For the Record, Brian is a Real Boy

The following was posted to the KnitFlame list today:

----- Original Message -----
" I am Brian, boy* knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame"

I'm beginning to wonder if he thinks he's the only male knitter on theknitlist. The way he posts it sounds like he does. i would *so* bet you that it's not that he sees himself as the only male knitter -- it's that he sees himself as a *b0y* knitter. i have a friend* who's very much into the SMBD scene & refers to herself as a "boi". i've gathered that the term denotes a butch lesbian who's a submissive & who likes to playgames with a father/son twist (even when the father is a femme lesbian). she likes lots of punishment, but i don't know if that's a standard part of that scenario. anyway, i wouldn't be surprised to find that our self-centered egomaniac is of a similar persuasion. some people have very complex boats to float.

lea bob

* she's not so much a close friend anymore. we used to have lots ofdiscussions regarding research, renaissance england & what store had the bestfabric/rhinestones/trim/metal bits for costumes. once she came out of thecloset** & got into the SMBD scene, all she wanted to talk about was being a sub& giving the details of her sex life. frankly, there's not many details that iwant to know about other people's sex lives no matter what kind of sex they'rehaving, or with whom.

** her "coming out" was rather anticlimactic since the rest of us had peggedher as a lesbian long before. we just thought that she was discrete about it.little did we know. once she decided to officially admit being a lesbian, shecouldn't shut up about the details. we found out that she hadn't been discrete;she'd been repressed &, when her mother died, she cut loose in a big way. imean, she didn't so much come out of the closet as she exploded into a non-stop,no-holds-barred, detailed, constant discussion of lesbian sex, bondage,discipline, and -- well, the kind of sexual games that leave you thinking, " sweet. god. are you saying that people really *do* that? and enjoy it?!!."suddenly we were all faced with a 52-year old, overweight, badly groomed,coke-bottle glasses-wearing, badly dressed lesbian with a lousy haircut & no"mute" button. imagine how entertained we all were when she managed (she's gota big voice) to take over an entire party & regale us with all the details ofher newly-discovered sexual gameplaying. you've never seen so many peoplezipping past their hostess with a muttered, "hadagreattime, delightfulparty,gottago". and you've never seen a more horrified look on a hostess' face whenshe realized that, not only was the entire party bailing on her, she'd offeredDonna a place to stay for the weekend. and we, chickenshits that we were,shamelessly left her standing there while we rushed to our blessedly quiet,Donna-less homes. i heard later that she managed to stay drunk most of theweekend.

Below, please find my response, posted to KnitFlame:

Dear LeaBob:

I am Bevin. You may remember me from such things as I was riding the yarn bus and was completely interviewed by the New Yorker and my post to the Clapotis Knitalong that indicated that I thought the whole thing was overrated.

Brian, the Boy Knitter of the Knitlist, Star of Knitflame and the person you refer to in the below-referenced post to Knitflame, is my blogging Partner in Crime, best knitting pal and a good friend of mine.

I know that much of our lives is shrouded in mystery. Yes, we are super stars and yes, that makes you want to know more about us and speculate--especially on the very speculative and insightful forum, Knitflame. However, I want to let you know that your post was completely off-base and sort of lame, both in fact and in implication. I do not want to forget to mention that it was also offensive.

You see, Lea Bob, Brian is a biological boy. He was born with XY chromosomes and as far as I know has identified as a male person his whole entire life. As Joan in Eugene has completely pegged, Brian has identified himself as the "Boy" Knitter of the knitlist in an attempt to be "cutsie pie". He is a charming man and is prone to being the center of attention at parties, not because he has no "mute" button, but because he is a very nice and funny person and people enjoy speaking with him. He and I both have seen the knitlist as a group of people who may appreciate a cleverly-worded email now and again. I know for a fact that Brian knows he is not the only boy on the knitlist, as Rodney from Palo Alto, CA has contacted him regarding the leagues of male knitters that mostly lurk.

I am not going to address your specific implications about Brian's sex life but let me just assure you all that unless you are a dorky boy and identify as gay you will not have a piece of his sweet sweet ass. But I bet Brian will find it sexy that you used a footnote within a footnote in your post.

Lea Bob, I am also a member of the gay and lesbian community, but as I am a girl I am in the opposite camp of my friend Brian. But, unlike Brian, I have been a lot more active in the LGBT community and, it's fair to say, know a broader-based group of queer people.

I do know what a "boi" is, as you incorrectly termed it in your email. A "boi" is sometimes used in the S/M community to refer to someone who biologically may be male or female and identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or anything on that spectrum but generally prefers the submissive end of role playing. A "boi" is also a term sometimes adopted by genderqueers as a label for gender identity, that they identify as more masculine but not neccesarilty as a man. This is incredibly oversimplified, but I felt needed to be addressed.

Lea Bob, I think you have given us way too many details about your friend (or former friend, if I read your post right) in order to make your point about Brian potentially being a kinky butch lesbian and not a male knitter trying to entertain older women on an email list by being cutsie pie.

But I will say this about Donna, I am happy for her that she has found a community she identifies with and finds support in. It is certainly obvious she wasn't getting that from your circle of friends.


Jersey City, NJ

OTN: Heirloom Baby Blanket Sampler from VK Baby Blankets on the Go II, in acrylic lavender.


Zanti said...

Fucking brilliant!

yoko said...

Way to go, Bevin! Well said!

illanna said...

That was amazing.

Anonymous said...

Interestingly, your post took nearly 12 hours before it appeared on the "soi dissant" unmoderated KnitFlame.

Those who are curious, to see time stamps, see Bevin's post:
Time stamp 5:19 pm Friday.

Then click "previous" to see 6:36 am Saturday.

freddyknits said...

I am dumbfounded. Brilliant reply, Bevin. I heart both of you.

sooner said...

Dear Leabob,

For the record, even if you are a dorky boy and identify as gay you will still never get a piece of my sweet, sweet ass.

Brian, boy* knitter of the knitlist and star of knitflame

* boy is used here to indicate gender only and should not be used to infer unstated facts regarding age.

ratty said...

dear brian and bevin,

i totally heart both of your sweet asses, and am also totally jealous of your snappy-response-to-stupid-post skillz.