Thursday, February 03, 2005

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game

Recall my recent correspondence with the knitlist.

Last night I received the following in my inbox.

Too bad that your considerable physical "prowess" doesn't extend to cerebral. Think of it as a story problem in math. If 56 sts = 8" sock, how many sts = 10" or whatever girth your feet measure? Then bump the other #s of sts by the same percentage when it comes time to shape the heel. The length can bedone by measurement.

I understand that there is a good, basic book by Ann Budd/Interweave Press that details all kinds of basic knitting patts for sweaters, socks, etc, so that you can find your gauge and measurements on a gridded chart to get specific #s of sts. I don't know the exact title, but if you check Amazon or google for her name, you can probably find it.

Joan in Eugene, OR

PS - In the future you're much more likely to get good, helpful info if you drop the "cutsie-pie" stuff.


Dear Joan in Eugene,

Thank you for the thoughtful and detailed reply to my request for help despite my request being all cutsie-pie and whatnot. I suppose I just didn't yet understand the actual construction of socks and now that you have given me a more cerebral grasp of them I'm sure I can tackle any problems that arise. I'm made all the more confident as I am now armed with the your advice and a slide rule.

I pledge unto you, Joan in Eugene, that from this point forward I will make every attempt to be dour and curmudgeonly about knitting as is only right even though this is directly contrary to my personality. Knitting is not fun; it's totally serious. Like work or disease or war. Please be patient with me if I post to the KL* again in the near future as I will be struggling with the new knitting paradigm you have provided and I may slip. I am, as you know, just a boy.

Thank you again for your help. I will post photos of my finished socks as soon as they are done. Tonight I cast on my very first, very serious project on double pointed needles. I'm a little nervous about all those needles at once, but I know I can do it. Wish me luck, Joan in Eugene!

Completely Somber in New Jersey,


P.S. My local library had a copy of the Ann Budd book you recommended, The Knitter's Handy Book of Patterns, and it is very detailed and helpful. If I get addicted to sock knitting, as I expect I may, I'll undoubtedly have to buy my own copy. Thank you for the suggestion.



Anonymous said...

That's the way to put those serious knitters in their place! Way to go. Have to second the Ann Budd recommend - I have turned a heel with her help. No actual sock yet, but a heel.

Thanks for the laugh.

TitaniumRose said...

As another person with large feet I applaud your willingness to ask the hard questions and get help in making socks that will fit properly. I am a member (newly) of Knitlist and would not have been at all offended by your message. I found it thoroughly hilarious actually. Thank you for making me laugh! I don't think I could deal with knitting if I had to be serious all the time. Afterall, it's just playing with yarn. =)

with warm large sock snuggles from a fellow blogger,

Shasta said...


Anonymous said...

Too bad Joan's prowess does not extend to thorough Internet searching. (/end snark)
Perhaps I'll have to see if I can find that book at the local library. I'm so nervous about starting the socks!

Oh, and I love how your acronyms have the * and footnote. Very cutesie-pie. You guys rock.

Anonymous said...

grr. sorry-- that last comment was from me.


ratty said...

you have just made my otherwise serious and boring afternoon much more fun. thanks sooner & bevin!

lucia said...

Dearest Sooner,
You may remember me as "the one whose dog sweater pattern generator is published in some miscellaneous page in Stitch and Bitch but who only discovered that last Month" or from my recent blog correspondence with Bevin, entitled, "Three Strikes"

Whoa is me! I did not read your request for sock patterns for humongous feet when you posted back in February. I would, of course, have suggested you visit my Argyle Sock Pattern Generator.You can visit, enter your foot size, gauge and create the sock pattern of your dreams. The entry form include photographs of my teensie-beensie feet, illustrating how you might measure.

Of course, the pattern uses a very simple heel turn. That may not be what you want and so, you may prefer to check out the books Joan suggested. I have discovered that I am not addicted to sock knitting. So, it is unlikely I will write another sock generator with a different heel turn any time soon.