Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Official Zygote of the Totally Knitting Unvierse

Several months ago Sooner told me his only sibling announced her plan to try to conceive children, beginning in April. Christine later found out from the doc it was better for her, physically, to have them sooner rather than later. They have been attempting ever since. And by "attempting" to have a baby I want it to be made clear that I am completely aware that Sooner's sister is having a lot of sex.

My suggestion to Christine via Sooner insofar as conception is concerned, is to have sex every single day like it's their job. I heard this advice at a closing and the woman said every couple who did just that was pregnant in three months. As some of you may or may not know, I am a lesbian and this advice is completely lost on me, as when I try to get pregnant it will cost money each time and must be more scientific, especially when we get to baby number three, who I have already decided will be Haywood's eggs infested with our donor's sperm and implanted unto me. I think that the sex every day method is marvelous advice and if you can conceive for free, by all means I want people to succeed.

Anyway, Brian found out yesterday that his sister is two weeks pregnant. We are both very excited. Especially since the only friend I have who has had a baby is Lauren and she is in California and the rest of my friends are at least a couple of years off from babies and Haywood's brothers aren't due for any more until 2006 (again, at that time I will know that people are having a lot of sex).

This new life form is completely the Official Zygote of the Totally Knitting Universe. We have installed a countdown tracker at the bottom of the blog and posted here for instant gratification. We are asking that anyone who wishes to sponsor the Official Zygote and knit something for it or just send us yarn to knit something for it please do so.

My money is on a girl.

Days Until Sooner Unclefies
Lilypie Baby Ticker



4 comments:

yoko said...

It took me a while to figure out that that word wasn't "un-clefies" but "uncle-fies" (become an uncle). Anyway, best wishes to the zygote, its host, and all concerned!

ratty said...

i hope that being an uncle is as cool as being an auntie, sooner.

Jess said...

Speaking on behalf of the Council for the American Non-Knitters Association, we approve this blog for it's hilarity and its distaste for all things ponchos. For years our Council has published pamphlets explaining the evils of the poncho. Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Ruth Sinclair
Yuma, AZ

lucia said...

If it's a boy, he will need a baby mancho.